To The Fairest
by Zura
Summary: Things are moving along for the crew after the defeat of the Collectors and the Normandy is busy raising funds for a sister ship. When a mission to liberate a planet goes awry Shepard takes a single casualty much harder than any other. When the women in his life stake their claims the commander faces yet another tough decision. Includes romances, 2nd of the "Fairest Of All" series.
1. Ares

The heat of the desert planet adds to the chaos around me. The walls of the converted colony keep out the ever present sand storms for the most part. It doesn't matter though. I'm in the middle of a far different, far worse kind of storm at the moment. Dozens of pirates armed to the teeth are shooting at me and my squad with more combined firepower than a turian dreadnought. I'm crouching behind the ruined husk of an armored personnel carrier I'd blown up minutes before. The sound of bullets whizzing and striking objects nearby is constant. There's a giant grin on my face.

In front of me is the main colony building five stories tall and around a hundred meters long surrounded by a thick, five meter high wall. Connecting to it via sky bridge is a much thinner but just as tall squarish building that must have once been a command post. The base was perched on a canyon edge probably to make sure it couldn't be attacked from all sides. Over the precipice and far down one of the planet's few rivers coursed though it was mostly moving sediment. We're being shot at from what seems like every window in both structures. The enemy had started off strong but piles of their dead littered the courtyard in front of the main building.

The sound of small artillery booms and thuds in my ribcage. Somewhere nearby a few dozen of the Normandy's marines are lighting up the horizon with mortars and mounted cannons. The pirates have back up but we're using their own defenses to keep their friends at bay. Above us shuttles are circling and waiting to extract us. It's only a matter of time before too many pirates show up with bigger guns. Inside the base however time is running out for the gang's leader and his death is the signal to pull out.

"Got them on the run now!" I shout to my squad. Up ahead Samara and Jack were decimating the right flank in front of the building's main entrance with thunderous biotic destruction. Dr. Mordin Solus and Tali'Zorah vas Normandy were providing cover fire and omni-tool attacks from the left. The center was reserved for yours truly, just the way I liked it.

Peeking around the corner I spotted a trio of pirates up ahead of me trying to line up shots on my biotics. I'm about to rush them when a bullet bounces off the smoking metal near my head and I involuntarily jerk back behind cover. "Goddammit snipers!" I yell into my mic. "What am I paying you people for if there's pirates taking shots from the roof!"

Turning the corner I dash at the trio before they can squeeze another trigger. The world slides into slow motion around me as I ramp up into a charge that will slam into my enemies with wrecking ball force.

* * *

><p>"You're not paying us at all Shepard." Garrus snapped as he took the head off the pirate who had the nerve to shoot at his commander. Up on high from a mountain cliff overlooking the settlement the turian was flanked by the mercenary veteran Zaeed Massani and the geth sniper Legion. Standing by their camouflaged position Jacob Taylor had his arms crossed while the others popped off shot after shot.<p>

"This is ridiculous." Jacob complained. "Why didn't I get a long range rifle for this mission?"

"Maybe you should have remembered to bring one, shit head." Massani laughed while pulling the slide back on his gun.

The blast from Legion's enormous Widow rifle shook the plateau and it said, "Perhaps you should submit a requisition order Taylor-soldier."

"Sassed by a geezer and a damn flashlight." Jacob muttered under his breath.

* * *

><p>The impact knocks the pirates from their feet and sends them scattered across the ground. By the time two of them regain their senses one is already dead and I'm running up on the second. Encased in the best armor available on the planet with many cosmetic embellishments the batarian had time to draw his sidearm. Swatting the pistol away with one arm I strike with the other. Armor plated bones, muscles reinforced by nanomachines and metallic weave, a custom suit enhancing motion and thousands of reps combined into a vicious blow that would have broken a heavy mech in half. On organics the effect was much more harsh and the batarian's skull gave way to my power gloved hand.<p>

The third gets a single shot off and it hits my shield with a soft thud as I close the distance between us. I duck a second shot and lunge forward with my foot. It crashes into the pirate's chest causing his armor and ribs to snap like plywood as he tumbles away with a mortal wound.

Only the barricade at the front of the building is left now. Somewhere inside a tyrannical human who calls himself Black Boot was running the show. He and his gang had executed hundreds of the planet's native inhabitants already. The crab-like mindartians were poor by galactic standards and made easy targets for the ruthless pirates. One of their number makes the mistake of leaning out of a window to take a shot at me. With a biotic tug I yank her out into the air and she plummets screaming to her death as I take cover behind one of the base's own pre-made barriers.

"Kasumi, I still have active turrets and a locked front door!" I shout while my Kassa Locust telescopes out in my hand. "If you want to take care of that sometime this week that would be nice!" I add while peppering the defense turrets' shields with automatic fire.

* * *

><p>"Kind of busy right now Shep." the master thief said as she bypassed firewall after firewall to access the base's datasphere. It was not easy to do with bullets whipping by and explosions going off what seemed like every other minute.<p>

"You're his teacher, can't you teach him a little patience?" she asked Thane Krios. Standing with his back to the wall the drell assassin leaned out into the sky bridge and placed a shot between the eyes of a human pirate some thirty meters away.

"A work in progress." he offered as the battle raged around them. A couple of bullets crashed through the window glass less than a meter away.

"A piece of work more like it." Kasumi grumbled as she finally gained access to the systems.

"Weapons are close to overheating." Thane announced after adding another pirate to the body pile accruing at the other end of the hallway.

"Won't be a problem for people like us now will it?" Kasumi asked with a smile.

* * *

><p>The thick blast doors to the base slide open and the turrets near them abruptly stop functioning. The surviving pirates retreat into the base but my squad concentrates fire on their position and many are cut down trying to flee. Leaping up out of cover I give orders on the move. "Jack, Samara, on me! Tali and Mordin, I want their data captured before they can wipe it! Sniper team, eyes out for stragglers, infiltration team, cover the exits!"<p>

Bounding into the entrance my biotics fall in line behind me. While both were as beautiful as they were deadly the two of them could not be more opposite. The asari justicar Samara lived by an uncompromising Code that embodied the highest values of her people. The convict Jack was an avatar of human suffering forged by years of cruelty and injustice. They only shared two important traits: both were devoted to me personally and both were savage biotic powerhouses who killed without mercy.

The pirates had formed a firing line behind hastily erected barricades some ten meters into base's main hallway. They unleashed a punishing volley on us and slugs pelted my shield like hot rain. Surging forward anyway I wait the critical milliseconds for Jack to turn their barricades into flattened metal. I see the blue flash out of the corner of my eye and pray it will get there in time. Out pacing me her biotic shock waves race ahead and tear the fortifications apart just as my shield is about to fail me.

I slide into two of the pirates and my charge kills one that was already crumpled from Jack's attack. The rest are disoriented, groggy and afraid. I'm exactly where I need to be to cause the most amount of damage. Guns are ripped from hands, elbows crush down on throats, fists shatter bones and armor alike while brutal techniques snap necks. The ones lucky enough to have a chance to escape me do not get by Samara. Lifting them off the ground she smashes them repeatedly into the wall until they're gone.

The whirlwind ends. There's no one left to hit. Scores of pirates have fallen to my squad by now and there can't be many left. My scientist duo brings up the rear while I shake the fluids of the dead from my gloves. "Move it you two!" I bark at them. "There's information that needs saving!"

They scuttle down the corridor with Tali's drone alongside them. I watch the quarian a little longer than is necessary. I'm needed elsewhere but preferably she'd be right behind me so I could personally make sure no harm came to her. No matter. She could take care of herself.

I knock my fists together. Back to it. "All right. Upstairs we go. Looks like the elevators are offline and they'll probably have the staircases heavily guarded."

"You bet your ass they will." Jack agreed. "They set up the place like they were expecting an invasion."

"Perhaps we should avoid their defenses then Shepard." Samara reasoned.

"Good thinking. Okay, break's over ladies. Jack, this floor has a terrible view. Show me the sky."

Her body flares up like a blue sun and Jack grunts in exertion as she amps up her considerable biotic talents. Thrusting her outstretched hands in the air a column of blue energy springs to life and hammers into the helpless ceiling. The building shakes as Jack obliterates the floors foolish enough to be in her way. Stepping back from the hole she just made the human fugitive watches the remnants of her work come crashing down in pieces. The building's newest ventilation shaft is just wide enough for a formerly dead person to get thrown through.

"What the hell just happened?" Garrus squawked over our comm units.

"Just doing some renovations. Carry on." I reply. When the dust clears out I look up and can indeed see the planet's dusty firmament from the bottom floor. "Good work Subject Zero." I compliment.

"Fuck you Shepard, don't call me that."

I grin and turn to the justicar. "Fifth floor if you don't mind my dear."

Wrapping my body in blue light Samara hurls me upward towards my objective. I really am having entirely too much fun.

* * *

><p>The automated turrets are no match for the combined efforts of Mordin and Tali'Zorah. Four ruined gun platforms were still hot and sizzling while the quarian genius hacked a particularly well encrypted door. Behind her the salarian watched for any organics trying to stop them.<p>

"Mission going smoothly. Many hostiles disposed of. Great service to locals." Mordin said and sucked in a breath. "Good to get out of the lab once in a while."

"Sometimes I'd prefer to stay there." Tali said while continuing to work.

"Why don't you? Shepard would allow it. Closeness to you. Value as a quarian contact."

"I said sometimes, Doctor. It would feel wrong being safe back on the Normandy with all of you being shot at." Tali explained. "Oh come on you little-"

The doors opened suddenly and revealed the contents of the room.

"...bosh'tet..." she trailed off.

* * *

><p>Making his last stand ingloriously behind piled up crates and desks Black Boot cowers in what used to be his command post. His last handful of men hide with him and I'm sure there isn't much fight left in any of them. With guns drawn me and my strike team block the only doorway out. "Give it up Boot." I command. "You've got two options. You can surrender and face trial or die right here, right now."<p>

"You think I'm stupid Shepard? I'd get the death penalty anyway!" the pirate leader called out.

"If you cooperate, give us intel and help me dismantle the rest of your gang I'll see to it you get life in prison. Same goes for the rest of you, surrender and you won't be harmed. But you'll do the maximum amount of time."

I hear a clatter and a pirate jumps out from behind the desks with his hands up. "Don't shoot, I sur-"

Jack's plasma shotgun kicks and hits him square in the chest. The unfortunate pirate screams as he goes down and is dead almost before he hits the ground.

"JACK! What the hell are you doing!" I yell.

"Sorry Commander, I thought you were bluffing with that prison offer." she shrugged.

"Uh no!"

"Oh. Okay. My bad."

"When do we ever shoot unarmed prisoners!" I rage.

"Hmm. Never, now that I think about it." the biotic adept said.

"They are evil men Shepard." Samara chimed in. "I would have killed them as well."

"That's it! Both of you, give me your guns!" I command.

"What?"

"You heard me! Your gun privileges are revoked-"

"Go to hell Shepard!" Boot cried and his men open fire on us.

"Goddammit!" I shout over the din. "Bring that roof down on them!"

The three of us concentrate our total biotic power on the structure above Black Boot and his men. Rending stone and metal we drop that corner of the room on their position in a deafening avalanche. Debris explodes out in a fast moving cloud and turns the room into a swirling dust bowl. I wave the clouds away from my face and stroll casually over to what is left of the pirates. A not quite dead turian outlaw struggled to free himself from the rubble and I put a round in his back as I pass by.

Throwing aside a beam I come upon the quickly departing Black Boot. He had taken a large chunk of broken off roof in the chest and was gurgling the last of his breaths out. I look down and laugh a little despite the situation.

"What Shepard?" Jack asked.

"He's wearing brown boots." I remark.

"Very funny, Commander."

Incredibly the pirate was still alive enough to somehow laugh as well with his remaining strength. Frothy pink spittle bubbled up from his lips with an altogether unpleasing sound.

"What's he so happy about?" Jack said.

Black Boot made a few more gurgling sounds and I was about to put him out of his misery when Tali's frantic voice came into my ear. "Shepard!" she said as shrill as I'd ever heard her. "This place is wired to blow up!"

"What!"

"The bombs are linked to someone's vital signs, I'm trying to reroute them but you need to stop killing people!"

The three of us looking down at the rapidly dying Black Boot and a stab of panic hits my stomach like a krogan blade. "Clear the building! Now, now, now! Run!" I yell and take off for the room's exit. "Tali, get out of there!"

"Wait, I think I can-"

I lose her voice as the blood pounds in my ears. Spotting a window on my right I nearly skid into the wall trying to slow myself down enough to turn towards it. "Down here, move, move!" I yell at my biotics as they bolt past me towards the window. We make a mad dash forward and when they are a few meters away from the glass I bring up both hands and literally throw them out of the building with my biotics.

There aren't many times when I have willingly jumped out of a five story building but I make an exception. Hurling myself through the shattered glass I try to prep a landing cushion when the bombs go off. The sandy horizon is the last thing I see before I black out.


	2. Alcestis

The wind whips sand across polished metal and tries to bury it like a forgotten pyramid. Desert heat seeps into every pore and I gradually come to with the taste of blood in my mouth. Sputtering and coughing into hard packed sand the pain slowly begins to register as I become more aware of my surroundings. I have internal injuries and there's something wrong with my spine. I'm laying face down on a sloping dune and my entire body hurts.

It takes me a few minutes to realize that I can't hear anything. I can feel the vibrations of sand billowing around me and striking my armor plated limbs but there's no sound to accompany it. In the distance I sense the faint vibrations of automatic fire and heavier weapons occasionally launching deadly payloads. At least then I know some of my people are still alive. I try to get up but my right arm doesn't move. Panting in exertion I rock myself onto my back and look up at the dusty sky. Taking off the blue goggles I favor in combat I drop them aside to let the natural light of the Karnak system's sun hit my eyes.

Craning my head up I can see where the top of the building used to be that I had jumped out of. Only a small portion of it was still standing to my right. The rest had been blown to smoking rubble and even the nearby security wall had been knocked down. There is a dull buzzing in my head that blocks out the sound of nearly everything around me including the grainy sand shifting around me.

I blink several times and realize that I can hear the wind around me if only faintly in the presence of the oppressive white noise dominating my skull. It is of little comfort now but things were looking up from a few moments ago. Scanning around as best I can without sitting up a shadow passes over me. Squinting I see Thane Krios standing over me. He looks unharmed as he kneels down.

"Master." I say and can barely hear the sound of my own voice.

"Shepard. Will you live?" he asks without emotion.

"I think. My radio is down…what's going on?"

He hands me his ear piece which is more of a long barb made for drell auditory organs but I jam it in my ear anyway. Straining to listen I can hear Garrus shouting orders. Comforting.

"-ssing fire on the double. We need immediate evac along with search and rescue!"

Whoever he was talking to wasn't on my channel but I heard the turian's response anyway. "I don't care! Get every available marine and trainee we have locked and loaded! They wanted field experience so today they get it!"

I close my eyes. My head is killing me and my own voice sounds distant but I can't let go just yet. "…shore team, status report."

"Shepard!" Garrus perks up. "You had me worried you bastard. Where are you?"

"With Thane…on a dune somewhere behind the building…everyone else?"

"Jack and Samara are with me Shep." Kasumi said. "Mordin's hurt pretty bad, we need to get him out of here."

"Tali…has anyone seen Tali?"

There's a few seconds worth of pause that makes my stomach flip despite my more pressing injuries.

"Tali?"

"The blast knocked down comms Shep, maybe she can't check in." the master thief suggested.

A wave of pain comes over me as I try to rise and I swoon. The world goes dark for a moment and suddenly Thane's face is directly above me. "Find her…find her-" I get out before the darkness takes me.

* * *

><p>Surgical machines work on my body for hours. It's a strangely familiar sensation to not feel parts of me getting cut open and sewn back up. It is not even a true memory but only a dim awareness that things were happening to me. In between sedative induced black outs I can see Mordin being patched up alongside me. I don't see Tali or a body bag so I will assume she is alive until told otherwise.<p>

The sound of beeps and clicks rouse me from a deep torpor and I wake up on a cot in the Normandy's medical bay. The dull noise is gone and I can thankfully hear again. On different spots I can feel the soreness and the stitches to accompany invasive surgery but they will heal relatively quickly. I flex all my fingers and wiggled my toes to find everything in working order. Dr. Chukwas notices my movements and makes a beeline for my bed.

"Commander, you're awake." she said.

"Tali'Zorah." I croak.

The good doctor has been a friend of mine for a long time. She took my left hand, which still had a sensor over the index finger, into hers. "We held out as long as we could but Garrus had to get everyone out of there. I'm sorry."

"Did anyone recover her body?"

Chukwas was military veteran of dozens of engagements and full pitched battles. I could tell she was uncomfortable with whatever information she had. I didn't think anything could ruffle her. "Shepard…I talked to Dr. Solus when he was awake. She was in the room with the bulk of the explosives. If she was still there when they went off-"

"There would not be enough left of her for a DNA scan." I finish. Chukwas looks away from me. Plans begin to form in my mind as I try to sit up and find something that shoots.

"Easy Commander. You need a time to heal. Even you have to rest once in a while."

"I have things to do." I growl.

"Not yet you don't. I'm your doctor and you're not leaving this room until I say so."

The door to the med bay opens and Garrus Vakarian enters. He walks confidently over to me and puts his hand on Chukwas' shoulder. "Excuse us Doctor."

"Of course. Just keep in mind that while you two might command on the battlefield, in here I make the choices." Chukwas said and returned to her desk to look over her latest scans.

"You gave us quite a scare, Shepard." Garrus said while looking over his shoulder at the doctor. "She's been guarding you like a newborn." he said under his breath.

"What's the situation?"

"We pulled out before they could overtake us. Recovered what we could but we had to get out of there fast. I'm betting with Boot gone locals will be a bit more loose lipped about where to find more of his gang. So to speak."

"Let's not move on that just yet." I order. "Get some eyes and ears on the ground. Offer up bounties for base locations. Someone will talk. Until then it's business as usual."

"Aye aye."

"One more thing. I want a specialist down at the base. Tali's body has to be found or at the very least a full report on what was done to find it."

"Shepard-"

"Please Garrus. If nothing else I need evidence we did all we could for the quarian admirals."

"...all right. What are you going to do?"

"I'm on bed rest for a week or two. Until then the Normandy is yours. Get used to it Captain."

The turian sniper takes his leave and I lay back on the medical cot. Visions of death dance in my head and I itch to be up and walking around so I can punch something. While Tali's body had not yet been found there was little possibility she survived the explosion. Even if she did my crew would have located her or she would have called in. Every sign pointed to her death. There was nothing I could do for her now and that would spur me on to do violence upon those who harmed her. There would be blood.

Angels save my enemies now.

* * *

><p>The pain comes in waves and is as persistently annoying as the increasing light. The two team up to rouse a nearly unrousable Tali'Zorah. Her entire body throbbed and there was an infection beginning to clog her breathing passages. Coughing she spit up blood and mucus onto the inside of her own helmet.<p>

Twisting her painfully she tried to see where she was. Vaguely the quarian remembered fighting for air after the blast threw her a fair distance. There was sand inside her suit which meant she had tried to breath it in at some point. Everything after that was hazy but it was likely the only thing that saved her life was co-opting Legion's geth shield technology. Once it was clear she couldn't reroute the bombs she had leaped through a window but landed awkwardly on the shield wall before the explosion knocked the both of them down over the edge. Behind her a sand river lazily flowed by and that too was another reason she hadn't been killed by the fall over the cliff side.

The injured quarian tried to sit up and realized something was terribly wrong. The blast had fused part of her suit to her back and arms from the heat. The slightest movement caused a pain so intense she nearly screamed just trying to move. Tears of frustration welled up in her eyes but she would not die here. Jaw clenched through the searing pain movement caused she tried to activate her omni-tool and radio. To her dismay the suit's systems were almost completely off line. Her chances of survival just dropped by a fair margin but she wouldn't allow herself to dwell on it.

No matter what she knew she had to move. The river gouged a path through the rocky terrain that would make it hard to spot her from above. Higher ground was her only chance of being spotted either by a passer by or possibly the Normandy from orbit. Bracing herself for the agony Tali used her undamaged feet to push herself forward towards only part of the canyon wall that looked like it was sloping downward. Exhausting minutes ticked by and she only managed to get four or five meters before having to stop.

It was clear crawling wasn't going to do much and she tried to get up but her entire back and arms flared into white hot pain when she tried to use them. Screaming into the said Tali breathed hard as the burning sensation slowly faded. She was going to die on this dusty planet from injury, starvation or illness. She wished she could have seen Shepard one last time.

* * *

><p>Resting in my bed I have little to do but watch holovids. I could have gone through my mail but I didn't feel like answering them. Right now the most important thing going on was learning about the flora and fauna of Earth. While I had visited that lonely blue planet a few times I didn't have the same kind of attachment to it other humans did. I was born somewhere in between star systems in a freighter carrying my parents and a lot more colonial hopefuls. It didn't work out and I was primarily raised on ships. Probably why I identified so much with the formerly alive Tali'Zorah vas Normandy.<p>

"Commander." EDI suddenly said. "Dr. Solus is here to see you."

I turn off the vid. "Send him in."

The former salarian commando quickly enters and presents himself at the end of my bed. "Shepard."

"What can I do for you Mordin?"

"Had to come by. Check in you. Talk about what happened." he said.

"As pleasant as that sounds Doctor I'd rather skip it."

"Human emotions messy. Have to move past them sometimes. Facts remain. Planet side on Duat, was with Tali'Zorah. Failed to force her to evacuate. Could have done more." Mordin took in a hasty breath. "Didn't. Had to tell you face to face."

"Nonsense. I know she locked you out of the room. That you tried to break in. You don't owe me an apology."

"Not so sure. Realize how much she meant to you. Humans irrational sometimes. Had to talk. Make amends if necessary."

I shake my head. Hard given the number of stitches still healing and work done to repair my spine. "Not this time Mordin. I would tell you if you did."

"Good. Glad to hear it. Still, troubled by your loss. Unfair. One more thing. Windows visible in room before explosion. Possible she made it out. Shield strength strong, suit protects against elements."

"I appreciate you trying to cheer me up Mordin. It's been three days. If we haven't found anything and she hasn't reported in. If she can't reach us and is alone in the desert, how long do you think she'll last?"

"Don't give up Shepard. Not like you. Not like your kind. Hope greatest asset." the salarian said before he sucked in a good breath. "Greatest weakness."

* * *

><p>Time seemed to stop while Tali struggled to make progress. The desert world of Duat had a long day followed by a cold and short night that worked against her favor at the moment. It was however a welcome relief from the heat and she had fallen asleep near sundown. Cold shivers woke her constantly and morning came after what seemed like only minutes of rest. Dawn brought the slow return of the relentless heat and a renewed effort to make progress. Hunger gnawed at her stomach but it was a dull ache compared to the myriad of more pressing problems she was dealing with.<p>

It took her most of what she assumed was the morning to half-push, half-crawl ten meters towards the gradually sloping canyon wall. She estimated that another five meters or so would get her to a small ledge that she would have to shove herself onto. It was only a few centimeters high but might as well have been a mountain given how difficult it was going to be getting over it.

Alternately grunting and crying as she fought for every bit of distance Tali almost didn't hear the clicking sounds coming from nearby. She froze where she was and tried not to make any noise as the sounds became louder. Alone and nearly incapacitated on an unfamiliar world she had little chance to fight off threats from local wildlife. Struggling to move reach down to her hip Tali found her heavy pistol still mercifully strapped to her leg. Fumbling at the gun something came up over the dunes before she was ready.

A half dozen eye stalks popped up from a few meters away. Tali blinked in her helmet at this strange development as the glistening, black orbs studied her. There was more of that clicking sound and the creatures came up over the ridge. There were three of them covered in loose, flowing robes in many shades of light brown. It made for effective camouflage on a planet constantly battered by sand storms. Little else but their eye stalks were showing but she could see bits of chitinous shell underneath. These had to be the local mindartians that she'd been briefed on.

"Uh...hello?" she said. There wasn't much intel about the natives other than they were semi nomadic and resisted contact with the Terminus off worlders. The three of them began talking with chirping, clicking noises made by mouths she could not see. Whatever they was happened they were excited and pointed at her with slender claws covered in robes. Her hand was still hovering next to her gun but the quarian had no idea if she would need it.

"Don't suppose any of you have a translator on you." Tali asked almost to herself. One of the group timidly came forward a few steps closer to her. It lifted three of its long arms and pantomimed shooting a large gun against its shoulder. It then pointed at the sky and Tali got a good look at the mindartian's three fingered, claw like hand. It repeated both movements and added a circling motion to the sky pointing.

It took the quarian a moment to piece together what it was trying to get across. Nodding Tali pulled her pistol free and threw it a couple centimeters from her body. Wincing as she did it was sadly the farthest she could get the weapon. Instantly the three of them began chattering at a quickened rate and she still had no indication if she was about to be saved or roasted alive. Abruptly the group turned and quickly fled on their multiple feet.

"Hey...hey! Wait! Hold on!" she called to no avail. The clicking gradually faded until it was overtaken by the sounds of the desert she had come to loathe.

"Bosh'tet..." she cursed. She did her best to look up at the blazing sun. It was barely to the halfway point in the sky. It was going to be a long, long day. Tali'Zorah started crawling again. Hopefully her visitors would either come back with medical supplies or bullets to put her out of her misery.


	3. Apollo

Nearly three hours of painful dragging had passed before Tali'Zorah heard the chirps coming back again over the dunes. This time she was prepared with the pistol even if she was mostly sure she wouldn't need it. While her time on the Fleet was marked with a trust of her fellow quarians anywhere else was a different story.

In travelling with Shepard she had gained a soldier's perspective on things. It was a ready kind of paranoia that meant she marked exits and entrances to buildings, spied optimal firing positions, sized up anyone carrying a weapon automatically and never, ever went anywhere without her shotgun. It was a different existence than she ever dreamed she would have among the safety of the Fleet and one her parents did not prepare her for. On the other hand no quarian had ever been to places and in the kinds of battles she had so how could they?

Even injured and needing friends she kept her pistol surreptitiously pointed at the mindartians as they crested the dunes towards her. Eight of them came this time all similarly dressed except for one. It stood apart from the others with robes of dark blues and grays that were in stark contrast to others' much more earthy patterns. It carried a metallic staff that Tali didn't realize at first was actually a spear. It also took her a few moments to realize this mindartian was glowing with the advanced tech of a modern personal shield.

"Uh...hi?" she said.

"Hello ma'am." the dark robed creature chirped. "You appear to have suffered grievous wounds fighting the oppressors. We wish to take you away from here and treat you."

The words were overly formal and even with a translator had odd inflections she was not used to. Despite that she had scarcely heard such a beautiful set of sentences in her entire life. "Thank you, thank you so much. My suit though...it is contaminated and burned onto my skin. It hurts quite a bit."

"We will do what we can." the creature said and signaled to the others. They circled her and lifted the injured quarian but there was no helping the agony that came with being rescued. She howled as their claws hoisted her up and she barely felt the slight pinch in her arm. The world mercifully went black after that.

* * *

><p>The shuttle gently rocks back and forth as it escapes Karnak's gravitational pull. I strip my armor from my body as I read the latest reports from my recovery teams. No sign of Tali's body so far. No sign of anything in the wake of that devastating explosion. It's entirely possible her remains were simply disintegrated by the force and heat of the bombs. If there was anything left I was determined to find it. If I could be brought back from the dead she could too.<p>

So far it did not look good and that did not make me happy. This was bad news for the rest of the Boot gang hiding in Karnak's mountains. They had terrorized New Haven and the entire planet for far too long. If there was nothing to locals could do about it then there would have to be someone else. That just happened to be me at the moment.

My muscles ached and burned in silent protest and begged for a day or two of recovery before another thorough workout. I am physically exhausted from my trip planet side but mentally drained as well. I continue reading the reports but I'm not processing much of the unhelpful information. My only goal is to get back to my cabin and wash the smell of the dead off of me.

We dock with the Normandy and the shuttle finally sets down in the cargo bay still full of recently recovered equipment and random training modules. The shuttle door goes up and waiting for me are an equipment officer and medic. My weapons and armor are taken while the medic gives me a quick post-mission exam. He puts a flashlight in my eyes and pokes at me until he's satisfied everything is in working order aside from the bruises. When he clears me I gladly shuffle towards the elevator. These conspirators are sworn to secrecy; I'd rather the crew not know about my excursions.

Stepping into the main elevator it hurls me upward towards the top of the ship. The doors open and I step out into the bridge. The lights have been shut off and the galaxy map darkened. When the ship runs on night hours only minimal systems and guide lights are activated for the skeleton crew that stay awake. Strange that I was here at all since I was fairly certain I had pressed the button for my cabin. I reach for it again when EDI's voice emanates from nearby.

"Commander. Garrus Vakarian and Jacob Taylor wish to speak with you in the debriefing room."

I rub eyes that would much rather be closed at the moment. "I asked you to keep this quiet, EDI."

"I did not inform them or anyone else Shepard. They found out on their own."

Grumbling I force my feet to carry me around the corner to the conference room. Inside both Garrus and Jacob are waiting for me at the back of the room. Neither seem to be pleased to see me.

"Gentlemen." I greet them.

"Have a seat Shepard." Garrus gestures and I am all too happy to oblige him. Folding my arms into a cradle I rest my head on the table.

"Make this fast so I can shower." I add.

"How long were you going to keep this from us Commander?" Jacob demanded.

"I don't know. Ten million years." I answer sarcastically.

"We're doing everything we can to find her and gather info on the rest of the Boot gang. Why the hell are you out acting on it without us?" he asked in a tone I'm not sure was completely respectful.

"That sounds suspiciously like a subordinate questioning the judgment of a superior officer."

"Good. Hate to think you too high and mighty to get the picture." he said.

"You're out of line Taylor." I snapped.

"And you're not thinking straight Commander." he had the gall to say. "The original mission was dangerous enough. These...additional operations are completely unnecessary."

"I don't consider ridding the galaxy of pirates unnecessary but then again I'm in charge." I remind him. "I don't need permission to run ops."

"Speaking freely sir, that's some bullshit. We followed you to hell. Now you're sneaking off in the middle of the night-"

"Risking only myself!" I raise my voice. "I've earned the right to make that decision!"

"We've earned the right to stop you from making stupid ones!" Jacob slammed his hand down on the table.

"Enough, the both of you." Garrus interrupted. "Jacob, hit the rack, I need to speak to the commander alone."

Giving us both smoldering glares the former Cerberus operative stormed out of the room. I set my head back down on the table. "That promotion has gone straight to his head." I comment.

"He's right and you know it." the turian said and came to sit next to me. He stared a few moments before adding, "What are you doing Shepard? This isn't like you."

"Pirates killed Tali. I kill pirates. Sounds like a pretty simple equation."

"Not like this. Ordering secrecy. Going on night hours. Fighting alone." he pressed me.

"I didn't want anyone else getting hurt while I softened up the Boot gang."

"Soften?" he echoed. "Is that what you call wiping out a base?"

"This is personal Garrus. It's between me and them."

"No it isn't." he disagreed. "The Normandy depends on you. Hell, the galaxy does. You shouldn't be out by yourself when any one of us would take a bullet for you."

"Too many already have." I sigh.

"This won't bring her back Shepard."

"No, but it might make me feel better."

"It won't." the master sniper shook his head. "I know."

"Yeah? How?"

"You asked me repeatedly to let Sedonis live. I put a round through his skull anyway. I thought I would feel better. Do right by my men. Wish I had listened to you. I've had a lot of time to think about it. I don't feel better. Just empty."

"It's not fair." I say sadly. "Everything I've done for other people. This is my reward? My good karma?"

"Bad things happen to good people Shepard. You said this yourself once."

"But not Tali. Anyone but her."

He puts his hand on my shoulder. "My heart is broken for your loss."

Rising to his feet the turian stops at the door before leaving. "Get some sleep. And don't ever go out alone again or I'll take a hammer to your legs."

"Go ahead. They're close to unbreakable."

"Your joints aren't." he threatened and left the room. I feel like I haven't slept in years. I shamble off to bed.

* * *

><p>Wild dreams play out in nightmare focus filtered through hazy logic. Thought loops of things that don't matter fixate and lock in for hours and days at a time. A fragmented memory joins together with a location never visited before. Someone speaking without a voice. Visions of ships and lights and a thousand suns exploding at once. A building made entirely of smoke and dark matter.<p>

Everything is hot. Tali'Zorah opens muck encrusted eyes and the insanity is chased away for a few moments. A heavy, dulling pressure in her head clouds her senses but she is still mostly aware. Lying on her back on a medical bed she is encased in a bubble of some plastic material barely larger than her cot. Beyond it is a darkened, arching room filled with beeping machines. With some difficulty the quarian focused on the only other person she could see. Sitting by and quite inattentively looking over a data pad was a bald and aged human that reminded her of a librarian. A human one at any rate.

"Who are you?" she asked. Her voice was thick and hoarse from the inflamed throat hampering her ability to speak.

"Oh my, you're awake." the human said. "Sorry, I didn't notice. I'm Leslie. Ghulya hired me on to patch you up."

"Ghul...who?"

"The mindartian who brought you here? The one in dark robes. They're hard to tell apart I know. It's a good thing he sent for me quickly. You were running a very high fever and in pretty bad shape."

"Where's my ship?" Tali croaked.

"Ship? I'm sorry, I don't know the details. I've been here keeping you from shaking loose this mortal coil."

"Uh..."

"How do you feel?"

"Like I'm dying." she said miserably.

"You'll make it." he smiled. "The mindartians are great healers but they had no idea how to handle a quarian. Lucky for you I was trained in xenopharmacology."

"Did...you just make that word up?"

"Hah! I wish. With humans a few doses of penicillin does the trick most of the time. Aliens are more complicated."

"How long have I been here?"

"Um...a few days before I arrived so...almost a week now."

"Days...ugh." Tali grumbled. The pressure on her head was constant and extremely unpleasant. She had the urge to simply go back to sleep.

"You have a few more days of meds to go until your fever breaks. I'll give you something to help you rest."

Closing her eyes she was dimly aware of the human doctor fiddling with her IV drip. It wasn't long until she was out again and this time there were no dreams.

Sweat had formed and was subsequently cycled away by the quarian's suit. Tali woke and immediately felt much better than she had since the battle occurred. The pressure in her head was gone and her breathing passages were almost completely unclogged. Whatever the human had done it worked despite the odds against success. Sitting up she took advantage of the water left nearby for her.

Feeling much more lucid she was able to take better stock of the room she was in. Filled with boxes of medical supplies and equipment it was actually not as big as she first thought. Some of the objects looked ancient while others had to be brand new or close to it. The room itself was not more than a few meters in diameter with a low ceiling.

The cloth-like door that served as the entrance opened and the doctor bowed his head into the hut. "Ah, awake again." he smiled. "Do you remember me?"

"Ah...yes, um, not your name though." Tali admitted.

"Leslie Kale. Our mutual friend Ghulya hired me to save your life. Not an easy task if I do say so myself." he said as he took his seat by her bubble.

"Ah. Yes. Tali'Zorah vas Normandy."

"Pleased, I'm sure."

"Everything is foggy but I remember you now. How long...?"

"Nine days since they brought you in. Seven since I've been here. They contacted me early the first day you arrived when it was clear they couldn't handle it."

"I- wait, two days for you to get here?" she asked.

The doctor laughed. "You Citadel types are used to high technology everywhere you turn. Out here in the Terminus things are a little different. Especially on Karnak the towns are few and far between. There's just the one space port and I had to get here by buggy."

"Thank you for that." she said gratefully. "I wouldn't have made it for sure."

"At first it was just a job. I've done work for the mindartians in the past so naturally they came to me first. Offered ten thousand credits. I had no idea where they came up with the money but it would do wonders for my clinic. Might not seem like a lot of money to you but around here that's a fortune and a half. The mindartians don't have much. It must have been everything they had."

"I am in their debt." Tali nodded. "I will be able to pay them back many times over."

Leslie shook his head. "Their culture doesn't work like that. You've done them a great service and one they cannot easily repay. If you were to try to compensate them for your rescue it would be a phenomenal insult."

"Oh..."

"Besides," he continued. "once I found out who you were I refused to be paid."

"You know who I am?"

"I've been on Karnak many years. The gangs and outlaws were always a problem but nothing like Black Boot. Scum are scum but they usually aren't a threat until they become organized. Boot and his men came in and wiped an entire mindartian community off the map.

The doctor's gentle face creased with sadness. "They were scared. Us aliens had come in peace, usually. The mindartians kept the location to their homes a secret for the most part but after the massacre it was absolute. They nearly cut ties with everyone. But they needed help. See, only the males wear the dark robes and are trained to kill. They have hunted at night when the desert is cool and prey is more readily available for centuries. They're low in number though. Ghulya is one of the more powerful in the area and he leads only five other males."

"But I saw quite a few of them when they rescued me."

"Those were females. They wear the brown robes for working during the day. Wives I guess you could call them. Between Ghulya and his allies there are almost a hundred mindartians but only six are warriors. Even then they are among the few on the planet willing to use modern technology. It's not enough."

"Why are you telling me all this?" Tali asked. "I am interested of course but-"

"Ah. Yes. The point. I'm getting to it. There were nearly three hundred mindartians in the clan Black Boot slaughtered. Only fifteen or so would have been warriors and I'm not sure if they were armed with much more than metal spears. From numbers and tech standpoints they never stood a chance."

Leslie sat back and sighed. "They might look like crabs to you but the mindartians are not stupid. They know they can't effectively fight back. Without custom made armor and modern weapons they can't defend themselves, much less take back their planet. None understand this better than Ghulya. He is the vanguard of the push to reform their society to modern times. Among his people his voice carries great weight. Clans across the deserts of Karnak listen when he speaks but they are hesitant."

"If he's so influential then why have the rest of the mindartians not followed him?" Tali asked.

"There is considerable mistrust for alien equipment that they are reluctant to use. Traditions run strong here. The massacre was a very real, very rude wake up call for them that they were badly out matched."

"How awful..." Tali said echoes in her mind of her own people's struggle.

"It was him the clans turned to after the incident. He knew pulling warriors from hundreds of kilometers away was still not the answer to their basic problems. He did the only thing he could. He asked me for help. There wasn't much I could do alone but I knew a group of people who might be able to."

"You sent us that message." Tali concluded. "You asked the Normandy for help."

"I did." Leslie nodded. "I contacted the Alliance first but they had bigger problems. Officially the Council and the Alliance pass off your commander's announcement about the Reapers as an elaborate fantasy. Really though everyone is scrambling to build up their forces and get intel. Not to mention out here in the Terminus they wouldn't come in force anyway. I knew it was a long shot."

"So you called us. Hoping we could help."

"You were our only chance. No way could we pay mercs enough to wipe out that many pirates. Too many, too well armed. That fortress they built up? Might as well have been throwing rocks at Mount Olympus."

"I don't understand the reference but go on." she said.

"Then your crew came. Like the hammer of the gods. Ghulya had people watching the base around the clock in case Boot moved in on them. From what I understand it was a mighty conflict."

"You learn to expect the extraordinary from Shepard." Tali said. "I don't know what draws him to insane odds and crazy battles but he never lets us down. As long as he's still breathing we have a chance to beat anything."

Leslie looked up at the ceiling. "There's not much I can do for them but offer advice. Your Normandy did more for them in one day than I could hope to do in years. One thing I know for sure though. The mindartians would die for your Commander Shepard if he asked. That he would cross the stars to help a people he'd never met and did not expect anything from? That you yourself would have died to save them...in their society there is literally nothing they could do to repay you. Death would be the least of it."

Lying back on the bed Tali tried to take in everything she had been told. There was so much to do for the Normandy and her crew already. They could not solve everyone's problems. The best they could do was help "where the need was most dire" as Shepard put it. Sometimes it meant forcing a diplomatic solution or destroying buildings and data. Sometimes it meant killing a lot of people. There were few occasions when she wished they could do more to help the ones they'd already gone out of their way to help. This was certainly one of them.

Leslie could see that she was processing what he told her and his tone subtly changed. "I'm sorry. I know it's a lot to put on your plate. You've just recovered from life threatening injuries and here I am talking your ear off about our problems."

"It's fine, really." she answered.

"Medically you're in the clear. Another couple days of rest and antibiotics and you'll be ready to get back on your feet. Your suit is repaired too by the way. Unfortunately there was significant tissue damage to your back and arms. You'll have some pretty unsightly scars but nothing your fancy Citadel machines can't fix."

"Thank you doctor. I owe you much."

"No. It is we who are deeply in your debt Miss Tali'Zorah." Leslie rose and bowed his head. "Ghulya will want to speak with you. Know that whatever you talk about that you are a hero to him and he is a hero to his people. What you say will mean quite a bit for their futures."

Tali waited for the doctor to leave before closing her eyes. This was turning out to be a much different mission than she had bargained for.


	4. Hera

Quarantined in my own cabin I've decided that a small vacation is the best way to recuperate. When I eventually require food I have it delivered to my door and retrieve the meals when it suits me. Me and everyone else are like an angry married couple that aren't on speaking terms. My crew isn't happy about my solo missions and I'm not particularly pleased they decided to interfere. So if I couldn't do what I wanted and everything was taken care of planetside then I decided I would be passing the time with enough alcohol to kill an elephant. I'd already watched all of the holovids I had with Tali in them and had since moved on to a special on deadly plant diseases that could be transferred to humans. I was waiting to see if they mentioned the Thorian when I was rudely interrupted.

The door to my cabin opens and I'm immediately annoyed. No one is allowed in here without my express permission. From my comfortable position on the couch I consider storming around the corner to see who it is but instead I use the short seconds to fume. I'm preparing the choice words I will use to lay into someone when Liara T'soni comes around the corner. She is taken aback by the sight of me.

"Goddess! Shepard!"

"Liara?" I blink through reddened eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"I called..."

"Oh. Right. You got here fast."

"That was two days ago Shepard." she says as she steps over half eaten food on the floor. "You're a mess."

"I'll be fine." I hiccup. "Where's my pants...? I would have cleaned up a bit if I knew you were coming..."

"You did know I was coming. Get up Shepard. You need to get out of here. Walk the ship. People are depending on you to keep up morale. They need to see their commander functional, not drunk and reeking of sweat."

Now that she mentioned it I had been needing a good bath or two but I still had my dignity. I wasn't about to simply do what she told me just because she was completely right. "Eh..." I shrug.

"Get up." she repeated. "Go shower, shave, clean yourself up and for the Goddess' sake put some pants on. Then go reassure your crew you're still sane."

Grumbling about her not being my mother I nevertheless do as I'm told. The bathroom is cold and empty and the shower pod only serves to remind me of how many times and ways I'd taken Tali on various surfaces in it. Perhaps I'd been avoiding this room for that very reason. If there's one thing I didn't like it was doing things without realizing I was doing them. It gave me the irritation necessary to force myself to disrobe and turn the faucet on. Steam engulfs the space around me and curls up to my body as I numbly step into the stream. The hot water feels good on grimy skin and while I don't want to leave the shower or the cabin for that matter I know Liara is right. It will do no good to keep this up. There was so much weight on my shoulders...I felt like Atlas convincing Hercules to bear my load for just a moment. I always knew though that I would have to take it back eventually.

I do what I had been putting off and tour the decks while listening to status reports but I'm hardly listening. I sense the crew tip toeing around me and I find it difficult to care at that moment. Even my friends seem to be whispering in hushed tones as I passed by but most of them had enough going on to keep busy. I'm sure there were always some calibrations that needed doing or viruses to be studied.

* * *

><p>Awake for hours after coming out of her fever Tali was going stir crazy in the confined space that had helped save her life. While the bubble around her had been removed as it was no longer needed she was still trapped in her bed. It was such a change of pace from her time on the Normandy. A day rarely went by without a new problem, new data, something new to tinker with. Stuck where she was the engineer yearned for something to take apart and eyed the very machines tasked with keeping track of her health. Surely all of them were not necessary?<p>

The monotony was broken by a mindartian entering her recovery room. The tent opening flapped open dramatically from the desert air outside but it was more or less wasted on the short figure coming in. With deep blue and gray robes this must have been Ghulya. "Hello ma'am." he said courteously.

"Hello. Ghulya right? We've never been properly introduced. You can call me Tali."

The crab like mindartian's eye stalks wiggled slightly. He moved gracefully as he slid across the small room to stand by her bed. When it was apparent he wasn't going to speak Tali cleared her throat. "Thank you for saving my life."

"The death of the oppressors is all the thanks needed." he replied. It was impossible to read his features and judge his mood as the mindartian had no features to read. "The quarian Tali'Zorah will be well soon. How can Ghulya assist her?"

His speech patterns were strange to her and it was clear the translators were not quite perfected for the mindartian's native language. "Ah...well I need to get a message to my ship. Is there an extranet terminal near here?"

"Negative ma'am. The only terminal access station is in the hub city and will take two cycles to reach. It is also closely watched by the oppressors. They seek to control and limit the information concerning Planet. Many still do not know of their crimes. The human Leslie and the quarian Tali'Zorah would be in great danger attempting to access it."

"Hmm." Tali thought. Maybe she could hop on a ship off world headed somewhere back into Alliance space. "I need to get to the hub city as soon as possible. Perhaps I can get on a star ship. I will also need credits for passage."

"So sorry, but the clan does not have sufficient funds for passage. Please allow more time to raise credits."

"Waiting." Tali grumbled. She needed fast cash and couldn't access her private accounts with her omni-tool reduced to fancy salvage. Without the ability to reach the Normandy she would have to rely on the mindartians to help her. "What do your people do for credits Ghulya? Perhaps I can help."

"A clan never takes more than they need to survive. This...concept of credits is new to society. We do not harvest the land but instead harvest the tools off worlders bring with them."

"Ah. I see. Scavenging. Lucky for you I'm something of an expert." she replied as she thought of the best course of action. It wouldn't be pretty but it would be an easy source of credits. She could also likely repair things most people would throw away leading to even better gains from whatever they find. She would be right at home. Usually even the Normandy-

An idea came to her suddenly. While she was in no hurry to get back there the base they had decimated would have a great deal of things to recover from the battle. Stripping dead pirates of their equipment wasn't exactly her idea of a good time but if it meant going home any time soon she'd have to do it.

"Ghulya, can you take me to the oppressor's base? We can collect credits there."

"Dangerous. May not be many credits left. Humans have visited there. Possible to run into enemies." Ghulya paused for a moment and wiggled his eye stalks ever so slightly. "Ghulya will take the quarian Tali'Zorah anyway."

"Thank you."

"No thanks needed. Ghulya must ask the quarian Tali'Zorah for advice now."

"Me?" she blinked under her mask.

"Yes. The human Leslie has informed the quarian Tali'Zorah of the struggles of Planet. Ghulya wishes to hear advice from one who rides among the stars."

"I'll do my best Ghulya but please keep in mind that I am only offering advice."

"The people of Planet are easily beaten by oppressor aliens. Their homes and lives are at the mercy of cruel aliens. Ghulya's equipment alone took several planet cycles to purchase. Also there are few warriors for Ghulya to lead into battle. This cannot continue." he explained.

"There is only one path to take. The people must change. Adapt to the alien's ways. Ghulya knows that aliens take pieces of Planet for themselves for credits. On other planets the people 'tax' them. This is a new concept for the people. Without control of Planet they cannot 'tax' aliens for what they take. The people must control Planet to prosper."

"Okay...I agree so far Ghulya." Tali said cautiously. Leslie's warning about this conversation made her choose her words carefully.

"Change is required. Females of Planet do not fight. Honor and duty reserved for males only on Planet for millions of planet cycles. The people also fear that using an alien's tool will make them aliens as well. Ghulya cannot decide what to do. The people must change but at the cost of losing themselves. What good is fighting for the people's children's children if they do not recognize their ancestors?"

Tali immediately saw his plight. Quarians had faced many such trials as well since taking to the stars. It was much like the first time Shepard gave her a geth plasma shotgun to use. At first she was angry that he would even suggest such a thing but the weapon was undeniably effective. In the end she decided that it was foolish to give up a tool because of her own misgivings about where it came from. The situation was a microcosm of Ghulya's dilemma but entirely similar in nature.

"Why ask me Ghulya? You know your people better than me." she said.

"The quarian Tali'Zorah has seen other planets and things Ghulya cannot imagine. The quarian Tali'Zorah is a female yet fights as valiantly as any male and has wisdom none of the people do. Ghulya humbly begs to be told what is best."

The engineer had to think. Would he really change his society based on her advice? It was simply too hard of a decision to make on the spot. Too much pressure. "I...Ghulya I can't answer that right away. I have to give this more thought."

"Ghulya understands completely. When it is time to leave for the oppressor's base hopefully a conclusion will be reached."

"I hope so too." Tali said quietly.

* * *

><p>Two days had passed and my dour mood had yet to improve. Liara spent the rest of her short visit chewing me out in my cabin and lecturing me about the importance of keeping control. It was a lesson wasted on me; it was not that I couldn't reign myself in, I simply didn't want to.<p>

My door reacts to the presence of a visitor. Liara had left the day before and I'm not expecting someone in my cabin. If it isn't Garrus or a messenger with an extremely important message I'm about to be very, very annoyed. On the other hand if it was truly an emergency EDI would have notified me directly.

"Enter." I call out and the door hisses open. I can hear thumping, heavy bootsteps and I know it's Jack before she turns the corner. I'm a little tipsy but otherwise ready for her.

"Jack." I nod as she comes into view. I'm reclined on my couch and looking as nonchalant as possible with my wine glass held high in the air. Glaring at me she wordlessly sits on my couch and props her giant boots up on my table like a rude subordinate entering her superior's office.

"Make yourself comfortable." I gesture with my hand. "Try not to knock the Prothean relic off the table. It's just priceless and all that."

"This ball thing?" she said.

"Yes. The 'ball thing'."

"Is this like that time you yelled at me for asking why we were breaking into the vault you and the Japanese had already broken into?" she asked coarsely.

"We didn't have the time or the equipment to get those artifacts out of there the first time around." I recalled.

"Still don't get why you didn't just leave them where they were. You had to have a voice sample from a dead guy to get into that vault."

"Other people would have figured out a way in. Those pieces weren't just valuable Jack, they were irreplaceable. They had to be moved to Illium. They might have looked like a bunch of rocks to you but they're so much more than that." I explained.

The biotic shook her head. "I don't get you sometimes Commander."

"What? Why?"

"You're the only person - hell, the only thing period to have ever punched a Reaper in the face."

"Well it wasn't fully grown and I only did that to get its attention so Legion could line up a shot on-"

"And you still think it's important to save some crappy art pieces from some other bums that never did anything like that."

I take her casualness in stride. "What's your point Jack?"

"Sometimes you don't make any damn sense. Like how you spend all that time convincing me not to be controlled by my past. How I needed to be a team player. Now you're sitting in your cabin all day taking pity on yourself like a goddamn teenager that just got his hub access taken away."

"I'll assume you didn't mean that." I say with a warning tone.

"The hell I didn't." she snarled. "You always talk about trusting your squad mates and watching out for each other on and off the battlefield. Then you sneak out in a shuttle to hunt pirates and throw all that away. Where's the high and mighty Shepard that told me I'd never be free of my past if didn't let it go?"

"I don't need help killing scum." I grumble, starting to become incensed. "That was personal and it didn't have anything to do with the crew. I wasn't in any danger."

"That's a bad lie, even for you." she pointed her finger like a gun.

"I was fine." I asserted.

"Yeah? You invincible Shepard?"

"I'm sorry, do you know anyone else that used to be dead?"

"No, but I do know other people that are dead because the great Commander Shepard assumed everyone was unkillable like he is."

I crush the glass I was holding into a million pieces in a jolt of pure indignant rage. Jack looked taken aback for the slightest of moments which was something I didn't think I'd ever see. Not wasting the effect I'm on my feet in an instant. Jack is almost as quick to rise as I shout "You're crossing into dangerous territory Subject Zero!" with a finger pointed in her face.

"Good! Glad to hear I'm right at home!" she yelled back.

"You've got no right to lecture me! What the hell do you know about loss! I had someone worth fighting for and now she's gone!"

"And all you've done is be a little bitch about it instead of letting anyone help you!" She sneers with that maddening lip curl she'd perfected. My jaw drops. No one talks to me like that. No one that lives anyway.

"Ho-how _dare_ you!" I sputter.

"What are you going to do Shepard? Hit me? Go ahead, the first one's free!" Jack said as she turned her cheek towards me. For the briefest of seconds I consider it before realizing how wrong it would be and how that's not the true source of my frustration. I look down at my hand which is already healing itself from the cuts and bits of glass embedded into it. What was I doing? I calmly return to sitting on the edge of the couch as Jack continues to stand over me.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'd never hit you." I say as I begin to pick bits of glass out of my right hand. "Not that you didn't deserve it. That just isn't how I operate."

"Someone had to." Jack said as softly and with as much empathy as I'd ever heard from her. "Might as well be the only person on the ship that wouldn't think twice about smacking you around a little."

I snort at the idea. "Come on Jack, who are you trying to fool? I'd kick your ass back to Pragia if we threw down."

She rolled her eyes in mock fear and I smiled weakly. Looking down at the tiny rivulets of blood creeping down my palm I say, "What do you guys want from me? Everything was going so well. I made a mistake and it cost me Tali. Am I not allowed to be sad for a little while?"

"Of course you are. But we're your friends. Even if you don't want to get all touchy feely at least practice what you preach." she said. I open my mouth to say something in my defense but I shut it when I realize that she's right. I had done things wrong. It was unfair to hammer home the concept of a team and then abandon it when the worst happened.

"Fine. Fine. You're right Jack." I sigh while subconsciously looking her muscular body up and down. "Hah. How strange is this? Subject Zero giving me advice on my problems. Good advice to boot. If someone told me that was going to happen a month ago I would have laughed the blue off their ass."

Her confrontational stance softens and she takes a seat next to me. "You're kind of an asshole sometimes Commander." she said pleasantly.

"You're the ship's foremost expert Subject Zero."

"Call me that again and I'm going to knock your teeth out." she threatened. I had to grin for real this time. Order was restored to the universe as I was the one heckling her again.

"So your ex showed up pretty quickly huh." Jack noted.

"Hmm? Liara? She was just concerned. It's not what you think." I said and pondered the timeliness of the asari's arrival coupled with our past history for a moment. "It's probably not what you think."

"You don't sound so sure about that Shepard."

"The way things have been going for me I wouldn't be shocked." I shrug.

"You don't like bitches fighting over you?" Jack grinned.

"No, actually, it's not as fun as it sounds." I say and rub my temple with my good hand. "We've been through that already you and me. I wouldn't do that to you again. I respect you too much."

"I'll be fine, don't worry."

"Persistent bastard aren't you?"

"I learned from the best." Jack nodded but I wave her off.

"It's way too early for that kind of talk. Hopefully when and if I'm ready the situation will have resolved itself."

"Huh. You think so?" she asked.

"I don't know. Hopefully the Reapers will have killed me by then."

Jack laughs and puts a hand on my knee. "Good to see you're acting like your old self."

"Yeah..."

Leaning in a devious distance from my ear she said, "You know where to find me."

Rising the tattooed biotic strode confidently away as I tried to pretend that had not just happened. "Jack?" I called before she had left the room completely.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

She leaves. I spend a few minutes cleaning up the glass shards and bandaging my hand. It was time to heed the advice of my crew. Tomorrow I would get out and hit the gym.


	5. Alastor

The time had come for them to depart. Tali had spend the morning on her feet getting used to being upright again. She took a few practice shots with the heavy pistol that survived the fall just to make sure she was still sharp. While it was not nearly as hard hitting as her shotgun up close it was deadly accurate and would punch through the heaviest of armor. The cheap, poorly maintained gear the pirates favored might as well have been thick wood when it came to the piercing shots of a good pistol. The only thing she had to worry about was a reinforced battle mech like the YMIR. Every shot would have to count if one of those showed up.

Presenting himself just inside the door flap Ghulya waited while Leslie gave her a final once over. He was dressed in the females' brown colored robes instead of his usual attire for this day mission. The human was wearing the same dusty lab coat he never seemed to remove. It was funny how with this stage of development in the future everyone still seemed to always wear the same clothing every day.

"Everything looks good. How are you feeling?" Leslie asked.

"Better. Still a bit clogged but that's normal for a quarian." Tali answered.

"As your doctor I have to advise against this plan of yours. Lots of rest is what you need instead of trying to get shot up again."

"I'll keep that under consideration." she said light heartedly. "I'd rather be in bed another week too. But the sooner I get back to my ship the better."

The old physician smiled and extended his hand. It was a curious human custom to make physical contact with others. Any quarian would be revolted by the idea of bare handed contact with other species but Tali knew it would be extremely rude not to take it. She shook his hand with a firm but not too firm grip as Shepard had once instructed her to.

"Good luck miss Tali'Zorah. I hope I never have to work on you again."

"Yes, that would be nice." she agreed. "I am sure we will talk again Mr. Kale."

"Just Leslie, please. I don't need a Mr. to make me feel any older."

She smiled under her mask and turned to Ghulya. "Ma'am." he chirped and they left the hut together.

The buggy was a strange thing made mostly of a hardened resin of some sort that resembled hard plastic. It ran on solar batteries from Karnak's ample sunlight and was shaped like a leaf pod. The engine hummed at a strange frequency that sounded akin to flapping Collector wings. It was oddly quiet other than that curious sound and the trail they blazed through the sand made more of a racket. Grains pounded the ovular wind shield but they were well insulated from the elements. Her only complaint was that the buggy was clearly designed for mindartians and was very cramped for her relatively large frame.

Despite the discomfort the buggy was cool and it was easy to hear when Ghulya spoke. He did not often speak other than to inform her of the landmarks and sights of Karnak which Tali had to strain to see. They were nearly thirty minutes into their trip when the mindartian asked, "Ghulya wishes to know if the quarian Tali'Zorah has come to a decision about the earlier conversation."

"I uh...yes I believe I have." she answered.

"What is the conclusion?"

"It will be hard for you and your people Ghulya but you have the right idea. This is your planet and no one else's. You cannot allow an outside force to take your home from you. My people know this better than most. It's not too late for the mindartians."

"Understood. Please continue."

"It won't be easy. If traditions must be broken then so be it. Like you we learned that traditions and identity are important but should never get in the way of survival. You can respect your ancestors while at the same time making sure that their grandchildren live to do the same."

One of Ghulya's eyestalks turned away from the front of the buggy to look back at her before turning back to the road. They bumped up, down, and across the windswept dunes without speaking while Tali began to wonder if she had said something horribly rude to offend her companion.

"The quarian Tali'Zorah speaks wisdom." he said suddenly. "It is as Ghulya expected. There only needed to be consensus with ones with far greater knowledge. Change will come to the people. They only hope that one day the human Shepard will count the people as valuable allies."

"He would be honored to Ghulya."

They traveled for the better part of an hour in silence. Surrounded by the stark environment and almost quiet Tali had time to think. She wondered what the Normandy was doing at the moment and where it was. For sure it had already left the system if nothing else then to attend to business. There was a good chance they thought she had perished in the explosion. What would Shepard have done? What was he doing now? It plagued her more than anything to think that he was mourning her death when it had not yet in fact happened. She wished she could just talk to him for only a moment to let him know she was okay.

The quarian engineer was so lost in thought that she did not notice them coming up onto the base where she had nearly lost her life until Ghulya started to slow the buggy. Tali's stomach turned seeing that place again but she had to look. They circled around the outside walls and came upon the blast zone. A giant chunk of the ground and most of the building with it had seemingly be blown off the face of the planet. Seeing the damage first hand Tali was taken aback by the extent of the devastation. It was hard to believe she had survived the explosion...did everyone else? No, she could not think of that now. The mindartian pulled them up to a few dozens meters before the crater and Tali itched to get out.

"I'm going in Ghulya. Stay here and keep the engine running." she instructed. Lifting the thin windshield up she uncoiled herself and stepped out of the buggy. Taking a few moments to acclimate herself to the surroundings and to stretch cramped limbs she scanned the area for any movement. Pistol in hand she listened carefully as she approached the crater and what was left of the building. Peering around the only bit of wall still standing she saw a number of bodies almost completely buried by the sand. Steeling herself for the worst she picked her way over and scanned around before sifting through the remains.

Well preserved by the dry atmosphere and sand were the bodies of several pirates. Tali breathed easy as she did the hard and gruesome task of looking for valuable equipment. Unfortunately these pirates were not only badly charred but also previously looted by someone that arrived earlier. There might have been more inside but she had seen enough. Once a wreck or a battle site was discovered there was little chance it had not been picked clean already. Much like scavengers feasting on a carcass usually there is little left for late comers. Returning to the buggy she climbed inside and pulled down the hatch. Ghulya made one last pass around the walls before quickly turning and exiting the immediate area.

"Sorry Ghulya. Looks like someone beat us to it."

"Unfortunate." he clicked disapprovingly.

"Are there more bases in the area?"

"There are but the oppressors are heavily armed."

"Do you know where?"

"Yes. Why does the quarian Tali'Zorah wish to know this?"

"I want to see."

"Ma'am, that is a dangerous proposition. There will be look outs and guards before the base is even in sight."

"So we will be careful." she said.

If Ghulya objected to going he did not mention it as they sped through the sand. It was less than half an hour until they reached a mountainous area that narrowed into canyons. The whirling sands obscured the distance but as they moved closer the rocks crowded them further in. It was a natural choke point and Tali was not surprised when a small outpost came into view. Not much other than a squat building and a low wall for cover fire greeted them but it nevertheless would be unwise to attack. It was decorated in typical pirate fashion with bones and poor spatial planning but would still prevent them from getting any closer despite its aesthetic failures. Ready to turn back she squinted through the sand-rich winds and realized that not only was the small fortification unmanned it had taken damage.

"Do you see that Ghulya?"

"Yes ma'am. It appears that the oppressors have been attacked here as well."

"What? How do you know?"

"There." Ghulya pointed a claw to the left. Nearby the wall was a body of a pirate that she hadn't even seen.

"A rival gang?"

"No ma'am. The oppressors have consolidated their hold on the area for hundreds of kilometers. If there was a force capable of assaulting them directly Ghulya would have known about it."

Tali weighed their options but it was an exercise in ignoring her better judgement. No matter what the rational thing to do was her curiosity would get the better of her. "I have to go look Ghulya. There might be credits to recover."

"Ma'am, Ghulya must insist on not leaving the vehicle. There could be dozens of enemies just beyond here."

"I have to see Ghulya. Stay here and shout if you see anyone approaching."

"Ghulya cannot allow the quarian Tali'Zorah to go alone. Allow a few moments to hide the vehicle." the mindartian chirped worriedly. Turning fully around he pulled the buggy alongside the wall of the canyon some forty meters away. Tali kept her eyes on the outpost but there was no movement as they exited the buggy and stayed low. From his robes Ghulya produced no less than four modern, compact submachine guns. She understood now why it would be costly to arm the mindartians if each one could carry and fire multiple weapons at a time. It would be interesting to see how effective he had become with them.

Slowly approaching the outpost Tali kept her pistol up and ready to fire. It appeared to be abandoned save the half dozen dead pirates scattered about the area. They were fully armed and armored which meant no one had bothered taking their gear yet. This was about the most she could hope for at the moment. Picking her way past the dead she inspected the inside of the outpost. A large hole had been knocked through the side with another pirate corpse crumpled against the wall. There was little else save spare heat sinks and playing cards that would never be used again.

The quarian relaxed and she didn't realize how tense she was until her jaw unclenched itself. Holstering her pistol the mindartian too seemed to be relieved to not have anyone shooting at them. "Looks clear." she said.

"These aliens' arms are not yet reclaimed."

"Indeed. I saw four rifles and two hand guns. We're already a few thousand credits up if they're as good quality as they look. We'll need a bigger buggy."

"The clan will come in numbers to recover these items. Must focus on safety."

"Good thinking." Tali nodded. "Let's check out the main base."

"Ma'am-"

"There could be a fortune in there Ghulya. Exactly what I need to get home and exactly what you need to start arming your people. We owe it to ourselves to at least look. If we run into any resistance we'll leave immediately. Promise."

The mindartian stood still for a moment before dipping its eyestalks forward. Perplexed Tali was about to ask what he thought when Ghulya said, "Inside. Only a look."

Moving further into the canyon the path narrowed to barely fit a standard Citadel vehicle and twisted awkwardly enough to make one think twice about attempting to go through. Some sixty meters past the outpost the main base came into view. It had a near ten meter high wall of thick metal with sniping positions that were mercifully empty. The small gate leading inside had been blasted open and the smell of burning fuel hit her breathing holes.

Cautiously stepping through what was left of the gate the full base came into view. Fenced in the by the wall a large courtyard filled with cargo and raiding vehicles was in front of several buildings about three stories high. Each of the buildings had large antenna coming from them and looked old. Scattered among the courtyard was pilfered cargo and stolen property simply stacked in haphazard piles. There were dozens of places to take cover in the courtyard alone. This likely contributed to the scores of dead pirates littering every available patch of sand.

"Have the gods no mercy?" Ghulya clicked. Tali holstered her weapon and began to make her way towards the center building. In front of it was a small clearing with around ten dead pirates and two burnt out YMIR mechs with their torsos completely destroyed. Ghulya hunkered down by the machines and prodded the damage with a claw. Turning to a turian body he delicately cleared sand from its horrific injuries. Moving on they examined the burnt out mechs and what had destroyed them.

"Alien weapons did not make these wounds. Not holes. Crushing force. Inspect the machines." he said. "Gun holes here and here to weaken the area before a strike."

Tali had seen this many times. It was no mystery to her what had happened here. Few had the combat experience and capability to assault a battle mech directly like this. Fewer still specifically used that kind of tactic to weaken the structural integrity of a mech in one spot before hitting it directly. She had a hunch at the outpost when she saw the kinds of injuries inflicted on the pirates but now she was sure. Only one person she had ever even heard of fought this way. The good news was he was alive and well. The bad news for the pirates was that he was alive and well.

In front of the doors to the central building an impromptu defensive line had been set up. Clearly the men here did not expect to be attacked on their own turf. Broken, mutilated bodies lay against the barriers that made a feeble attempt to protect them. Hundreds of spent shells crunched under Tali's feet like a carpet of expired insects. The doors themselves had been taken off at the hinges and lay flattened on the ground. More dead were scattered just inside still clutching their weapons to them as if the guns themselves could physically protect them from harm.

"Who would do this?" Ghulya clicked. "These were evil oppressors true...but this is slaughter. Valuable were not even taken. Few were harmed by alien guns."

"He prefers to use his fists." Tali said. "Guns only come into play when he needs range or against the mechs."

"The quarian Tali'Zorah knows what party did this?"

She nodded gravely. "I would recognize his handiwork anywhere. If Shepard thought these men were responsible for my death he will not have left any survivors. To make it worse I think he was alone. I don't see any signs of other weapons being used."

"The human Shepard did this? Ghulya finds it hard to believe a lone human could overpower this many opponents."

"The most dangerous human you're likely to meet. This wasn't a planned attack that's for sure. There's no evidence that anyone else was here except him. That's good for us and bad for the oppressors."

"Bad how?"

"He's going to be very, very mad. Come on. Let's see if we can find a command center."

They waded through more dead pirates to get to the top floor where they found a last stand situation with the pirate leaders. Tali could tell from the quality of their armor and weapons compared to the rest. Another telling sign was how the bodies were incrementally cleaner than the rest of the pirates. It did not matter as they had met the same fate as their men all the same and one of them was missing three of his four limbs. The stench of the dead was almost overpowering and Tali was once again glad her suit's olfactory filters still worked.

Moving past them to the wall of offline security monitors Tali got to work booting them up. Powering the screens on she searched for and set the playback to days earlier when the base's alarms went off. At first there was only views of pirates getting cover and shouting at each other until the front gate exploded inward. In the span of a few seconds a multitude of gray objects were tossed into different points in the base and began pouring smoke into the air. The desert planet's strong winds whipped the growing smoke columns over a wide area and turned the courtyard into a hazy mess.

Charging through the smoke like a vengeful ghost a black armored Shepard dove headlong into terrified groups of pirates. The outlaws opened fire but the Spectre was everywhere at once utilizing biotic charges, slams and many grenades to keep them guessing at his position while he slaughtering everything he came into contact with. Swiftly demoralized and confused pirates fled into the building or attempted to leave the base but none escaped Shepard's wrath. They died by the dozen to an impassive, blank faced helmet that had never heard of the concept of mercy. While she had seen this many times Tali was most worried that her commander was alone.

"This human is a demon." Ghulya clicked nervously. "These oppressors never stood a chance."

Tali tore herself away from the monitor. She had seen enough. Looking around the command center her expert scavenger eyes identified many thing that could be taken away and resold. "There are tens of thousands of credits here Ghulya. I hope to only claim enough for passage off the planet."

"It will be so." Ghulya said. "It will take clan many cycles to completely reclaim everything here."

"Right. Our policy should be to take everything that isn't bolted down and then unbolt that as well. You'll make a fortune here."

"It seems the people are again in the quarian Tali'Zorah's debt. Ghulya will see to it that she is returned home safely as soon as possible."

At last! Tali thought. Her way home to the Normandy was only a matter of time now.


	6. Hephaestus

Port Moresby was Karnak's biggest and most important destination. Not particularly large, modern or even well designed it was a metallic oasis in the middle of the planet's endless sand. It was not beauty or wealth or refinement that attracted the visitors but simple necessity. It was the only commercial space port on the planet and by extension the entirety of the back water system. It also meant that in order to sell the scavenged goods Tali would have to head there to make the deals on the reclaimed weaponry.

By utilizing Leslie's connections in the port they were able to find buyers to offload their merchandise fairly quickly. The quarian had worked at a feverish rate to complete the necessary steps to get them ready for sale. The weapons had to be repaired, refit, thoroughly cleaned and made impossible to trace. This was something that Tali was simply an expert on and it was good to be working with modern technology again. She asked for and received enough repair equipment to do the job right.

The cheap, dirty weapons were polished and tweaked to deliver a bit more bang than factory standards. The pirates had taken miserable care of their equipment and had even thrown away perfectly good pieces in need of only minor repair. The few high quality models carried by the leaders were at least in better condition. Tali was able to clean them up and make them shine like display models at the finest Citadel distributor. These basic and easy tasks would make sure the guns commanded a decent price even on Karnak. That would allow the mindartians to begin arming themselves or at the very least place a number of custom orders.

While working on the guns the quarian was pestered by endless questions from the mindartians on how and what she was doing. She couldn't teach them advanced electronics but did her best to give them low tech options. Ghulya also insisted she take something to protect herself in addition to her hand gun. Though she politely refused at first the devious mindartian convinced her that she would need to look intimidating for the sale. Hesitant to take credits from her destitute allies Tali eventually relented and took a powerful shogun for herself. It was a bootleg of a Jormagund Technology, Savage model shotgun in fairly good condition. She was used to the unparalleled quality of the Spectre line or deadly accuracy of a geth plasma shotgun but this one would do for now.

It took Tali'Zorah two uncomfortable days in Ghulya's buggy to make it to relative civilization and another two hiding out in a garage to sell a large portion of the weapons they had recovered. It was a rude reminder of the kind of conditions her people toiled under out on pilgrimages. Had she become too used to the high society the Normandy afforded her? No matter. She knew where she came from.

The deal went smoothly with a number of female mindartians present and brandishing handguns they didn't know how to use. The two nervous buyers didn't need to know that the armed mindartian females were no threat and this way they would not seek to take advantage of them in the future. The human doctor made the deal while Tali looked on with her shotgun cradled in her lap. The fears of the buyer were dispelled when they viewed the merchandise and the credit transfer went without incident. Tali breathed a sigh of relief when the equipment was loaded up and the happy customers were on their way.

Things didn't seem so bad to the quarian genius at that moment. It would have been a relatively peaceful life settling here and helping the mindartians but it could not be so. There were more important things in the galaxy that demanded her attention. Not for one second did she forget where her proper place was. Even though the likelihood was small Tali had taken great care to wear cloth over her suit around Port Moresby. She could not afford to have anyone identifying her on this planet with the Boot gang's men keeping a close watch on everything going in and coming out.

She was still lost in her own thoughts when the human came over to her. "Your cut." Leslie said as he handed her the small electronic account. Around them the mindartians chirped to each other and packed for the long trip home.

"Thank you." Tali nodded and slipped the credit chit into her pocket.

"If you have any trouble you come find me you hear?" he demanded.

"I will. Do not worry Mr.- oh. Leslie, sorry. I can handle myself quite well."

"All right, all right, just don't go getting yourself blown up again. Doctor's orders."

"Hah!" she gave the slightest of smirks for the first time in weeks.

"Don't suppose I could convince you to stay on a bit?" he asked cautiously. "The mindartians could use someone like you. Someone with the tech know how to help them refit themselves."

"Ah..." Tali said as the question caught her off guard but not completely. "I would like to...but my place is on the Normandy."

"I know it is. Figured I'd ask anyway." he said as he gave a half-hearted semi-smile. "Tali'Zorah, it has been a pleasure. You have more than lived up to your reputation. Best of luck to you and your ship."

Extending his hand to the quarian Tali shook it precisely as she had been taught. "Thank you for saving my life. We'll be in touch."

"Good. Ghulya wants to talk to you. I'd better go help pack up." the kindly doctor said and wandered off to help carry boxes. Despite his brown robes Tali was able to recognize Ghulya coming up to her out of the crowd.

"Ghulya is heavy with regret that the quarian Tali'Zorah should leave. He knows it is her wish." he clicked and chirped. "He hopes that this gift will in some meager way show the gratitude of the people. Please take this."

From his robes he produced a smooth gray stone polished to a near mirror shine. Inscribed on it with the faintest of etching marks was, to her amazement, a faithful portrait of herself. It captured her entire helmet and even the burned parts on the top of her shoulder. It must have taken days to etch and perfect. She stupidly held open her hand as his clawed arm placed it reverently on her palm.

"It's...so beautiful Ghulya." she marveled. There were no modern tools at his camp and this stone had to have been hand - claw - carved.

"Ghulya hopes that the quarian people will continue to help his. Much the people have to learn. They are willing to learn from the masked ones from the stars."

Bending down to his eye stalks she said, "I promise I will help you one way or the other."

The little mindartian stayed frozen still before scurrying away without another word. Tali laughed to herself and straightened up. "Well that was odd!" she said aloud. Waving her final goodbyes she hoped they would all be well before exiting the garage.

The city was hostile ground and the quarian kept her cloth wrapped tightly around her. It was likely the planet didn't have many of her kind and that alone would gain her unwanted attention. Paying for a room at a sleazy hotel near the edge of the sand-caked city she hoped to not need it for very long. Keeping her head down but eyes alert Tali set out for the space port. With three thousand credits in her pocket and many more on the way for her friends she felt that it was high time to book passage for herself.

It turned out to not be so simple as she argued with what amounted to a galactic travel agent. "What do you mean the next ship comes in four months!" Tali practically screamed at the rep behind the desk.

"I'm sorry!" the frail looking human woman said. "This is the best I can do right now. We don't get a lot of traffic during the summer season." Pausing a moment she then added, "Actually, we don't get a lot of traffic period."

"Great!" Tali threw up her hands. "Who else does travel arrangements on this rock?"

"Ah...we are the only civilian service offered here...if you'd like to make a payment..."

"Bosh'tet!" she cursed. "I'll be back! Maybe!" The quarian stormed away from the booth and further into the port where ships were docked. In a foul mood she walked just to clear her thoughts and had to force herself to look around. It was the smallest such operation Tali had ever seen but perhaps being around the ships would make her feel better. While she noted the features of the different space craft she debated the dangers of trying to access the extranet terminal in Port Moresby. Leslie had warned her that it was tightly controlled and watched around the clock by the Boot gang. Maybe their recent troubles changed that? There was no way to know for sure without going in there and she was by herself. Shepard always told her that fighting in a small space was a good way to be shot in the back.

Distracting herself she looked up at the ceiling of the port. High cranes and docking platforms a hundred meters up could support smaller ships but one the size of the Normandy likely couldn't even touch down. Without the weightless vacuum of space the logistics of housing spacecraft were much more complicated. She tried to think of how she would get the Normandy in here but was killing time not facing the ugly truth of her situation. Four months on Karnak! The city was crawling with Boot gang scum and who knows if her luck would last that long. Getting into a firefight wasn't the problem so much as alerting them to her presence was. True they had lost many men but the gang's grip on the planet was tight and far reaching. There had to be another way. If only one of these ships-

Suddenly Tali had an idea and made an about face to quickly walk back to the booth with the scared human in it. Immediately the rep tensed up as Tali approached. "Hi. I'm sorry about earlier. I have a question."

"What can I do for you ma'am?" she human said meekly.

"What ships are leaving port in the next four months?"

"Uh...I wouldn't have access to that information. The port master's office handles all incoming traffic, I only handle Star Ocean Liners-"

"Where's the port master?"

"Um...the office is at the end of this building. I think?"

"Ach! Thanks, you've been a big help." Tali said and walked away from the booth again in a huff. Wandering around the seemingly empty port authority buildings she finally located the office she was looking for. She had actually passed it once but it had no signs or any outward indication of what was inside. Only by sticking her head in the door did she find herself in the right spot with the right volus she needed to see. Buried under a mountain of paperwork cluttering his desk and the floor around him the small volus breathed laboriously behind his mask.

"Who, schttffff!, are you?" he asked.

"An annoyed traveler. I need information about the ships leaving Karnak." Tali said.

"We don't handle-"

"I just need to know the next two or three ships leaving the port." Tali interrupted.

"We don't schttfffff! release that kind of information to the public-"

"Mister volus." Tali interjected again. "I don't want to take up much of your time. It is quite a simple request and I would be happy to pay handsomely for it. Unofficially of course. A few moments and we can both go our own ways."

"Now see here! Schttffff! I don't know who you think you are but that information is-"

"Mister volus, we can do this the hard way or the easy way." Tali said. Shepard did this kind of thing all the time and it worked. She could seem tough right? It couldn't have been that difficult. "I can ask you nicely again or things can get ugly. Let's not make things get ugly."

"The local constable-"

"Is easily bribed. I looked into it." she lied. "The Boot gang controls things around here. Do you want to get on their bad side or can we just settle this here and now?"

Tali didn't like playing the bad guy but she didn't have many options. Reaching behind her she pulled her shotgun free and let it telescope out at her side. The volus' yellow eye discs nervously glanced back and forth between her and his terminal before he rapidly tapped out a peaceful solution. "Th-the next ship due out is the scchtfff! _Merovingian_. It is supposedly Omega bound."

Tali was nearly as relieved as he was that it hadn't come to anything drastic. "Where's it docked?"

"You're, schttffff!, crazy! No one just walks onto a ship going there. You schtttfff! won't get a hundred meters within that ship without being shot."

"Dock?" she repeated.

"13-16...are...are we done here?"

"I think so. Thank you Mister Volus."

"Puh...pleasure."

With a small sigh under her mask Tali skipped out of the office. Already her mind was devising a plan to get her onto that ship and more importantly to get her safely off of it. It would take significantly more credits to buy her way on what was likely a pirate fighter and there was no guarantee they wouldn't just kill her and take the credits anyway. She needed a way to make them keep their promises without name dropping Shepard. That would certainly not be good for her immediate health and being taken hostage would be terribly demeaning. By the time she located the _Merovingian_ her options narrowed down to just one choice.

The ship was a short, haphazardly designed thing that nevertheless was bristling with weapons. Dark green in color it had seen much abuse and had more scratches in its surface than she could count. While probably effective it was nothing like the Normandy but well armed enough to attack merchant ships. She didn't expect its crew to be any different and she would have to be exceptionally careful dealing with them. Spotting a small group of the crew standing underneath the hull talking Tali took a few breaths to steady herself. Her shield was up and her shotgun just inside her robes. Purposefully she approached the ship.

"Check this out." one of them said as she came upon them. Three humans and a turian. If they became belligerent the turian would die first. His armor looked the thinnest.

"Private property. Get lost." a human with his face covered in tattoos said before she even reached them.

"I'm an associate of Aria T'loak." Tali said. "I want to talk to your captain about making arrangements."

"Who the hell are you supposed to be?" the same human asked with a menacing face. "You have any idea who you're talking to?"

"I have business to discuss with your captain." she repeated. "If he wants to be in Aria's favor I'd suggest you get him down here."

"You got nerve lady-" the human said and walked towards her. Before he could finish the sentence Tali whipped the shotgun up and it expanded forward to almost strike the human in the face.

"One more step and I start with you." she told him and the pirate froze in shock. The other two humans had heavy pistols on her in a half a second but the lone turian remained calm as he watched her. Tali kept her eyes on her quivering target and the other two humans anxiously waited for her to make a move. No one dared breathe except for the turian who seemed rather nonchalant about the entire scene.

"I'll give you credit for having a quad." the turian finally said. "But the captain doesn't waste his time with random people asking for him."

"Tell him he stands to make money and do a favor for the most powerful businesswoman in Omega. I'd like to think that's at least worth hearing me out." Tali said with her trigger finger twitching. Her eyes were locked onto the pirate in front of her and if there were sudden movements she would start shooting.

The turian stared her down but relented. "All right. We'll see what he has to say. Don't think I won't be mentioning how you pulled a gun on us."

"Be my guest." Tali said.

"Weapons down boys." the turian said. Grudgingly the pirates lowered their pistols and Tali took her shotgun out of third sweating face. The frightened man let out a pent up shudder and quickly retreated back with his comrades while Tali kept her gun at her side. They kept their pistols out and chests puffed while the tattooed one did he best not to be noticed. The turian had turned away and put a hand to his ear as he spoke. "Boss? Some crazy quarian out here with a shotgun in Rad's face asking to talk to you. Yeah. No. Yeah. Says she wants to set up a deal with Aria and that there's something in it for us. Yeah. Really? Okay."

He turned back to them and waved off the humans. "Get lost boys. You, come on in. Keep that piece holstered and we won't have any problems."

"Likewise. Make sure no one makes sudden moves towards me and I won't have to kill any of your friends." Tali said and put her gun away. The turian eyed the departing humans before motioning her to follow him up the ramp into the ship. She didn't know if this was going to work but it her choices were to deal with these ruffians or the much more numerous Boot variety. At least if she was attacked here she might be able to take over the ship herself.

The interior of the ship had seen better days and matched the rough outside to perfection. It was much more crowded than the Normandy and ill kept but Tali had ridden on worse. She was led into a central room on the ship where an ugly, older human sat surrounded by a half dozen of his ugliest, most fragrant crew. He was dirty and had human face hair hanging grotesquely from his chin in thick, knotty clumps. The quarian did her best not to look disgusted and threw her back up plan to take over the ship out of the window.

"Quarian eh? Don't get many of them around here. Where are you from, girly?" the captain asked. When Tali didn't answer he went on, "Can't imagine you know Aria."

"I know her." Tali said impatiently. "Get her on a link. I will negotiate with her directly and in private. You will be well compensated for you assistance."

"Yeah? How much?"

"That's for her to decide. I'll be back in an hour if we have a deal."

"That so? Who should I say is setting this deal up?"

"I work for the man in black. She will know who I am."

With a hand on her gun Tali exited the _Merovingian _as quickly as possible without looking like she was fleeing. Brushing by the men stationed outside the ship the engineer briskly exited the area and merged into the city. Looking for the most discrete location possible she found a somewhat obscure diner nearby to relax in for an hour. It wasn't particularly full or well staffed and she chose a booth in the corner to kill time in. Too nervous to eat Tali could only keep down some cheap tea. It was impossible not to imagine a hundred different ways the pirates could try to double cross her. Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to leave the planet in such haste. She could still cancel the whole thing and hide out for a few months.

The seconds ticked by agonizingly slow as she remained outwardly disinterested in her food while watching the front door. Ten minutes before her interminable hour was up a few unsavory characters entered the cafe and began harassing the salarian bartender. It was a harsh reminder that she was not entirely safe on Karnak and she decided the option to leave earlier had to at least be explored. There was no telling if she could trust Omega's de facto ruler to keep any part of her bargain even if a deal was made. As always though Shepard was her ace in the hole. As long as he could be counted on to provide impending doom to anyone who would harm her she was relatively safe.

Loathe to leave or to stay Tali psyched herself up and headed back the way she came. Entering the port she kept especially alert for anything strange near the _Merovingian_ as she approached. With a hand resting on her shotgun Tali was determined not to die at the hands of common criminals especially since she knew for a fact Shepard was alive. They had been through so much together for her to go out on some little known planet in the middle of nowhere. It had been her almost back to back with a geth sniper of all things that had helped Shepard put down an embryo Reaper. It would be beneath her to die here and now.

The turian she spoke to earlier was waiting at the ramp for her. Holding up a hand as she approached he said, "You can relax. Aria is on the link. No need for threats."

"I'll relax when I'm safely home and our business is finished." she said. "After you." she motioned.

"Fine." he said curtly and led her back to the room she originally visited. Instead of a number of dirty pirates there was only the dirty pirate captain and a monitor with the asari outlaw queen looking onward from her nightclub in Omega. Reclining on her couch Aria looked bemused by the entire situation. The asari's blue face could have been pretty if not for her permanent scowl that invalidated any kind of positive emotion. The lines on her face told of hard centuries long since past and warned not to cross her.

"One hour on the mark." the captain shook his head. "Quarians."

"You're excused Captain." Aria said and the pirate glared at the monitor before sulking out of the room. Tali watched him go and waited for the door to shut before letting her guard down. It took a few seconds for Aria to speak again given the distances involved with their conversation and the necessary delay.

"You've got some nerve calling me, quarian." Aria grinned demonically. "I thought this was a joke at first. My day just became slightly less boring than it was before."

"I want to make a deal." Tali said. "Get me on this ship to Omega and from there back to the Citadel or Illium."

"To make a deal you have to have something I want." Aria smiled without a hint of mirth. The lights of Afterlife played on her features like the shifting luminescence of a hanar. The few seconds of delay gave Tali the time to reflect on exactly how dangerous of an individual she was consorting with.

"Shepard will work out the credits." Tali decreed. "We've done favors for each other in the past. We are prepared to compensate you very well for this minor favor."

"I don't consider it minor and credits don't interest me." Aria said with a dismissing flick of her wrist. "You and your friends have been cleaning out my competitors and allies alike. Why should I help you?"

Tali had to think for a moment before coming up with an answer. Fortunately her mask hid any telling facial clues to her lack of preparation for this kind of negotiating. "You run Omega. The Normandy rarely visits there and we don't attack any of your local holdings. If we attack other groups you don't control doesn't that make your position stronger?"

The asari thought for a long few seconds behind cold, calculating eyes. "True. But as I said, credits aren't good enough. If you want my help then I want Shepard to fight for me when I call him. That's my offer."

This was not what Tali expected at all. Normally criminals were easily swayed by promises of wealth. How could she sign Shepard up for something like this? Would he even do it? The quarian realized she was in a bit over her head and almost canceled the deal right then. Thinking furiously she came up with a set of conditions in case the asari tried to get Shepard involved with something he didn't want to. It might not have been foolproof but it would have to do.

"Okay." she began. "On the condition we only fight those we would fight anyway. We won't be your hit men."

With her thoughts aligned she then continued after pausing just enough for effect. "Shepard has the right to refuse if you try to set us up against innocent people. And you don't get the Normandy, only Shepard, me and one crew member of our choosing. That should be more than enough."

Sitting back Aria reached for a glowing blue drink while deliberating the pros and cons of the deal. "You drive a hard bargain quarian. That's not what I expected but it'll work for my purposes. You've got a deal."

"Good. Be sure to tell the captain to have his men leave me alone so I don't have to shoot any of them." Tali said and was mildly proud of herself for not sounding overly relieved.

"Hmph. You're awfully trusting in pirates considering how many you've laid to rest." Aria commented.

Tali shrugged. "I'm not worried too much about my safety." she lied.

"Oh? Why is that?"

"Something happens to me and you're all as good as dead. I trust your sense of self preservation more than your morals."

Aria laughed with her patented lack of genuine joy. "That's good. Though I doubt even your friend would dare attack me on my home turf."

"You'd be wrong." Tali said as indifferently as she could force herself.

"I am Omega. I was a commando before your race was kicked off it's own planet by its own creations. I've outlived a hundred like you." Aria reminded her.

"Sovereign was a Reaper. Saren was a Spectre. The Collectors were Protheans armed by Reapers. Shepard and I have brought them all down. I don't see your point."

Aria laughed again but her in her eyes there was no laughter. "One more thing." Tali added. "Send a message to Shepard, please. I'm sure he'd like to know I'm alive."

"All right. You amuse me quarian. Perhaps after this we can do more mutually beneficial business."

Tali certainly hoped that would never be the case but nodded anyway.

* * *

><p>Yeoman Kelly Chambers had the unenviable task of sorting her commander's incoming messages via extranet. It required skimming through the mass of mail he was sent on a daily basis and picking out key ones that were not ID tagged to go straight through to his personal terminal. Some contacts were important enough to not need review. When one from Aria T'loak arrived she simply sent it ahead for the commander. She did not think that he would not be reading them and moved on to the next message without so much as a thought.<p> 


	7. Adrastea

The terminal's glow seems to sink into my brain as I tap on and expand the list of mail that should have been read hours, days or weeks ago. I'm in the midst of forcing myself to get back into the swing of things. Instead of hitting the wine with extreme prejudice I'm cutting down to one bottle a day. With my increased sobriety I'm doing boring activities like catching up on my sizable backlog of mail. As it turned out I'd missed a number of important messages though they can't have been that important since the ship was still in one piece.

Flipping through the high priority folder I came across a name I did not expect. Apparently I'd received a message almost a week ago from Aria T'loak. It was unusual for her to contact me out of the blue so I imagine it must have been urgent. Hoping it was still relevant it opened the message to read:

Shepard. I have good news. Our mutual quarian friend is alive and well. Contact me for details.

"Hmm." I murmured. I had no idea which quarian she meant as I knew several in the Omega area at one point or another. Perhaps it was that young mechanic I'd helped a long time ago? Setting aside my conjectures I put in a call to Afterlife. With the Normandy's powerful comm systems the delay should be so minute that it would go unnoticed.

"Shepard." Aria's voice filled my office but not my screen. She's chosen to relay audio only but that is just fine for a quick chat.

"Greetings." I say as I settle into my chair. "My apologies for not returning your message earlier. There was a comet heading for a Thorian creeper and then I had to investigate a crash site right in the middle of some calibrations, you get the idea."

"Of course." she said with that oily smoothness. The thumping beat of her nightclub came through at a low hum and I resisted the urge to dance. "So that message I sent. As it turns out it was the result of some bad information." she said.

"Really?" I ask. Usually her information was solid but then again sometimes things slip through the cracks.

"I was led to believe one of the locals worked for you and he tried to sell me some bad electronics. He had to sell in a hurry of course as your enemies were closing in on him."

"Silly of him to think that would work."

"Yes, well, he has been dealt with. It seems your popularity with the Flotilla types makes them think they can use your name for profit."

"I see." I say though that doesn't sound like something a quarian would do.

"I've wasted your time. Allow me to make up for it." Aria suggested.

"Nonsense." I wave my hand dismissively before realizing she couldn't see me. "You were duped and a simple call cleared things up. I appreciate you looking out for what very well may have been my people."

"Of course. Aria out."

The feed cut and I found myself wondering if I had gotten the full story just now. Something was off that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Whatever it was I had other matters to attend to but I made a mental note to look into it. In the meantime I had more messages to reply to.

* * *

><p>On Omega the pirate queen sighed as the call ended. This was a delicate matter and she regret becoming involved with it at all.<p>

"You think he bought it?" her batarian adjutant asked.

"You'd better pray that he did." Aria snapped. "Now find me that damn quarian before he shows up here and starts blowing things up!"

* * *

><p>Flying along in cold space the Normandy comes into view. I'm alone in the cabin that would normally be filled with soldiers getting ready for a combat drop or just coming back from a hot zone. Overseeing political machinations was never something I saw myself doing when I joined the Alliance years ago but then again I'd done a lot of things I never thought were even possible back then. As much as I'd rather be out fighting these treaties had to be signed. Every man, woman, child, human, alien, geth, and anything in between had a stake in the upcoming struggle against the Reapers. The more I kept out of pointless wars the better.<p>

Of course some I wanted to save more than others. Weeks fell off the calender too quickly and things drew closer to coming to an end for Thane Krios. I'd watched him carefully the last couple of months and though he never complained about the pain he was in I knew it was ever present. He asked me once if I would be okay when he passed on and I answered yes quite truthfully. Though I had learned much from Thane and counted him among my friends I had a year to come to terms with his illness. I was determined to make sure his passing would be a celebration with the ones who knew him best instead of a sad procession of well wishers whose wishes never came true.

I had almost forgotten how unpleasant it was to be flying all alone. I didn't like to be stuck on a transport as that meant I had abundant time to think. It wasn't all bad lately I had to admit to myself. Things were running more smoothly these days. The Iwo Jima was coming along nicely and I've begun training Garrus for the rigors of commanding a full ship. His biggest problem was giving himself far too much to do. He could use a small squad like a scalpel in the hands of a skilled brain surgeon but he had never commanded dozens of subordinates all at once.

The shuttle docks with the Normandy and I gladly climb out. Night hours have taken effect on the ship so at the very least I won't have to fight my way past anyone wanting to talk. I'd had enough of that for one long day. Working out a treaty between the three major mining corporations on Bovis Tor in the Shrike Abyssal was nearly as wordy as it was cutthroat. If I had a credit for every time I had to straighten out a mess involving credits I'd be richer than the Illusive Man by now. Then again if people could get along in the first place all I'd have to do is point them at the Reapers and say, "Go!"

Walking up to the elevator I realize I hadn't spoken to Jack in some time and make a detour downstairs. I'm surprised to find her cot empty and the biotic nowhere in sight. If there was anyone on the ship that I could always find in the same spot it was the cranky Subject Zero. Heading back up the steps I stop for a moment in front of the elevator. To my right was the room Grunt used to stay in that was now just storage. Ahead and to the left is where my quarian used to tip-tap on her console. Upstairs is where Miranda's office used to be and soon the life support room would be empty as well.

I hit the call button in front of me as I cease my day dreaming. Get a grip old boy. You have responsibilities to attend to. Stepping onto the elevator I skip checking in on the bridge and head directly to my cabin. Impatiently heading into my office I intended to get a stiff drink when I feel something is wrong. The hair on the back of my neck stands on end and my biotics begin to amp up due to the physiological feedback from my increased caution. The cabin appears empty but I learned long ago to trust my instincts.

Fairly jumping down into my living area ready to fight I find Jack making herself at home on my couch. Sighing I unclench my fists and my heart rate returns to normal as I cross my arms in front of her. She has her feet up on my table and a bottle of my Earth wine in her hand. She's almost fully horizontal as she stretches out on my couch like she was invited.

"Commander, sir." she mock saluted with her free hand.

"Jack." I say tersely. "I don't know who started this trend of people strolling in her whenever they please but the next time I find someone in my cabin without permission I'm kicking them out of an airlock." The biotic twirled her finger in nonchalance and I considered tugging her in the air with my own modifications just to see the look on her face.

"I can get over you coming in here. I can get over you drinking my wine which is not easy to get." I say as I step forward by her legs. Leaning down to almost eye level I say a bit more forcefully, "But how many goddamn times do I have to tell you to keep your dirty boots off my fuckin' table!?"

Raising her perfectly plucked eyebrows Jack nevertheless put her feet down. "You're wound a little tight Shepard." she said and offered me the bottle. Snatching it from her I see that it's half empty and the mouth was covered in lipstick. I could never figure out where she got her hands on a constantly supply of make up but I was sure it would be comical seeing her shop for it. I always got a kick out of the thought of her doing anything even remotely feminine but she made sure no one ever saw it happen.

Sitting down next to her I stuff the cork back in the bottle and say, "I actually stopped at your hidey hole before coming up. Can't remember the last time you were wandering around the ship instead of staying put."

"I came to check on you for once-ss." she slurred just slightly. "Plus my shrink said I have things to work out with you, whatever that means."

In my irritable state my first reaction was to needle Jack about her therapy but this wasn't a great idea no matter the occasion. It had taken months of insistence and abuse of her feelings for me to get her to even try seeing a professional in the first place. Saving my sarcasm for a later day I say, "You know me Jack. I'm always here to help."

"Yeah, well, I don't listen to most of what she says anyway." she said dismissively though I knew that wasn't entirely true. "But I did hear something that made sense. All you do is take and I get nothing in return for all the stuff I do for you."

"Eh? Stuff? I thought you liked doing missions for the fun of it."

"No, well, yeah a little, but not just that."

"What else do you do then?" I ask out of genuine curiosity.

"Lots. Going to to this stupid shrink in the first place, following rules, not killing your people for staring at me, not killing your people for bothering me, not killing your people for existing, not blowing up different parts of the ship to see what happens to the other parts, not planting a bomb on your ex's ship when she visits, not smashing the ship's AI to pieces so I don't have to hear that stupid voice ever again, not punching Mordin unconscious when he comments on my appearance, not punching the rest of Garrus' face off when he tries to be my friend." she rattled off in impressive fashion.

"You know, I'm sensing a pattern here Jack but I stand corrected. You do quite a bit for me. Well...more not doing than doing but all appreciated anyhow." I say. "Now, what can I do to make you feel like we're on even terms?"

"You can start by taking my top off." she said so casually that I almost thought she was joking.

"Jack..."

"Don't 'Jack...' me, Shepard. I think you've had enough time to yourself by now."

"So you're telling me how to feel now?" I ask.

Sitting up she swings her legs onto my lap and leans her face to within a third of a meter or so of mine. Reaching over to my chin she forcibly angles my face down at her knowing full well that I've killed for less. "Tell me that you don't want me and I'll never come back."

There's no lying to Jack as I had learned the hard way much earlier. Since I'm stuck I use the moment to study her features. Full lips, dark eyes, straight eyebrows with a couple of lines shaved into the left one. Even if one did not care for the rest of her there was no denying that Jack was quite attractive. Maybe it was our shared killer nature but there was little I didn't like about the rough around the edges Subject Zero.

"I'm waiting Shepard." she sneered.

"Wait then."

"What's your problem?" Jack complained.

"I have an anti-authority complex. People telling me what to do gets old."

"Typical Shepard." she scoffed. "Saying one thing and doing the opposite. You're the one that needs a damn shrink to learn how to stop being a crybaby." She was starting to become incensed judging by her tone and rising verbal jabs. I had to remain calm this time or we'd end up shouting at each other again.

"It's called 'mourning' Jack. I know tact isn't high on your list of priorities but you could use some right about now."

"You're so full of it."

Despite my intention to stay neutral I feel my blood beginning to boil. She has a knack for getting me riled up when I dont' want to. "Typical Subject Zero. Can't figure out what's really going on so she goes into attack mode."

"This coming from the guy who would rather pout about his dead alien girlfriend then deal with people who are alive. And I have problems." she rolled her eyes.

"So that's how it is? Do you like getting a rise out of me?" I ask.

"I call it like I see it. I see someone that doesn't want to move on and does stupid shit like this on purpose so he can keep himself miserable."

"You're taking shots in the dark Jack and you're not even close."

"Yeah? Explain to me what's really going on then."

"I still dream about her, all right!?" I shout. "You don't think I want to be done with this already!? I'm trying not to think about it and every one on this damn ship keeps asking how I'm doing and treating me like a child! Drives me crazy."

Jack is silent for once and I continue more softly, "I'm dealing with it as fast as I can. I wish people would realize that. I'm not a robot, I'm not a super man that can snap through the stages of grief in ten minutes. I was going to build her a house on Rannoch. You know what it's like to have to throw that dream away?"

Then Jack did something I didn't expect. She held my hand like I would hers when I came to see her below decks and she was feeling overly lonely. The will to fight drains from me and I'm just back to being irritated. "I don't know what you're worried about Jack. You got what you wanted. Something happened to Tali. And you're the only one left on the list. So just...not die for a bit, okay?"

I waited for some kind of sarcastic comment but Jack must have been feeling generous. When the seconds ticked by with nothing but her staring at me had to say, "What?"

"Only one on the list huh? What about that pureblood skeeze that keeps coming around?"

I laugh at the fact that she couldn't go more than a few minutes without some kind of uncouth comment. "You're too much. I told you already that we agreed to be friends a long time ago. She's never brought it up since and we talk nothing but business when she's here. You're being paranoid."

"Yeah, we'll see."

We sit in a quiet few moments where I don't quite know what to say. Clearing my throat I begin, "Sooooo..."

"So." Subject Zero agrees.

"You want to play Galaxy of Fantasy?"

"Video games are for nerds, Shepard."

"You watch your mouth. How about a movie then?"

"Which one?"

"_Blasto Saves Christmas_?"

"Yeah, okay."

* * *

><p>Currently Tali'Zorah vas Normandy was absolutely, positively the most angry quarian alive. Trapped in a ten by ten cell with an automatic food paste dispenser she spent the better part of her days spitting mad. The pirates had betrayed her and wisely chose to flood her room with sleeping gas instead of engaging her directly. She remembered attempting to filter out the gas but had already breathed too much of it in. One moment she was on the Merovingian and the next she was in this cage wherever it might be.<p>

Something was for sure: there would be hell to pay when she got out of here. She spent much of her time daydreaming about what she was going to do to Aria.


	8. Theia

Dressed in my finest livery I head into the gigantic tower with Jack in tow. She is decked out in black leather and visor-like shades as we cross the extravagant, hundred foot high lobby with a tiny asari leading us. Up ahead there's a shark in a gray suit named Stellatio whose building and hospitality we've been invited to. Head of a mid-sized but ruthlessly expanding arms company he's currently interested in assisting with the Iwo Jima fund. I wasn't keen on corporate sponsors but he had something other than money that I wanted and here we were in volus space to talk to him.

"Commander Shepard!" he offered a warm handshake. "Weclome to Lahu. I hope your trip was pleasant."

"Can't complain, I'll keep you updated though."

"And who is your associate?"

"My bodyguard."

"How do you do? President Aaron Stellatio." the businessman said as he extended a hand to an indifferent Jack.

"She doesn't shake." I explain and he retracts his arm.

"Fair enough. Right this way please."

Following behind him we're led to a grand set of five elevators firing up and down like bullets. In front of them is an impressive security check point and the guards are packing some serious heat. "Lots of firepower. Would expect no less." I comment.

"This business can be outright war sometimes." Stellatio said sadly. "Unfortunately not everyone shares you forward thinking mind set."

"A pity."

Coming to the checkpoint he turned to gesture to a drop box. "I'm sorry Commander but we have a strict no weapons policy on corporate property. I'm sure you understand."

"Of course," I nod. "If you would."

Jack looks at me before glaring hatefully at the president. Unloading a shotgun, two heavy pistols, four knives, a couple of grenades and a bevy of thermal clips into the box she isn't happy about it. "I don't think your friend brought enough hardware to our meeting." the older man joked.

"I tried to explain, but women, you know?" I smile. Stellatio laughs but Jack stares at him until the mirth dies in his throat.

"Ahem. Right this way."

We enter an expensive glass elevator done in classical Earth style. A couple of fresh Earth plants provide a gentle aroma and must have cost a pretty fortune to keep fresh. "I've been looking forward to meeting you for some time, Commander." Stellatio beamed. "You honor our humble establishment with your visit."

"Nonsense." I wave my hand. "We're all in this together."

Rapidly ascending to the top floor we exit to the rooftop patio. The full sun of Lahu's afternoon light shined down on dozens of umbrella topped tables and chairs set out to make a relaxing meeting area. Windshields have been put in place for the planets occasional whipping storms but today they would be a non-factor. "Place to ourselves." I say and the president only smiles. Taking a stroll from the elevators to the opposite side of the building where it ended in a safety railing I lean on it and look out over at the surrounding sky scrapers. There are three, one ahead of me and two more to the left and right of varying heights.

Jack leans on the railing with me and behind us Stellatio stands about three meters away. Turning around I rest my back on the railing and say, "So, what kind of deal can the Iwo Jima Foundation work out with Trellis Co?"

"Come now, Commander. Did you really think I would be interested in your bleeding heart vanity project?" Stellatio asked without an ounce of humor.

"Pardon me?"

"Did you think we wouldn't find out?" the president asked and his demeanor had shifted considerably in the last few seconds. "Did you think you were that careful that you could waltz into my building and ask for funding after what you did?"

"Was worth a shot." I shrug.

"Where's the prototype?"

"On my ship, in the lab."

"Why'd you steal it?" he demanded.

"A gun that detonates thermal clips? Sounds like a useful item to me."

"Not just detonate." Stellatio corrected. "It turns them into small bombs that will kill whoever is carrying them."

"With the right settings it can simply render the clips inert." I point out.

"Pacifist bullshit." he spat. "I want that gun back."

"Well dur." I mock. "Too bad you violated about a dozen laws to make it or you could have just had me arrested."

"Arrested? You think I would arrest you?" he chuckled. "Deploy."

From out of hiding came dozens of armored mercs from the other side of the patio. The took up positions overlooking where we were standing by the score and moved to form a rough semi circle to fence us in. I hadn't noticed that the patio was actually set up well for a fire fight. This was likely no accident. The only exit was a jump over the edge of the sky scraper that was a dangerous proposition with the air traffic flowing around the downtown area.

"Hmmm. More of them than I was expecting." I observe.

"Your reputation precedes you, Commander." Stellatio said with oily charm. "The elevators have been locked and the next three floors are filled with my men dug in to their positions. Surrender peaceably and we can work out a deal."

"Nah." I shake my head. "I have a better deal. Your gun, it doesn't work. We need the other half of the research data you split up. I want the rest of it."

The human laughed jovially at the thought. "A counter offer! And what do you offer for this ridiculous request?"

"Well for starters, it would keep me from ripping your spine out of your body while you're still alive." I suggest.

The mirth on his face vanished and Stellatio said, "Make a move at me and they open fire."

Reaching up to my ear I say, "Reach Team...shoot...that." I point at the nearest umbrella. From one of the adjacent buildings a soft pat! of a sniper rifle was heard just before the metal pole holding the umbrella up was cracked in half by a single slug. It fell almost in slow motion and Stellatio's face drained of color.

"Good shot, Garrus." I compliment without need to know who fired.

"What!?" the president stammered.

"Did you think I would come here alone when you've hidden two hundred, well, more than two hundred now, mercs waiting around the last three days? I want that data."

"You touch me and you'll never get it. I'm the only one with all the codes." Stellatio warned.

"Unfortunate. What do you think, my dear?" I ask Jack.

"When are people gonna learn not to fuck with you?" she sighed.

"Not sure. Maybe I have one of those faces you just want to shoot-"

"Kill them!" Stellatio shrieked and sprinted away from us. Dozens of guns opened fire and Jack held out her hand as a blue ward materialized to deflect hundreds of bullets from reaching their mark.

"Fire at will!" I shout into my mic.

* * *

><p>From the three surrounding rooftops the rest of the Normandy's shore team as well as her ablest marines lit up the patio with return fire. At a couple hundred meters and a downward angle the Trellis mercs were sitting ducks for the keen eyes of the snipers. Garrus Vakarian's were the keenest of all and with each breath he dropped another merc. In no particular hurry he had a full thirty seconds of of open gallery before the mercs realized they were being picked off.<p>

A bullet plowed into concrete wall they were shooting over and the turian frowned as he ducked down. "They got smart! Squads B and C, find their snipers and scope 'em!"

Next to him Jacob Taylor was reloading his Mantis unhurriedly. "Shepard going to be okay?"

"That's Jack down there." Garrus reminded him. "They'll hold."

"Hope so."

* * *

><p>Watching Stellatio make a quick exit I consider Charging him but it would break Jack's barrier. Seeing how she's holding up under the strain of keeping so many projectiles at bay she kept it together. The convict was the strongest biotic in the galaxy but she was still only human. Looking around at the guns pounding our position I didn't like the odds.<p>

"Jack, get out of here." I order. "There's more than we thought there would be.

"Bullshit." she said and there was only a trace of effort in her voice.

"Jump off the edge. Should be able to avoid cars on the way down."

"I'm not leaving!" she said through clenched teeth.

"This isn't a request, Jack. You – oh hell, is that a YMIR?"

A pair of heavy duty mechs came stomped over tables towards use and would being unloading a volley soon that even the convict could not withstand for long. "They're bringing the mechs over. You're going to break. Get out of here, now!" I repeat.

"Nnnnnhh, no!" she refused.

"Why the hell not!?"

"I'm not...leaving you...alone!" she said and began to take shorter and shorter breaths.

The YMIRs put us in their cross hairs and knocked entire tables down with their main cannons. Jack fell to one knee and put her left hand on the ground to steady herself. Despite the near inhuman amount of resistance she was pouring out she kept her right hand raised in a glowing fist.

"Goddammit Subject Zero! Pull back!" I shout at her.

Sweat beaded on her forehead and she ground out, "You only...want me to go...yaaaaaaahhh!"

She finally gave out and I was waiting for that exact moment. Raising my hand as hers dropped my barrier sprang up inside hers as it dissipated. Mine was sharper, more angular to deflect the most amount of force but it would only help so much. It was still extremely taxing to maintain such a field in the face of a punishing salvo like the one that would have killed us in seconds had it not been up. I make sure to keep the effort off my face as the bullets crash into my field like a metallic river. They're nothing, nothing at all. Just pebbles breaking on a steel wall.

Jack panted as she looked up at me. Wiping her brow with her forearm she said, "You only want me to leave because you're worried."

"Nonsense." I say as casually as possible. Keeping up a sustained field like this feels like someone sucking the life out of you second by second but I had been doing this since I was a kid. It was nothing but rain drops on a windshield.

"Yeah? Would you have sent Samara away?"

"Is this the time for this...conversation?" I stumble just a little.

"Don't see why not."

"I don't know...the mortal danger part?" I offer. I begin to sweat myself as my nerve endings ache and my leg involuntarily starts to shake. The mercs are really pouring it on and must have thrown thousands of bullets at us by now.

"I'm not leaving." she said stubbornly. "You need someone drawing fire in between Charges."

"Need...is a...strong...word..." I strain and am unable to keep it from my voice. The waves were breaking on the sea wall and it was beginning to crumble from their fury. Raising a trembling left hand I put two fingers to my ear and snarl, "Drop those fucking mechs sometime today, please!"

Jack locks eyes with me and she knows I'm faltering. Like holding onto a cliff with one hand for an extended period of time I knew my strength was giving out and I couldn't stop it. My nerves screamed at me and I quake, "...Jack...please...go...I...whhuuuup-"

One of the mechs hits my field with a missile and it shatters. Subject Zero is waiting and hers goes up before the explosive hits. Gasping for breath I refuse to let myself fall off my feet. Teetering as I shake the stars from my vision I yell, "You're disobeying a direct command! Retreat!"

Curling her lip at me fiercely the biotic shakes her head. "Jack if you don't get out of here in the next six seconds, angels help me, I will throw you off this roof all the way back to the goddamn LZ!" I angrily threaten.

Her eyes widened slightly and she uttered, "You wouldn't-"

"Test me, woman."

Unsure at first the convict then went back to defiant and said, "Fuck you Shepard, you're full of shIIIIIIAAAAAAIIIE!"

Closing my fist I wrapped her in a field and got a hopping start as I threw it overhead like a baseball pitcher. Jack's voice trailed off into the sky as her barrier fell and bullets slammed into my shield. Dodging to the left I came up into a Charge and flung myself well behind the mechs.

* * *

><p>Garrus put a round on the YMIR's shield before a counter sniper tagged his in the shoulder. It nearly depleted the protective field in one shot and the turian ducked down to let it recover. "Squad C, shooter on the tower is on me." he relayed.<p>

"Shit!" Jacob cursed. "Was that a person!?"

Looking up Shepard's second in command spotted the projectile and his high def eye piece confirmed that not only was it a person but it was Jack. "Holy! Shepard, what just happened!?"

"Jack went sight seeing!" the Commander responded over the din of nearby gunfire. "Carry on!"

"Captain Vakarian! The Commander is loose!" one of the marines squawked. "He's all over the place!"

Peeking over cover Garrus saw the biotic in violent blue flashes streaking all over the roof. "Dammit! Concentrate fire on the mechs! Anyone who hits the commander by accident he's going to hit back later!" Another bullet whizzed over head and the turian had to fall back.

"Hmph, got us targeted." he grumbled as he reached for another of their dwindling heat sinks.

"I liked it better when you ran these ops." Jacob complained. "Shepard always makes a mess of it."

"That's what he does, better than anyone else." Garrus replied.

"Speaking of messes...what's the deal with him and Jack?"

"That? Couldn't have better timing."

"Squad A, clear!" Zaeed gruffly reported. Simultaneously Garrus and Jacob both popped up to take five fast, rapid fire shots before returning to cover.

"He's almost back to normal." Garrus said as he popped the clip out. "It's been months since he oversaw an op like this. If Jack speeds him along, great."

"You think they've..."

"Nah, not yet. Sadly, I'd know about it." he clicked his jaw disapprovingly. "He likes some kind of grand intro to a serious relationship. It's kind of a pattern."

"Not with Miranda."

"I said 'serious'. Still upset about that?"

"Naw. I wasn't then and I'm not now. We had been just friends long before he woke up. Besides...she's dead. It's no way to honor your friends. It just doesn't feel the same without her sometimes, you know?"

"Yeah...I know all about that." the turian agreed.

"I'm on the executive level. Fall back." Shepard ordered from deep inside Trellis HQ. Garrus took one last shot through the head of the YMIR and it fell over quite satisfactorily before blowing up.

"You heard the man!" the captain barked. "Get to your exits and be at the rendezvous or we leave without you!"

Collapsing his rifle and loading it onto his back holster he and Jacob crawled to safety as the the shore team began to evacuate.

* * *

><p>Pumping a shotgun at crowd of mercs waiting for me they scattered. I manage to tag one but I wasn't trying to hit them from that distance anyway. Dropping the gun when it's empty I leap over the barricade where two of them are hiding and I drop an elbow on the first one's helmet as I come down. It crunches under the force and the second one gets a shot off with his Trellis made assault rifle. It goes wide over my shoulder as I slide in and the merc eats a biotic strike to the solar plexus that caves his armor into his body. My knuckles are already bleeding and I'm beginning to tire from the constant, taxing implant use but it had been far too long since I'd pushed myself like this.<p>

The merc crumples and I snatch up his gun as his friends shoot me in the back. Twisting to empty the clip at them they cower from the shots and I suck in a deep breath before I charge them. I'm havin' a ball.

* * *

><p>"What do you mean he's unstoppable!?" Stellatio snapped at his console. "You're better armed, dug in and outnumber him a hundred to one! Do your jobs!"<p>

Locked in the president's suite the human desperately searched for a way out of the building. Someone had hacked his private elevator and he dared not make a break for the main ones with Shepard still lurking outside. Sirens were on their way and he would likely have to smooth things over as well as greasing a few palms but it would be worth it to get out alive. Fortunately the suite also doubled as a panic room and the door was a meter thick. Reinforced walls and at least thirty men outside the door should keep him safe long enough for his forces to converge on Shepard. The right side of the office had tall, six meter high glass windows looking out over the city but those too were designed to take a beating.

There was a loud, jarring thud from outside and door and gunfire erupted in the reception area just past his office. Stellatio's palms were moist and he was worried but no matter how strong he was the commander would never get through-

The thick doors parted and into the room a blue typhoon came screeching to a cacophonous stop. The doors ground shut a half second later as Shepard appeared at the center of a shockwave that rocked the room and blasted Stellatio's expensive furniture to pieces.

"Whew." the homicidal commander breathed as he leaned on what was left of a five thousand credit couch. "That really takes it out of you after a while."

"Stay back!" Stellatio warned shrilly from behind his desk console. He clutched a pistol but it didn't make him feel as powerful as it normally did.

"I gotta admit, I'm good and bushed." he called as he approached. "It's not just that fight of ours that did me in either. It's all the jumping and running! I hate running."

"We can work something out!"

"Possibly." Shepard said much closer and the president popped up to train his pistol on the biotic. Lit up by blue light the commander had his hand out as the businessman aimed at his heart. Walking up to the desk Shepard jumped onto the console and back down to stand within a meter of the gun pointed at him.

"You-" Stellatio began and Shepard blurred. The president fired but there was a hand on his wrist and his gun was ripped away before he could shoot again. Close enough to strike the commander looked him dead in the eyes as he popped the thermal clip out and expertly dismantled the weapon. Letting the pieces fall to the floor he stripped it down to the handle and trigger mechanism which he handed back to Stellatio. Mind racing as he looked down what was left of his weapon the businessman said, "What can I do for you, Commander?"

"The rest of the data. Now." the heartless biotic replied.

Immediately the president went to his personal console and started accessing the research. Holding out his omni-tool the commander waited patiently for the transfer as the merc attempted to enter the room. The would, regrettably, not get through in time.

"Mordin, is the data good?" Shepard asked the air. "Excellent" he confirmed a moment later.

"Now, before you do anything rash, I'm a very wealthy man." Stellatio held his hands up.

"And?"

"I can put five million credits in your pocket right now. Another 15 in 24 hours." he spoke rapidly.

"Really." the commander said disinterestedly. "I wonder how much of those profits came from the live test subjects you used during field testing?"

"Now hold on, those were legally purchased slaves." Stellatio reasoned. "They were company property."

"Uh huh."

"Think of all the good you could do with that money. Think about how it would help your Foundation. Maybe it could be used for a charity." the fast thinking executive said.

"Hmm. That's not a bad idea. Do it." Shepard accepted.

Accessing his personal slush fund the president's pulse began to slow. Transferring the funds to the commander's waiting account Stellatio breathed a large mental sigh of relief. Money could always be made but he would have to be alive to do it. Thankfully Shepard was a shrewd businessman himself.

"EDI." he said out loud. "Transfer the incoming credits to a charity for the victims of Trellis' slave trades. Find their nexts of kin if possible. Have a report ready by the time we get back." Nodding to himself Shepard turned his frightening attention back to Stellatio.

"All right, you got the data and the money. I've learned my lesson. If you agree to stay off Lahu the rest will be wired in due time. Let's put this...unfortunate incident behind us, shall we?"

Shepard continue to stare at him as if he'd not spoken at all. "Uh...Commander?" the president waved his hand.

"I'm sorry." the biotic said. "I was just thinking about Jack."

"Wha? Whose Jack?"

Lifting up his hand the commander levitated a thick table off the ground and smashed it on the high rise's windows. The glass was of course sturdy enough to take it and Shepard had to resort to hitting it directly with a biotic pulse to get it to break. Wind blew into the office and the president sighed as he added the cost of repairing the glass to his mental tally of expenses. "Haven't you ruined enough of my-"

Stellatio yelped as the commander pounced on him like a tiger and lifted the businessman into the air as if he weighed nothing at all. "What are you doing!?" he screamed. "We had a deal!"

"Eh. Don't feel like being a good guy today." Shepard said non-nonchalantly and threw him out of the window.

* * *

><p>Walking away from the glass he lifted his hand to his ear as the president's scream faded and he said, "Kasumi, can you-"<p>

"Elevator's on the way, Shep." she replied before he could finish the sentence."

"Thank you sweetness!" he said happily. The private car opened just a few meters away and the master thief was waiting inside.

"Going down?" she asked as he joined her.

"Not today it seems." he replied and they were soon speeding towards the ground. "Got a speed bike waiting in the parking garage." she informed him.

"Awesome. I love accelerating on those. Might have to evade local authorities too."

"There's only one bike, Shep."

"So?"

"I'm driving."

"What?"

"You can walk if you like." she offered.

"Riding bitch for a 40 kilo Japanese woman..." he muttered under his breath.

"Say something?"

"Nope."

* * *

><p>We pull up to the LZ and the two shuttles are waiting. Ditching the bike Kasumi and I head for separate rides and apparently we are the last ones to board. The craft lifts off the second I step on and I head for the back. With our increasing budget we'd acquired bigger vehicles for landing more troops and while they were longer they weren't much wider than before. Hanging on to the over head rail I squeeze past the marines and the shore team where Jack sat on hunched over staring at the floor.<p>

Usually the men are boisterous and chatting about the mission, swapping close call stories and pats on the back. Instead it's as quiet as a graveyard and everyone is trying not to be obvious about staring at me and Subject Zero. I sit down directly across from her so that our knees bump against each other and hold out my hand. The adjutant on board gives me a data pad with a preliminary report on the mission as well as combat data on the marines we had taken along with us.

The flight jostles us a little as I pour over the information. Sniper Hathcock was leading the pack in kills and least shots to his shield among the marines. Letting a minute or so pass by I say, "So Jack, hit any birds on the way down?"

The shuttle erupted into laughter and Subject Zero did her best not to turn red. Shifting to the rest of the crew she roared, "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, double fuck you Garrus and most of all, fuck you Shepard!" but she was smiling. Her protests only egg them on and I look up with a grin from ear to ear. She put up two middle fingers at the rest of the cabin and I finally say, "All right, all right, get it out of your systems. I'm not going to protect you later when you piss Jack off again and she kills you."

The laughter gave way to the usual post mission chatter and I turn back to Subject Zero who is looking right at me. I assumed she'd be pissed but she is unsuccessful in keeping a wide smile from her face. Silently she mouths the word 'dumbass' and I kiss the air at her before returning to my report.


	9. Aphrodite

Hot water massages tired muscles and steam curls around my body as I shower away a hard day of training. While it was true that I was effective on the battlefield my friend and mentor Thane was something of an artist. It was not just his technique or form that was perfect but his efficiency that made him a master. While we could both take down a group of soldiers he could do it faster, cleaner and with less energy expended. I still had much to learn from him though there would not be time to absorb everything.

I dwell on his impending death even as I rethink the lessons of the day he had hammered home. I will be sad to see him go but the more time I spend with him the more I could tell he was relieved in a way. In another life he would have been a priest or a monk instead of an assassin. Perhaps this was his penance for taking so many souls in his time. I wonder then about myself and the countless enemies I'd defeated. What would be my punishment for all the enemies I'd laid to rest?

Changing the water flow over to warm air the shower stops and turns into a body length blow dryer. It quickly blasts stubborn moisture from my skin and dries me in seconds as I reach for fresh clothes. Stepping out into my office my thoughts change over to business. I had mostly caught up on my mail backlog but there's a pressing report that needs my attention waiting on the table. I decide to get myself a drink first but for once it's a simple rehydration liquid instead of something alcoholic. My mind drifts to Tali as I'm pouring as it often does when I'm alone. While I can't hope for a resurrection I wish I could just talk to her for a few minutes. I'd tell her how much I missed her, how sorry I was and how I hoped she could forgive me for moving on.

Forcibly dismissing the swirling thoughts and feelings I focus on the present. Life wasn't fair and things don't always go the way they're supposed to. For now I had work to do and there would be time to dwell on the angry dead later. Drink in hand I move down the steps to the table and nearly jump out of my skin when I see Dr. Liara T'soni sitting on the couch waiting for me.

"Hngyaaah!"

"Shepard." she nods pleasantly. Sitting very properly in a shimmering black dress that hugs her form I am suddenly taken aback by how swiftly all other thoughts are chased from my mind.

"For the angel's sake!" I say indignantly and hope that my surprise has covered my discreet appreciation of her curvature. "How long have you been there?"

"I came in when you were in the shower. Didn't want to disturb you."

In a huff I compose myself sit down a moderate distance from her. "You know, I said the next person to just come in here would get tossed out of the airlock."

"You'll have to make an exception then. That or test your biotics against mine."

I glare at her in good nature and look for my report. The data pad on the table has been moved but also carefully replaced at almost the same exact spot and angle where it previously lay. Almost.

"Ever on the hunt for information aren't you Doctor?"

Liara smiles. Caught red handed she doesn't seem to mind that I know she'd been looking through my things. "I'm impressed by the progress you've made on the Iwo Jima. I assume it's already under construction?"

"You're the information broker, you tell me." I taunt.

"This report says it is. The million credit question is where and by who."

I laugh before I gulp my drink triumphantly. If the acting Shadow Broker didn't know where the ship was being built it was as good as non-existent to the rest of the galaxy. Given the extraordinary amount of secrecy the project demanded I was glad it had all paid off.

"Shepard?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you going to tell me?"

"Huh? Oh, no, not really." I grin. "I like having this over you. The secrets of the galaxy at your fingertips but you still don't know where one little ship is being put together."

"I could take an educated guess." she said and turned her nose up loftily.

"That so? Go ahead. I'd be impressed if you could nail the right cluster. Let alone the right system."

"You've seen my operation so you know how deep information networks can run. So you were very careful." she begins in that halting, full-stop-after-each-sentence kind of speech I'd always loved. I wonder if I might have a thing for accents that I'd somehow never picked up on despite having regular extraterrestrial partners.

"You hired contractors but didn't tell them where they were going or what they'd be working on. You brought them on the Normandy and dropped them off at the site with no access to the extranet or any way to determine their position. To make sure no one would even look for the hanger you put it somewhere no sane person would ever go. Somewhere only the Normandy could easily visit. Am I getting warmer Shepard?"

I sit back. The asari historian makes a good Shadow Broker for a reason. "Warm-er, I guess." I shrug and try to play off how close she was in fact getting.

"If I had to pick a system it would have to be one off limits to almost everyone else. One surrounded by geth and natural hazards. As you're a creature of habit Shepard I'd say Haestrom or a nearby moon. And your hanger is underground. Any of that correct?" she asked smugly.

Smiling into my drink I say, "I'm glad you're on my side Dr. T'soni."

"I'm glad you're on mine." she nodded. "I hear you've been improving lately. How have you been?"

"You hear? Do you always keep tabs on your friends?"

"No." she shook her head. "Just you."

"Is that why you came by? To check up on me? I'm sure you have a lot to do at your base."

"I do, but Feron can run things for a couple days. I have a mobile link if I need to talk to him." She took my drink out of my hand and sipped a bit of it. Returning it to my fingers which were still conveniently in the shape of the glass she said, "No booze today. That's good. Anyway, I have a lot invested in you, Shepard. Time, money, trust, emotions. Not to mention the survival of the galaxy depends on you."

"Don't say that." I grumble. "I've been at the right places at the right times with the right people. Simple as that."

"No it isn't." she shook her head. "Even you have to admit what you've done in unparalleled."

"What we've done." I correct her. "I always had the best help possible, the best crew, the best resources and the best ship outside a Reaper itself. I lead well. I don't quit. That's all."

"That's not entirely true. It's more than that Shepard. You live to make the impossible possible. That's your focus. Whether you want to believe it or not."

Using my glass as an excuse to not speak I remain silent. The second someone believed they were unstoppable they introduced fundamental mistakes into their thinking. I refused to fall into that trap.

"So you've been out and about since the last time I visited. What made you stop hanging around your cabin without pants on?" Liara asked and cuts through my thoughts.

"Oh...well at first Garrus talked to me. Then Jack kind of kicked my ass slash shamed me into spending less time moping. Sometimes the strangest people surprise you. Like Mordin and his singing career."

"Yes. Jack. The most decorated criminal on your ship." she said with a trace of dissatisfaction.

"Hmm." I murmur and am intrigued. Something in her tone made me want to investigate further. "You don't approve of Jack."

"You have a dangerous, wanted fugitive on your ship and your team. Why would I ever disapprove?"

I take a more measured approach and study the asari's body language closely. There's a slight irregularity in her voice that one would only pick up on if they had spent a lot of time with the normally stoic historian. She notices me examining her and realizes she's given something away. Attempting to act innocent she said, "What is it Shepard?"

"It's about Jack. Not the usual reasons either. Something else."

Liara is very quiet. That means I'm on to something and she knows it. In an effort to not give anything else away she chooses to be a blank slate but her silent defense only further attracts attention. What could possibly be her problem with Jack? As far as I knew they had only met rarely and even with Jack's abrasive personality only a few things could have warranted Liara investigating her.

"Ah I see." I say when I realize what happened. "Your information brokering ways. You got wind of my private soap opera with Jack and Tali. But not just that either. Something else is wrong."

Watching her squirm inwardly I study her angelic countenance for more clues. While she gives me nothing to work with I am able to follow her line of thinking to another conclusion. "You're mad at me. You're mad at me for spending time with Jack. You don't like it."

"Don't be silly Shepard." she tried to brush off.

"It's funny. She was convinced your visits had an ulterior motive. I said she was being paranoid. Turns out even Jack has some female intuition."

"Shepard you're being silly-"

"You're caught, my dear. Don't try to talk your way out of this one or lie to me. I know you far too well, Doctor."

Fiddling with the wrinkles in her dress Liara didn't look at me when she softly asked, "What do you want me to say?"

"An explanation would be nice." I suggest.

"Do you remember when we first met?" she asked abruptly.

"Of course. You were trapped in a bubble and incorrectly assumed I was a hallucination."

"Do you remember...the first time we were together?"

I didn't know what she was getting at but I did not miss a beat. "You remember it as well as I do. Nervous systems and memories linked together but you knew that already. It's not like I'd forget any time soon but why are you bringing it up?"

"You have all the good memories. But I have others. Listening to Joker report on your final moments. Watching the Normandy explode. Your funeral. Fighting to save your body." she said and I could see that just remembering these events was upsetting for her. "Hoping just for a moment that Cerberus really could bring you back. Everything that's happened to you with Tali only dragged out over two years and never really ending."

"You had Feron." I argue. "You cared enough about him to somewhat replace me. Kept a damn picture of him in your office too. If that isn't water under the bridge I don't know what is."

"He gave himself to save me." she admitted. "Betrayed me too for money. But you...you would have saved me a dozen times over. Even when your hands were full with the Collectors you dropped everything to help me with the Shadow Broker. Not because you were being paid or expecting something in return. Because I needed help."

"All of that is true." I agree. "I don't understand what you're getting at though."

"I don't know what changed." the asari said. "Something did though. Obviously."

"You mean between you and I?"

"Yes." she said almost unwillingly.

"You were different when we met again." I explain. "Harder. Stronger. Like you didn't need to lean on me anymore. I mean, I was gone. You had to be." I sip at my drink in an effort to let the subject change itself but it doesn't work. Finally I add, "It always seemed like you had moved on. I took the hint."

"Is that why you chose Tali over me?" she asked in a matter of fact tone.

"It didn't happen that way and you know it."

"It did Shepard. We're both adults here so let's be honest with ourselves."

"'Two years is a long time. We're different people.' Isn't that what you said to me? Are those the words of someone trying to reclaim what they'd lost?" I ask as I become slightly vexed.

"How does finding excuses to visit the engine room compare with that?"

"Ah, so the gloves are off then." I comment. "I come back from the dead to find a picture of some drell on your desk like he's the long lost love of your life. You have me hacking terminals like a salarian merc but one mention of this guy and you're all in a rage to help him. Add into that your 'let's be friends' routine and yeah, you're damn right I went after someone else."

"So having a picture of someone on your desk means that much does it?"

"Well that and-"

"Why did you have a picture of me when you were with Tali then? Why is it still there?"

The question catches me off guard. I'm too worked up to give her the satisfaction of the answer so I shift gears. "Why are we even talking about this? You're too busy on your ship with what's-his-name, Ash hates me, Miranda's dead, Tali's dead and the only one left I somehow haven't managed to piss off despite her being the most crazy of the bunch. Why rehash old wounds?"

She stirred and adjusted her dress nervously before speaking again. It was not like her to be anxious, well, unless she was talking about her feelings. For all her varied skills she never was very good at personal emotions. "When I found out about you and Tali I was hurt but I understood. She had an eye for you even back then. Not to mention that we had all been through so much together. She was a good, loyal, strong person that always thought of others first. You were right to be with her Shepard and don't ever think what happened to her was your fault."

I take in and let out a deep breath but nod in agreement. "But this...Jack is not like that." she continued. "She lives only for herself. She leaves terror in her wake. It's not right."

"It's not right...?" I trail off expecting an explanation.

"Do you really want me to say it?"

"What? That a convict is currently my best option for happiness?"

"No..."

"What then? What else could be wrong? That someone like Jack takes Tali's place instead of you?" I guess. Liara averts her eyes hurriedly and my jaw drops at her silent confirmation. I had misunderstood the parameters of the conversation we were having completely. I thought I was talking to an old flame about ancient history and her disapproval over my current front runner. Instead she was hurt that I hadn't come to her first not just before Tali but after her as well. How could I have not noticed? Perhaps people were right when they said I was a little dense when it came to women.

We sit in an awkward silence for around a minute that feels like much, much longer. I swirl my drink around and begin an intense study of how the liquid moves in the container. She keeps her eyes downcast and I can almost feel her unwillingness to speak. When I realize Liara isn't going to further the conversation I clear my throat. "I uh...thought we agreed to remain friends on your ship."

"We did." she acknowledged and got up to sit very close next to me. "Things change, Shepard. I made a mistake that I intend to undo."

Her dress and soft body make contact with my rib cage. My heart beats a little faster and I turn ever so slightly to face her. We're only centimeters apart as I look down at the asari's perfect body before meeting her gaze. Deep azure eyes sparkle with a wistful sadness that makes my chest ache. Her face has the still perfection of a calm lake and was a million times more blue. I know every twist and turn of her hair-like head spikes and remember how I'd run my fingers through them after we'd...

What was I supposed to do? The last thing I wanted was to reject one of my oldest friends. No, that wasn't it. At least tell yourself the truth, old boy. I still felt strongly for her but how could I disrespect Tali's memory like this? How could I even think it? What was I supposed to tell Jack? Angels help me, I'm only human. None of this is right but the asari is here, warm, willing. Feelings like ours are hard to dismiss even after a bad case of death. It didn't help that I'd imagined this a thousand times even with Tali laying next to me.

I realize that she is staring at me while I stare at her. I don't know how much time just slipped by but too much to pass off as accidental. Turning my gaze downwards to my lap I fidget with my own fingers. Like a couple of school children on a first date we both know what we want to do but are too afraid to admit it.

"Say something Shepard." Liara whispered.

"What should I say?" I cringe when it's obvious that we're in middle of a conundrum.

"You could tell me if I'm wasting my time." she said with just a hint of fear. "Tell me that you aren't ready. That you've moved on. That you never thought about me that way anymore."

"Could I now?" I muse.

"I would understand if you didn't."

"There are less days that I didn't think of you 'that way' then not. But sometimes it felt wrong."

"The Goddess knows I'd never ask you to do something you didn't want to."

"That's ridiculous." I scoff. "You're the only reason I'm even here. I'd do anything for you if you'd just ask."

"Anything? Why did you end up with Tali then?"

I sigh and mentally prepare to tell her the truth that I hid even from my quarian. "You know, she always knew when I was thinking about you. I don't know how. I could tell it really bothered her even if she said it didn't."

"I'm sorry Shepard." she said and squeezed my arm gently.

"Dying isn't fun, Liara. You ever have a dream so strong it feels wrong when you wake up? It was like that times a hundred. One of the last things I thought of was you. Crossing over and back didn't change that. It does give you a sense of perspective though. I'd already died once and I took happiness where ever I could find it...but even when I was with her, you would be lurking in the back of my mind. I don't regret for a second the time I spent with Tali but I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about you all the-"

She kisses me. My drink falls to the floor but I can barely hear it. Countless battles and challenges I can anticipate and survive but this catches me defenseless. Strong blue hands grip my head and clothes while our tongues slide together. I'm nearly overpowered by her closeness and the dizzying traces of her alien perfume. Even now I think of Tali and Jack with a pang of guilt but only for a second and it is immediately overridden by well guarded but never forgotten feelings for the asari. It is hard to picture the ethics involved or anything else for that matter with an almost magnetic attraction forcing Liara and I together.

I reach for her midsection and she makes a half muffled groan into my mouth. I'm about six seconds from giving in completely when Liara pulls away from me. I'm confused and suddenly thrown out of my game but the separation gives us both a chance to get some air, literally. I clear my throat as I often do when I don't know what to say and she puts her fingers to her mouth for some reason. Realizing my hand is still around her back and clutching her side I let go and get some distance between us.

I thought the previous awkward silence was awkward but this made the earlier incident look like a half second faux pas. Every cell in my body was urging me on and only the weirdness of the situation kept me in check. I'm ninety percent sure if her next words aren't 'I should go' then I won't be giving either one of us another chance to over think this.

"I'm sorry Shepard. That was an accident." she said as she looked away from me and fixed her dress.

I stare up at the ceiling as I try to remember how to formulate words. Gathering my wits the best I can I say, "Uh...do you have these accidents a lot?"

"I'm taking advantage of you. You need a little more time, I can tell. We just got caught up in the moment."

"Uh...yeah...if by 'we' you mean 'you' and moment you mean...whatever just happened." I say while looking at her flawless chest rising up and down. Getting caught up in the moment didn't seem like too bad of an idea right then. There was only a thin layer of fabric in between - no! Bad! Get a grip, old boy!

She snaps her fingers in my face. "Up here, Shepard."

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry."

She stands and starts to gather her things. "I should go."

Mentally running through at least ten different expletives I struggle to keep up as she goes on, "You have things to do and there's issues I need to take care of."

"Uh huh." I say with a mixture of minor relief and major disappointment. Standing in front of me she smiles sadly and reaches down touch my shoulder. "We will talk again. Promise."

"You don't have to go..."

"I...I should. Just...trust me, Shepard."

"Okay..." I manage.

I watch her leave. Liara only looks back for a moment before the door closes behind her. Her bluest of blue eyes seem to be saying sorry but also had that gleam I had long ago learned to associate with intimacy. The door closes and I'm staring at the dull gray slab of metal before realizing that I'm spacing out. Skipping the chuckle worthy fact that I was literally in space as I spaced out I sit back down on my couch and let out a long, unsteady breath. The thought of a cold shower appeals to me right now despite the fact that I had just had one.

I always hated not knowing what to feel but knowing exactly what to do. The weight of the dead and my failures to them rested always on my shoulders. While I might have hang ups and misgivings about my personal life my path forward was never in doubt. When they bled together like this...situation...I occasionally questioned myself. I had been at a personal crossroad before when it came to women but not like this. In addition to the two choices I had the specter of a third hanging over me that was surprisingly fresh after the time that had passed.

There's that report to read still but I cue up a holovid of an old Earth war instead. I need some distance from myself and my situation. Seeing humanity struggle with the problems of one tiny planet somehow always made me feel better about things.


	10. Ananke

Sifting through a pile of reports I skim the progress update on the Iwo Jima. While it's still coming along faster than I'd hoped there were other considerations to be had. Finding a qualified pilot was a major concern and Joker would rather die than leave the Normandy. There was also the concern of the ship's AI. I wanted EDI on both vessels but it turned to be an impossible request. Without building a new persona from scratch we would have to copy her program onto the Iwo Jima and it simply...felt wrong. Privately I toyed with the idea of uploading Legion's software to the sister ship but the angel knew what kind of uproar that would cause.

The door to my cabin opens and I'm a little surprised. Very few people come here uninvited and it is little wonder to me when Jack comes around the corner.

"Shep." she nods expectantly and I stare her in confusion.

"Something I can help you with?" I ask.

Subject Zero sighed and I flick my gaze that corner of the data pad in my hand. "Ah...damn." I curse.

"You forgot again."

"No, no I didn't." I point a finger upwards. "I forgot what day it was in general."

"It's a Saturday. Why are you working?"

"What else would I be doing?"

"Remembering we have a marathon would be nice." she crossed her arms at me. "Why don't you make Garrus do this on the weekends? He's getting called 'Captain' these days anyway."

"Huh. Not the worst idea I've ever heard. All right, let me finish this-"

She slipped the pad from my hand and threw it behind her. "Or we can start now, whatever." I blink.

Following her down to my couch I lower the large screen from above my bed. Jack had never been much of a film enthusiast so I had started making her watch at least one classic before the trashy cinema we both enjoyed. Usually we sat a friend distance apart but I'd noticed that Jack moved closer and closer with each passing visit. Today she plopped herself down only a handful of centimeters away.

Settling in comfortably I started the film and we were quiet as it played. After about ten minutes Jack said, "Pause." and the screen stopped. She had caught on that I hated talking over a film.

"What's wrong?"

"Why'd you send me away on Lahu?" she shifted to me. Subject Zero had a knack for knowing hwne I was lying to her so the best I could do was skirt around the truth. "I did not expect them to have extra men and mechs. There simply was more than we planned for."

"So?"

"So we were pinned down and severely outnumbered. How long could we have held out? Another five minutes? If we didn't need that info I would have extracted myself too."

"Yeah right. When was the last time you ran from a fight?"

"Uh...you know I can't remember. Had to be a gunship or a Thresher Maw or something big like that."

"I could have helped." she insisted.

"You don't know how to Charge, Jack. I've spent my whole adult life perfecting that one move so I could survive an encounter like that. It was a tactical decision and I had to make it."

She eyed me very closely and for all her cosmetic distractions Jack possessed a sharp mind that caught people off guard who were not used to dealing with her. "That was the only reason? Just issuing orders?"

Here's where she trapped me. If I said yes she'd know I was lying. If I said no she would want an explanation. There had to be a third option...

"Maybe I made a mistake. Maybe you could have handled yourself. Sorry." I shrug.

She turns her head to the side just slightly as if she was getting a better angle on my face. "You didn't answer the question." she said almost in amazement.

"Uh..."

"There was another reason. What was it?" she demanded.

"Jack-"

"Answer me, Shepard!"

I try to think of something to buy time. I draw a blank. Subject Zero sees my gears turning and I can't think of a good enough half truth to tell. "Maybe I didn't want anything to happen to my strongest biotic." I attempt to play off as not a big deal.

"You were worried?" she asked incredulously.

"More like cautious."

"You threw me off of a sky scraper because you were scared that something would happen to me? God, you're such a pussy some times."

"Okay, note to self, next time Jack asks personal questions just ignore her."

"Oh shut up, you're not proving me wrong." she sneered. "But that ain't gonna happen again. I'll be your bodyguard for real. Anywhere you go, I go. If you're gonna put yourself in stupid situations, then you'll just have to plan for me being in them too."

"But-"

"No buts, I wasn't asking, I was telling." she cut me off. I glare at her but Jack is implacable. Turning away from me she faces the screen. "Pretty good throw."

"Thane taught me."

"Play." she said and the film resumed. My feathers had been ruffled but I shut up to enjoy the rest of the movie anyway. Jack shifts and closes the scant centimeters between us so that she is side by side with me. Stretching my left arm across her shoulders she rests her head on it as the screen flickers in front of us.

* * *

><p>A couple of days later I'm striding through the crew deck and make straight for the main battery. There as always was the dedicated Garrus Vakarian. He hardly seemed to notice me as he tapped on his console over and over. "Shepard. What can I do for you?"<p>

"Just had some things on my mind I wanted to run by you. Got a minute?" I ask.

"Actually I'm in the middle of some calibrations right now, can it wait?"

I walk up to his console and uppercut the flimsy metal casing on the under side with near unbreakable bones. Reaching up through the damaged panel I grip a number of cables and yank them out of place. The console fizzled and went dark very satisfactorily. "There," I say, "now you're not doing anything."

"Drastic." Garrus said and crossed his arms with his jaw bones clicking disapprovingly. "How can I help you Shepard?"

"I have a problem." I say and take a seat on the bench against the wall. "You ever...if you had two choices that were equally good in different ways but also there was a third choice you couldn't have that you still thought about what would you do?"

"You're going to have to be more specific and less confusing Shepard." the turian said. "What's this all about anyway?"

"You know, just choices. Choices in life. That I have to make."

"Yes but it would help if I knew what they were exactly." Garrus insisted.

"Well that's part of the problem, because uh, I don't really have all the information either so you'll just have to pick blind."

"You're only vague when you're trying to hide something. Is this a woman problem Shepard?" he asked as he tilted his head to the side.

"No!" I scoff. "No. This is a regular problem...which I am asking my good friend about...who is such a good friend that he doesn't need details on everything but will give me useful advice anyway."

"It _is_ about women!" Garrus concluded in exasperation.

"No it's not!" I try to play off.

"It is!"

"All right, yes!" I cry.

The turian sniper put his head in both of his hands. "It's Jack and Liara isn't it?" he asked through his fingers.

"Yeah."

Sighing Garrus rubbed the side of his head. "Shepard, you're the only person I've ever known who always seems to have multiple females fighting over you and instead of being happy all you do is complain about it. First it was Williams and Liara, then Miranda and Tali and Jack, then just Tali and Jack, now Liara and Jack. How can your personal life get even more screwed up? Williams gets stationed here again? You get into a thing with that very friendly yeoman of yours?" I cough and turn my head away from Garrus to try to hide my face but he sees me grimacing anyway.

"Dammit Shepard what's wrong with you! Your personal assistant? Really?" he threw his hands up. "Never mind, I don't even want to know about it. Look, just pick one. Everyone knows you're miserable and still beating yourself up over Karnak. Be happy for once."

"Which one though?" I lament. "I'll always feel like I made the wrong choice."

"What do your instincts tell you?"

"Well...Liara..."

"Okay well, Liara it is." Garrus said.

"But she's always away at her base...so Jack?"

"You'd pick based on location?" Garrus asked incredulously.

"Well if Liara was mad at me I could at least avoid her. Jack, no way. That would be awkward. Plus she might just blow up the ship if I pissed her off too badly."

"Oh. Didn't think of that. Jack then." he advised.

"Garrus!"

"Oh come on Shepard. If one or both of them will help you out of your funk then you owe it to the crew to choose."

"Wait, you said both." I say and feel like I'm onto something. "There's got to be some crackpot alien religion or custom that encourages multiple partner couples I can sign up for."

"Shepard, they'd probably team up to kill you on the spot if you tried that."

"I know, it sounded better in my head." I agree.

"You're in charge. Make a damn decision."

"Being in charge is over rated. I hate making decisions."

* * *

><p>The large ship was lacking in comforts but would fulfill its task adequately. While it was not necessary to board for another hour or so the quarian made sure she was in her seat and ready to go. There were few people already on the transport to Illium and she kept a watchful eye on them. True that no one knew she was there and her safe passage had already been guaranteed but caution was her new ship name. With her return to the Normandy so close at hand Tali'Zorah was almost expecting something else to go wrong.<p>

Stuck in her seat she could not decide on what to do about everything that had happened to her. Her first instinct was to tell Shepard the truth about what happened when she first saw him but Aria's warnings had not gone unheeded. She wasn't sure if the Omega outlaw would really attack the Flotilla but it was likely something that she would not find out. It was horrible but her only option seemed to be playing along with the story that Aria had nothing to do with her imprisonment.

Waiting in her semi comfortable chair for the ship to leave Tali turned her mind to more pleasant things. Though it would be impossible to know where the Normandy was without direct communication she had a good feeling about finding them in Illium. Most of their business was conducted there and they had a special port for discrete coming and going. If nothing else she could use the contacts and connections of her old friend Liara to get in touch with the Normandy. Soon there would be rejoicing, good food for once, happy friends and quite a bit of time in Shepard's cabin.

As the ship began to fill with passengers a human female with her arms covered in tattoos walked by her seat. Tali's wandering daydreams thought of Jack and then her mind turned inexorably to an awful possibility. It had been months since her death and Shepard was never lacking in possible romantic partners. Could one of them have swooped in and taken her place? No, she had to push these misgivings from her mind. She had already suffered and had her sanity tested enough. This would only serve to help punish her already battered psyche.

Instead she turned her thoughts to what exactly she would be repairing when she made it back to the Normandy. Somehow the thought of blueprints and sounds of whirring tools always made her feel better.

* * *

><p>The Presidium is never lacking in visitors or beauty and I take the chance to sit outside to eat. Today's meal was an Earth specialty called 'chimichangas'. Having never visited that lonely blue planet I didn't know exactly which part of it they came from but I'd be damned if they weren't tasty. The human friendly cuisine on the Citadel had improved since I'd first came here what felt like another life ago. If there was anywhere in the galaxy that was almost as much as a home as the Normandy it was here.<p>

Sitting by myself I am interrupted by an incoming call. Checking my omni-tool I see that it's from an encrypted source. There's only a few people who have my direct line and that would feel the need to hide themselves. It could have been anyone from the Illusive Man to a fellow Spectre so I answer politely.

"Shepard."

"Greetings." a voice artificially lowered and altered by a program said.

"Who is this?"

"An interested party. I have a proposition for you, Shepard." it morphed with heavy distortion.

"Knock it off, Liara."

The altered voice guffawed like a drugged krogan and shifted back to her real voice. "You're no fun." she said in her light, angelic tone.

"Uh huh."

"Kind of a heavy lunch, isn't it?"

I look around but there are few pedestrians and no asari. "Where are you?"

"My ship of course." she answered playfully.

"How do you know what I'm eating?"

"Look up and just to the right."

Lifting my head I spot the Presidium security camera hanging from the edge of the building in front of me. "Really? The C-Sec network?"

"You sound surprised."

Taking a bite of chimichanga I chew a little before slowly regurgitating it back onto the plate. "Oh Goddess, Shepard! Disgusting!" said with a mix of amusement and horror. Taking my fork I retrieve a bit of the expelled food and made the motion to eat it again.

"No! No, don't! Oh, gross!" she protested. I put the fork down and chuckle to myself as she likely shakes her head on the other end.

"What if someone is watching you? They're going to think you're crazy!"

"Good. Fewer people bothering me in my off time." I applaud the thought.

"How's the summit going?"

"Good. I actually don't have to speak so I'm just sitting in the back trying to sleep without anyone noticing."

"Not having fun?" she teased.

"A volus would have a hard time finding this interesting."

"That's xenophobist."

"Right. Because I have a long history of sticking it to human women."

"Shepard!" she scolded and I could almost see her blush.

"What? That's all I have to say. Aliens 2, Earth 0. The numbers don't lie."

"That...indirectly relates to what I called about." she said tentatively.

"Oh. Oh! Do tell!"

"I wanted to know if you had a chance to think about...our talk the other day."

"Is that what you call shoving your tongue down my esophagus?"

"Tch, chk, must you be so crass?"

"Oh for the angel's sake Liara, grow up. And no, I haven't had much time. I'm not just saying that to avoid answering either. I need a vacation really." I massage my forehead.

"I can arrange that."

"Yeah? Have some terminals that need to be hacked?"

"..."

"Kidding! Kidding. Jeez."

"I'm being serious."

"I know. I just don't have much to report. You have...severely complicated things."

She paused before speaking. "My hesitation cost me earlier. I'm not going to make that mistake again."

I gather my thoughts and she added, "It's not your job to fix Jack. You have enough things to worry about."

Staring at my plate of un- and half eaten food I think about what she was saying. There was some truth in her words but the reality was more complicated than that. The biotic convict was not a project of mine I tinkered with in my spare time. Prickly, easily angered and downright confusing sometimes Jack had become a constant companion since Tali's death. If it had been anyone else asking me to reconsider my relationship with her I would have flat out refused.

"Shepard...?" she said in my ear and snapped me from my reverie.

"I'm here."

"Barely."

"Just a lot on my mind right now, little wing." There was a pause on her end again and I add, "Yes, you're one of those things."

"Keep me updated. No matter what you decide. I know I'm asking a lot."

"You'll be the first to know. And I'd appreciate it if you stopped spying on me."

"Reeeeeeally." she drew out in a very human way. "Are you sure you don't like knowing that I'm watching you?"

Looking up at the camera I try to make an angry face but I couldn't. Angels curse the asari and her power over me.


	11. Hestia

The freighter pulled into Illium and Tali'Zorah was the first to impatiently disembark. Today could have been one of the rare occasions the Normandy was in port for more than a few hours and would be her best chances to catch it. Even with the stealth systems engaged and the utmost care to avoid patterns Shepard never liked to be in one place for long. Illium was where they did the most business and the crew received the most time off so it wasn't completely out of the question find the Normandy in port. Tali was counting on this to avoid having to hire another transport to get her home to wherever the ship might have been if it wasn't there.

Already in the hanger area she made for the custom port's entrance hidden in plain sight. Provided by Liara T'soni herself the dock and its security was near impenetrable. The scanning systems were C-Sec grade and the entire platform vouched for by the master assassin Thane Krios. Only a few hundred meters and an elevator ride separated her from accessing its high security door.

Tali hurried along at a fast walk but it turned into a jog bordering on a flat out run when she thought of how she could miss the Normandy by a few minutes and have to wait again to make contact with the ship. She could stop and send an extranet message but she preferred to do that after she had determined if her ship was just around the next few corners or not. Jumping down a flight of stair and spooking a couple salarian tourists she skidded into an elevator and mashed the button. The slow moving machinery seemed to take forever to get her to the proper floor and it reminded her of the ridiculously slow elevators on the first Normandy.

The doors opened and Tali scurried through the floor to the unmarked entry way that was little more than an inwardly curving alcove hiding a small lever. Built into the wall in a tucked away corner the door was seamlessly constructed so that even this could be missed or mistaken for something else. The handle housed a cleverly disguised scanner that would only open when it recognized the vitals and DNA of one of the crew.

Sliding her hand into the alcove Tali turned the lever to the left. It only took a moment for the door to scan her and it revealed itself only for a few seconds as it parted from the wall to allow her inside. Slipping into a dark room while the door automatically closed behind her Tali waited for the next step. Lights flickered on and revealed a room only a few square meters large. Blocking the path was another security door almost a meter thick and menacing turrets hung from the ceiling itching for a false ID.

"Rannoch." Tali said out loud and the security system accepted her password. The heavy security door lurched downward and slid into the floor to open the long hallway leading to the loading dock. Around forty meters in length it had enough hardware wired into it to stop a small army. Though it appeared as seamless as the door the hall housed close to thirty pop-out turrets and flip up barricades to fire from should the crew be expecting trouble.

Should even one unaccounted for person enter the hallway the defenses would spring into action. This was one reason the Normandy never had visitors board from Illium's private dock. It made Tali nervous to have that kind of killing power just centimeters away hidden in the walls and controlled by computers but there was no time to worry about that. She jogged through the empty corridor with the hollow sound of her own footsteps echoing around her. She had the morbid thought that getting cut down by their own automated defenses would just perfectly cap off her long trip back to Illium.

Bursting out of the corridor the quarian saw the sight she had been longing to see. Parked along its dock Tali breathed out a heavy sigh of relief as the beautiful white Normandy waited patiently for her. Entering at the bottom of the L in the L shaped walkway she needed only to go left and then right to come up alongside ship. Scanning it as she moved forward Tali could see nearly a dozen of the Normandy's fearless marines milling around the main hatch. Trained by Zaeed Massani they had proved to be invaluable support when the numbers against Shepard's squad were close to overwhelming. Tali did not know many of them by name but there would at least be a ranking officer she could talk to. Just in case though she approached at a walk instead of moving too quickly towards them.

Laughing, joking and smoking the marines did not notice her at first. When one spotted her the talking abruptly ceased and weapons unfolded themselves en masse. Putting her hands up Tali rounded the corner from the hanger area to the walkway parallel with the ship where the soldiers would have a clear shot at her. She could hear them whispering among each other and as she drew closer most of them let their weapons down. One of the marines who she did not recognize stepped forward and motioned her over. While humans mostly looked alike to her Tali identified this one as on the marine sergeants.

"Ma'am." he nodded as she came within speaking distance. "We thought you were KIA on Karnak."

"Close, Sergeant. Is the commander on board?"

"No ma'am. Most of the crew is on shore leave and the commander is taking meetings for most of the day."

"Ah."

"I'm sorry to ask but may I please scan you? I haven't been able to get a reading from your omni-tool."

Tali held up her arm sheepishly. "It was destroyed. Go ahead and scan."

"Thank you. EDI, can you verify?" The marine asked as his omni-tool lit up. A small blue orb popped up from his display moments later.

"Welcome back Tali'Zorah vas Normandy." EDI said.

"Thank you EDI. It is good to hear your voice." Tali smiled inside her mask and was surprised that it was true.

"I'm not getting a complete report on your current physical state from your containment suit. Are you hurt?" EDI asked.

"No, I'm fine. The suit took a bit of damage is all. Nothing I can't fix."

"I will notify engineering. Shall I alert the commander that you are here?"

"Ah...no EDI. I'd like to tell him myself. How long will he be?"

"Shepard will be in meetings for the next several hours. I can give you his current location if you prefer to meet him shore side."

"No, I'd like to get on board and relax. It's been a long trip." Tali said.

"Understood. Welcome home, Tali'Zorah." EDI said and disappeared back into the marine's omni-tool.

"May I board Sergeant?" she asked.

The marine gestured towards the airlock and Tali gleefully proceeded ahead. Though the wait always bothered her before she didn't mind the decontamination process this time. When it had finished making sure she was sterile the quarian practically skipped into the ship. Making an immediate right she headed straight down the hall towards the elevator. There were not many crew members on board but each one tried to stop her as she passed by.

"Tali!"

"Tali's alive!"

"Thank the angels! Where have you been?" they asked as they abandoned their stations to crowd around her.

"I-" she started to say.

"Tali'Zorah!" a sharp, female voice said over the small group. Yeoman Chambers slid through the crew to head over to her. "We were all so sad Tali! I'm so happy that you're okay!" she said exuberantly. Tali knew that the human would very much like to hug her at that moment but she had tried once before with mixed results. Life on a quarian ship made such close gestures uncomfortable at best.

"Thank you Kelly. It has been a trip for sure."

"What happened?" one of the gunners asked.

"All right everyone." Kelly turned the others. "I'm sure we'll all get the story later. Right now Miss vas Normandy needs to get back to her quarters for debriefing. Come on now, there's a lot we have to talk about."

Not sure what was going on Tali nevertheless nodded and waved to the crew as she followed the yeoman to the elevators behind the large galaxy map.

"What did you want to talk about?" Tali asked.

"Hmm? Oh that, I was just getting you out of there." Kelly smiled prettily. "I'd like to hear what happened but right now you look like you could use some serious R&R."

"You can say that again." Tali said as she summoned the elevator. "I'd like to speak with the commander before doing anything else."

"Understood. I'm very happy to have you back and I'm quite a bit relieved to be honest." the human said excitedly.

"Relieved?"

"The commander...was not well since you've been away. He is only just now recovering. Your presence should improve his mood considerably and everyone will be glad to have him back in good spirits. That man has enough burdens as it is."

"Thank you Kelly. I'm pleased to be home for sure."

The elevator opened and Tali waved goodbye to Chambers. Ready to be truly comfortable for the first time in months Tali headed in and could not wait to be dropped off at Shepard's cabin. Already her stomach was aflutter with the thought of curling up in Shepard's bed and waiting for him. When the doors opened again the quarian walked straight into the loft like she normally would. To her complete surprise both Liara T'soni and Jack were in the middle of an argument just inside the cabin.

Done up in a shimmering asari dress and sparkling jewelry Liara looked like she was ready for a night on the town. Incredibly the biotic convict was also in a dress though much more modest than the asari's. Wearing a plain, white thing that hung loosely down to her knees Jack also almost comically had on her trademark giant boots as well. If it wasn't so bizzare Tali might have had something to say but at the moment she was confounded by the mere sight of the two of them where they shouldn't be.

They were yelling at each other but stopped and froze like they had seen a ghost. "Tali!" they both exclaimed.

"Hi...what...what is going on here?" the quarian asked.

"Tali you're alive!" Liara said almost dumbfounded.

"Holy crap." Jack blurted.

"It's good to see you two but...what are you doing in Shepard's cabin? Why are you arguing? What's with your clothes Jack? Are you going to an opera Liara? Why aren't either one of you looking at me?"

"What happened to you?" Liara asked very quickly. "Where have you been?"

"It's a long story but I'm back. Now what's going on here?"

Eyes cast downward Liara said, "We...I am glad you're alive Tali. We thought we had lost you."

Jack looked like Tali had just asked her the answer to a very complex mathematical she couldn't quite figure out. "Yeah..." the convict trailed off.

"What...what exactly were the two of you arguing about?" the quarian asked.

"I think...maybe we should talk." Liara suggested.

* * *

><p>The salarian representative drones on and on about his position about the trade agreement. For the moment I'm stuck listening to him and the turian after him and the human after him talk about their various issues that have to be hammered out. Head resting my fist propped on the table I study the reptilian-like scales on the salarian's face as he speaks. I'm trying to decide if he looks more like a chameleon or an iguana when he said, "Don't you agree Commander Shepard?"<p>

I wasn't listening at all but I say, "Ah, yes, I do but we must consider all sides of the issue." The salarian looks pleased and I wonder if I've just screwed something up politically. Resolving to pay more attention I try not to do the same thing to the turian when he speaks.

For some reason I get the impression that a catastrophe is happening right now. It didn't have anything to do with the meeting but I had a premonition that something terrible was occurring right at that moment. Unable to think of a good explanation for the meeting going awry I shrug it off as my mind trying to entertain itself and settle in for the turian delegate's speech.

Something still felt wrong though.

* * *

><p>"How could the two of you!" Tali raged. "I'm so mad I can't even think straight!" she threw her hands up as she paced in front of the two of them. The asari was clinging to herself in guilt while the human looked bored by the entire process.<p>

"I can't believe this! Liara, we used to fight together! I know Shepard was with you then but I never tried to get in the middle of that. Jack, we've been through this already and we agreed he would decide! What is wrong with the two of you!? Keelah! You're lucky I don't shoot you both! And then Shepard when he has the nerve to come back in here!"

"It's not how I wanted things to go Tali." Liara started. Crossing her arms the quarian did all but tap her foot as the asari went on. "At first I just wanted to help him get over your death. He was a mess. Wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, drank constantly, thought only about killing pirates. I guess I didn't realize how I still felt for him after all this time."

Still incensed Tali turned her glare to Jack. "What? You were supposed to be dead." the convict shrugged.

"You know I respect you Tali." Liara said. "We've been through a lot like you said. I would have never done anything to jeopardize what you have. But as far as we knew you were gone."

"The pureblood's got a point." Jack said casually. "Neither of us made a move when you were around. You would have done the same thing if it was one of us dead and you alive. Can't be that mad."

Tali started to say something but the words didn't come out. If things had happened differently that very well may have been the case. Not just once but twice over it could have been one of these two in Shepard's cabin instead of her. In fact only his death separated him from Liara in the first place. This was something the quarian had never quite been able to come to terms with.

"I can understand if you're angry with us." the asari in question said. "I am truly sorry."

"No," Tali shook her head, "it's true. When we ran into you again on Illium my first thought was to hope that too much time had passed between the two of you. I was glad when I saw that I had a chance. Things just kind of happened. I was too shy the first time I was on the Normandy and I wasn't going to do that again when Shepard asked me to join him."

Sitting down with them Tali managed to calm herself down as she spoke. "I see the way his face lights up when you're around Liara. I don't like it but it's true. He pretends like that picture on his desk doesn't mean anything but I know it always did. And you Jack. I know he admires your strength and wants to help you improve. I'm still not happy with either of you but if I were in your shoes I would have done the same."

They sat in a stifling silence. For the millionth time Tali was glad that her mask concealed all but the most obvious expressions. "Well, what do we do now?" Jack asked.

"Perhaps we should agree to find a way to put this to rest once and for all." Liara suggested.

"A fight to the death?" Jack said eagerly.

"Um...no. A peaceful solution to this...Shepard problem."

"Whoa, hold on a second!" Jack protested. "This ain't no problem! You two can fuck right off. You-" she pointed an accusing finger at Liara, "shouldn't even be here. And you, you were supposed to be dead. He's moved on, twice. Time to look elsewhere."

"He only took interest in you because he thought I was gone!" the quarian argued.

"Right...right. Whatever you need to tell yourself."

"She has a point, Jack." Liara commented.

"Don't even get me started on you. Everything was going perfect until you started 'visiting'."

"If you weren't a violent criminal I wouldn't have felt the need to step in." the asari said evenly. "Shepard needs a partner, not another head ache."

"What did you just say?"

"All right, let's calm down." Tali put her hands up. "Why don't we go downstairs, get some drinks and cool off a little?"

"Good idea."

"...fine."

* * *

><p>Sitting in the mess hall by themselves the three of them sipped at race appropriate beverages and didn't speak. As the instigator of the event Tali felt obligated to get the ball rolling. "So...what did I miss?" she asked.<p>

"We blew up an offshore oil rig a couple of weeks ago. That was pretty awesome." Jack spoke up.

"Sub Admiral Rheeta was exposed for having an affair in Flotilla news." Liara added.

"Oh. Oh my, that's going to cause some problems." Tali nodded. "I like your dress by the way."

"Thank you, Tali. It's from Thessia." the asari said and looked over at Jack. Her simple white outfit looked like a rag in comparison and the glance did not go unnoticed by the convict. She made a gun with her index and middle finger before putting it to her temple. Glaring at Liara she made a firing motion that Tali hoped was a joke. Unperturbed the acting Shadow Broker brought up her large purse and pulled from it a heavy pistol that telescoped out in her hand. Pointing it at a very startled Subject Zero she 'fired' it at her complete with imaginary kickback before dropping it back into her purse.

"I'd like to spend the night with Shepard when he gets back." Tali said to turn their attention from each other. "Can I have that at least?"

"I have no objections." Liara said. "I think it would be good for you both."

"Nothing better happen." Jack warned. "You're not going to screw this up for me again."

Standing the convicted huffed an annoyed breath out. "I'm going to go change before someone sees me."

* * *

><p>I reflect on the productive day as I head through the Normandy's many levels. A trade agreement had been hammered out and several new companies had approached the Normandy's dummy corporations about designing entire product lines around Mordin's tech breakthroughs. It would mean the Iwo Jima would be completed that much sooner if the products were successful and that many more credits in the doctor's pocket. Many times I offered to have Mordin retire and live comfortably on his achievements but he wouldn't hear it. Said as long as the Reapers were a threat he would stay in the lab to fight them and moreover it would not look good on his biography vid to retire with work unfinished.<p>

I wasn't about to complain but if we ever made it out of this alive I did hope at least some of my crew could return to normal lives. At the very least I could use the credits we'd made to give them a reasonable retirement fund. Between our dealings and the credits Liara could summon almost instantly I'm sure that my crew would be well taken care of the rest of their lives. That is, of course, if the Reapers left anything behind during their inevitable attack.

In a curiously good mood I stroll into my cabin for a celebratory glass of wine. I was easing off of alcohol in general and my liver was probably thankful for it. By my estimates I figured in less than a solar year I'd be able to go a day without missing Tali. It was not much of a consolation but something to look forward to at least. Reaching for a glass I set it on the desk and retrieve some good Earth wine from the stash underneath it.

"Little early isn't it?" someone asked from nearby.

"Ghyyaaaaaa!" I say while dropping the bottle to the floor. It bounces loudly and is mercifully intact as this kind of wine is not easy to come by. Flustered I pick it up and stomp down the stairs to chew someone out.

"Do I need a goddamn DNA scanner on my-" I start.

"...door." I trail off as I see Tali'Zorah vas Normandy waiting on the edge of my bed. The hallucination is rendered in perfect detail just the way I remember her. The lines and nicks in her suit from combat and the face plate that just barely conceals her face are flawless. I can see the perfect gleam of the room's light on her purple visor that I had dreamed of many a night. The bed is even creased by her non-existent weight as if she was really sitting there. I shake my head and slap myself on the cheek to make sure I'm awake.

"EDI?" I ask.

"Yes, Commander?"

"Notify Dr. Chukwas and Yeoman Chambers that I'm hallucinating. I think I'm having an episode or something."

"Not so Commander. The life form in your room is undoubtedly the real Tali'Zorah. She has been scanned multiple times and her password is verified. I would not allow an imposter to board the ship."

"I'm real Shepard." the possibly phantom Tali said gently. "Come sit."

"EDI?"

"Yes?"

"What if I'm just imagining you telling me she's real?"

"Would you please excuse us EDI? We have a lot to catch up on." the almost assuredly real Tali asked the ship.

"Of course. Logging out of the room." EDI said and went silent.

I move cautiously down the stairs. Every sense I have is warning me that this a trap and that there's something wrong. "Okay then. If you're really Tali then you'll know something about her I don't."

"Really Shepard? At a time like this?" she said in exasperation, suspiciously just the way Tali would.

"Humor me then if you're real."

"Agh, fine. I searched for appropriate music to wait for you here. I found a not so well hidden stack of magazines I'm not very happy about called Forn-"

"Ach cha! Enough!" I interrupt. "I believe you now!"

Taking slow steps I finally sit beside her. A three fingered hand rests on my leg and examine it like I've never seen something like it before. My own trembling fingers rest on hers and the gloved hand is as segmented, rough, cool like it should be. Moving up her arms I come to a damaged part of her suit. Deformed by heat it had been shoddily repaired but it was enough to keep the suit functioning. Her beautiful, hand woven shawl was gone and replaced by an ugly brown material not nearly as impressive. My gaze move to her face and I can just barely see her bright eyes underneath the purplish plate.

"Where...what happened to you?" I breathe.

Her arms come up around me and I crush her plated body to mine. The past few months have felt like a waking nightmare that I was just now coming out of. She sobs softly into my shoulder and I am tempted to do the same but I can't. No weakness, ever, even in front of her when we're all alone. Not after everything I'd done while she was gone. Now was the time to be strong.

"I...I didn't think I was ever going to see you again." she said.

"You made it." I soothe. "What happened? Where have you been?"

"I wasn't killed on Karnak. There was a river, some pirates, a box, long story. I will tell you all about it later."

I release her long enough for us to lay back down on the bed. "Clean the room." I order the air and the machines obediently begin to filter out the room's air. I try to keep myself composed but everything is so surreal. For months I had wished for five minutes, two minutes, even thirty seconds to tell her how I felt. Now everything I had gone through and wished for was completely unnecessary.

Time passes by as I adjust my thinking on reality. The quarian stirs at my side and I allow her to take hold of my hand. Perhaps she had been taken away and brought back just to teach me a lesson on life's inconstancy. Perhaps somewhere a deity felt bad for me and gave back to me what I had been wishing for every day.

"What are you thinking?" she asked in that high, soft voice that sounded like music.

"What aren't I thinking?" I ask more to myself. "I'm thinking about how much things have sucked. I'm thinking about I have dreamed of this. I would have given anything just to see you one more time. To tell you how I feel. To say a proper good bye."

"You don't have to anymore." she reminded me. "I heard you took things a bit hard when I was gone."

"Hard is a relative term."

"I saw the Boot gang's hideout. What was left of it."

This catches me off guard. I didn't think anyone from the ship would be able to find the base after me. I strain to remember if I had been thorough covering my tracks before leaving but it had been a crazy day.

"You left the video data." she said, reading my mind again even after all this time.

"What of it?" I try to play off.

"Don't pretend it isn't a big deal Shepard. Why would you do that? What if something happened to you down there?"

"I...didn't care at the time."

"If I made it back here only to find you had been killed doing something that stupid I would resurrect you again just to kill you myself." Tali grumbled.

"Easy. I've already gotten enough from everyone else about it."

Lifting her head up she looked down on me with glowing quarian eyes. "Promise me you will never do something like that again."

"I can't make that promise." I shake my head. "I might have to do something like that in the future out of necessity and break my promise."

"If I'm dead I won't rest peacefully if I know you're putting yourself in foolish danger for my sake. If you absolutely have to do something that insane at least take Garrus with you."

"...fine."

Time passes blissfully. The subconscious hum of the filtering units abruptly ends and effectively announces that the room is clean. "Do you want to.." she asked.

"Yes but not yet. Right now I just want to get my head wrapped around this." I say with complete honesty. The truth was I didn't know quite how to respond to the situation. On the surface my problems were over but I knew they were just beginning. With Tali alive the situation with Jack and Liara went from untenable to impossible.

I try not to think about it as I help Tali out of her suit. She'll have to be content with just laying here until the next day when I could sort this out. I hope that I would have worked out in my mind what I was going to do by then.


	12. Eris

Typing on my terminal the following afternoon I'm in one of the best moods of my life. With Tali back and things on the road returning to normal I couldn't be more pleased. There was a notice of a delay on the Iwo Jima and it didn't even faze me. Next month brings us nearby Karnak and I planned to visit to personally thank Ghulya and Dr. Kale planetside. I would see if there was any way the mindartians could be helped even with our already vast correspondence.

Sitting on my desk is a rare treat that had arrived that morning by shuttle. It was a rare golden delicious apple sent straight from Earth that I had never tasted before. Supposedly they were dying out on the planet and there would not be many places that the seed would grow. I had intended on sharing it with Tali if it wasn't toxic to her kind but she had yet to return from her welcoming party. No matter. That simply gave me more time to think about what I would do about both Jack and Liara when I saw them again.

I heard the elevator open outside my cabin but instead of one set of light, triple-toed feet I heard multiple pairs. My gut instantly tightens and I know immediately that something is very, very wrong. My instincts scream at me to get out of there but unbelievably I have no escape hatch built into my cabin.

The door to my quarters opens and I swirl around to see Tali flanked by Liara and Jack. They file into the room and stand in front of me with three sets of crossed, unhappy arms.

"Uh oh." I manage to say to myself.

"We've been talking." Tali announced. That funny feeling of danger I felt yesterday returns too late. Realizing now that it was a warning I did not heed I curse my own lack of perception. Looking at each of their faces I see no smiles or good cheer for Shepard on them.

Adjusting in my seat uncomfortably I pull at my collar. "Is it hot in here or is Jacob in the other room doing sit-ups shirtless again? Ha ha..."

The joke takes flight, arcs in the air, loses altitude and violently crashes onto the floor from where it left my mouth. It could only have gone worse if one of them had stomped the dying joke into the floor with a contemptuous heel. I search for an escape route but unfortunately the three of them are blocking the only exit. I try to think of some way to distract them to make an escape but unfortunately all of the flashbang grenades are in the armory.

"We know all about each other." Tali said sternly. "Is there anything you have to say for yourself?"

There's no hint of compassion or understanding in any of them. "Are you going to kill me?" I ask meekly.

"Maybe." Jack grunted.

"I'd just like to remind all of you that harming me will greatly affect the future and the fight against the Reapers." I say in desperation. "I'd also like to announce to all of you that I have become a disciple of the Etheus Memoriae, a religion that promotes multiple partners from different worlds. As a member I am able to choose no more than three life partners to share everything with. I will understand if this is a bit sudden of a revelation but believe me when I say that I love all of you exactly the same and would be happy to take you all as my pupate-wives."

This threw most them into complete disarray and I knew I had momentarily staved off death or at the very least a severe beating. Both Liara and Tali looked like I had just announced that I intended to grow a second head but Jack appeared to be completely unsurprised by the whole thing if a little annoyed. They all looked at each other before as I went on, "Now I can understand this is a bit of a shock but why don't we take a walk and chat about this new development?"

If I can get us to the CIC I can at least duck into an escape pod or crawl into a duct but Liara snapped her fingers. "Now I know where I've heard that before." she said. "The Etheus Memoriae is a Prothean discovery in hanar space made some 200 years ago."

"Oh yeah! Blasto had to stop a human colony from bull dozing it once." Jack chimed in.

Tali glared at me from under her mask. "Shepard?"

"Damn historian!" I curse the asari.

"No more games Shepard. This will be the end of it. You get to choose." Tali said, pointing her finger at me. "That will be it. No more talking, suggesting, checking up from anyone here. It will be final. Understand?"

"Hey, come on ladies, we're all friends here, let's talk-"

"Shut up and choose." Jack growled. "Before we tie you up and dunk you in your aquarium."

"You know none of you are making yourselves particularly attractive to me right now." I say. "For people who want me to make a choice like this on the spot you're not being very accommodating."

"For the record, I was here first." Tali reminded me.

"Actually, I was first." Liara corrected her. "If it wasn't for me Shepard would be Collector paste right now or worse."

"Whatever." Jack said. "Would you rather have one of these soft alien bitches or someone that would blow up anything that tried to fuck with you?"

I was acutely aware of my battle capabilities at that precise moment. A cloaking device would have been optimal for escaping this situation but no, I had to choose close quarters biotics and gear. I knew should have trained as an infiltration specialist. If anyone told I would have been in this situation I might have steered my courses that way.

"Well Shepard?"

I gulp. Reaching over to my desk I unwrap the solitary Earth apple and offer it to the three angry women in front of me. "Would anyone like to try this?" I ask.

Did I mention how much I hated making decisions?

Tali ======/ / \ \ ====== Liara

(([[[[[]]]])))

Jack ====== \\ / ====== None!


	13. Upper Left

Waiting for me to move none of them step forward to accept my offering. I had the impression that even if I did what they wanted I was till in for a beating or at the very least a berating. It was time to do render a verdict and a knot of worry formed in my stomach. This was going to hurt.

Standing I take a deep breath and extend the apple to the quarian. She delicately took it with her three fingered hand and Jack's face twisted in anger. I wait for the blow to come but she said vengefully, "My shrink hates you." and stomped her giant boots out of the room. The asari watched her go before turning to me.

"Liara..." I begin but she simply shakes her head and makes her exit as well. Rubbing my eyes I sit back down and a wave of depression rolls over me. Saddened greatly I knew that there could be no peaceful outcome to this situation. Covering my eyes I don't see Tali come to sit on my lap. Even with her suit she hardly weighed a thing. Putting her arm across my shoulders she looked down on my from behind her face mask.

"You did what you had to, Shepard." she reassured me.

"I hate it when people tell me that. It never makes me feel any better." I say.

"They'll understand." she said. "Well, Liara will."

"I know I did what was right but I feel like I let them down." I sigh.

She lifted my chin up with one smooth, metal covered digit. "You didn't let me down."

"No, I suppose not." I reluctantly agree.

"I went through hell and get back to you, Shepard. I would have never forgiven you if I came back only to find out one of them had taken my place."

I nod but it didn't help. "Well, I'll try to smooth things out with them later. I still have quite a bit to do today."

"Of course. And I have some adjustments to make to my suit and quarian team in anxious to talk to me. I'll leave you a little while...but I'm sleeping here tonight."

"I'd like that."

"You know I can't eat this, right?" she held up the apple.

* * *

><p>The next few days are a blur. There's a galaxy to manage from my desk but thankfully Tali rarely leaves my room. She can't risk staying out of her suit the entire time but does so as much as possible while I spend hours at my terminal. My job is stressful enough but she was always there to talk to and made it bearable. I had to be amazed by her story to get back to the Normandy and how many close calls she had. It seemed a had a great debt to the mindartians on Karnak and the physician that nursed her back to health.<p>

Finally finishing my work for the day I join her down on the black leather couch that seemed to be the most important piece of furniture I had. I put on a nature vid detailing the life cycle of the large worms found in the Hadria cluster.

"Shepard?" she asked.

"Yes Tali?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"If I hadn't come back..."

"You did." I refute.

"But if I didn't." she insisted.

"Let's not talk about it." I suggest. "It's pointless."

She was quiet for a few seconds and I knew that the conversation wasn't over. "Which one?"

"Sorry?"

"Which one would you have picked? Jack or Liara?"

"Dammit woman! Let it go!"

"I can't!" she cried. "How am I supposed to forget about it? I found them arguing outside your cabin door about who was talking you out that night when I came back!"

I sigh. That would explain a lot about Jack's new found hatred for the asari. "I can't tell you what would have happened. But I do know that's it's irrelevant with you here."

She took in a deep breath and turned her head away from me which I knew meant she wasn't happy. "What do you want me to tell you, Tali? That I don't care about either of them?"

"That's exactly the problem! Whenever they're around you never make it clear that you're not interested!"

"What are you suggesting? That I treat them like dirt just to make sure they know I'm not available?" I ask incredulously.

"No, well, I don't know. Liara at least isn't on the ship anymore but Jack, she's just waiting for a chance to get at you and always has been."

"Not anymore she won't be." I grumble.

"She was mad at you before the first time this happened and that didn't stop her from showing up here."

"And I cast her aside again, for you." I remind her. "You have nothing to worry about."

Thinking about it she took my hand in her six fingers. "I'm sorry. It's just hard sometimes when I compare myself to the others and wonder what it is you see in me."

Gripped her shoulders I pull the quarian over to me. "You worry about keeping yourself healthy. I'll take care of the rest.

She nodded and hugged me. We spend a few peaceful moments like this with only her suit in between us and it occurs to me that it might just have to go.

"I don't remember...is the room sterile?" I ask deviously.

"Ah..." she balked. "Actually I'm a little beat up from the last few days. Can we skip...that...tonight?"

"Eh..." I shrug. "I guess I have been riding you pretty hard lately."

"...luckily my immunity to you is still intact."

"Well all right. Can I get drunk then at least?" I ask.

"You get...grabby when you drink, Shepard." she said nervously.

"Best lock your suit up tight then." I grin.

"We'll just have to have a one night no touching rule." she suggested.

"No touching just makes it hotter."

She sighs and brings up her omni-tool as I reach for a bottle.

* * *

><p>The tent flap opened as the dusty mindartian scuttled in to get out of the always shifting sands. Setting down his pistols, the first of their kind made for his physiology, Ghulya observed an age old custom of shedding weapons when entering a place of peace. It occurred to the Karnak native that this custom too may have to end in order to advance the cause of his people.<p>

"Ghulya!" someone's chirps he did not recognize immediately came to his ear canals. The mindartian leader was surprised to see that the human Leslie had brought the quarian Tali'Zorah along with him to their meeting.

"Ma'am! Ghulya is happy to see you!" he bowed with his forelegs

"Good yo see you again." she clicked oddly with her mask distortion giving her a slightly robotic quality. "There's someone I'd like you to meet though."

From farther in the hut came a human clad in black armor the mindartian knew immediately was a warrior. From his armor and menacing aura the mindartian recognized the savior of his people instantly. He wasn't particularly large for an alien but something in the way he moved belied an almost animal grace. When the human Shepard clicked his words were clear, personable but had a layer of stone underneath them.

"Hello, I've heard a lot about you. I'm Commander Shepard and I've come to thank you for bringing Tali'Zorah back to me."

Kneeling down in front of him the human Shepard produced a small brush. Ghulya was frozen stiff as he said, "Dr. Kale informed me that this a sign of respect and thanks among your people."

Gently lifting the bottom of this dark robes the human Shepard began swiping the sand and dirt from the lowest edge of the fabric. It was too much. Ghulya's eyestalks receded down into safety and his legs gave out as he fell over.

* * *

><p>The mindartian slumped over to the side and I put my hands up instinctually to show that I didn't do it. "Uh..."<p>

"Oh my. I think he's fainted." the doctor said.

"What did I do wrong?" I ask in confusion.

"Nothing, Commander. Your presence and humility were simply too much for him to take. I told you that he admires you greatly."

"Will he be okay?" Tali asked.

"Oh sure. He'll wake up in a bit. I'm going to enjoy needling him about it for a while though." the good natured doctor laughed.

Rising and somewhat confused I reach my hand out to the kindly human. "I can't thank you enough, doctor."

"No Commander, I'll tell you what I told your crew mate here. What we did for her is a paltry excuse for thanks compared to what you have done for Karnak. If there's anything we can do for you against the Reaper machines, the entire mindartian race is at your disposal."

"Careful doctor, I may take you up on that." I grin.

"It was good to see you again, Leslie." Tali said and hugged the older man.

"Likewise, Miss vas Normandy. Please visit as often as possible. Your company is always welcome here."

Waving he headed back out into the sands and towards the waiting shuttle. Tali locks her hand together with mine as we walk through the hot dunes. I look over at her and smile under my helmet. I can't see her features but I know that she's smiling too. Sometimes things work out in the end after all.

The End


	14. Bottom Left

Three pairs of angry eyes stare me down as I extend the fine Earth-born fruit to them. There's simply no way to get out unscathed. Regardless of the choice I make, someone's going to get hurt and hate me for it. I take a deep breath and get to my feet. Knowing full well that I'm going to catch hell for this I hand the apple to Jack.

"Yes!" she pumped her fist and snatched it away from me. Curling her lip in victory she bit deep into the fruit and gnashed her teeth noisily as she ate it.

"I can't believe you." Tali coldly simmered and I could tell she was barely keeping her rage in check. "Her? Really?"

"Welp, now you know how I felt, bitch." the convict sneered.

"Jack. You're not helping." I warn her. The quarian gives me one last disgusted look before she stormed out of my cabin. Liara watched her go but hers was a reaction of resigned disappointment and sadness.

"I hope the two of you are happy." she said quietly and her reserved disapproval stung even more than Tali's harsh tone. Dipping her head she was looking at the ground when she left. I watch her go with a neutron star in the center of my chest and it dragged me back down to my seat.

"Oh fuck yeah, that was great!" Jack exalted. "The look on their faces!"

"This isn't fun for me, you know."

"Give me a break, Shepard! I've been waiting years for this. My shrink is going to be so excited."

I was suddenly weary and still had a considerable amount of work to do. "I'm happy that you're happy. Just realize that I've burned a couple of bridges with two people I care about."

"Fuck 'em. They had their chance. You're on my time now, dumbass."

"Well this is going...exactly as I expected, actually." I muse.

"I'm gonna go downstairs and start moving my stuff around like I'm getting ready to bring it up here. That should make claw hands freak out." she said gleefully.

"Subject Zero!" I snap my fingers and am quickly annoyed by her attempts to make the situation worse. "Antagonize Tali any more than you already have and I'll throw you back in that cryo cell I found you in!"

She started to say something snarky but saw the look in my eyes and stopped herself. "You really care that much about what they think...?"

"Even if they weren't valuable allies that we still need, it's more than that and you know it. It would be the same for you if I'd chosen differently."

"They're pushy alien wenches." she shook her head.

"Ones that I was close to in more ways than one. I'd still go to the ends of the galaxy for them."

Staring at me Jack's anger built into a rage that twisted her face when she spoke. "Gotta be shitting me. You can't even let me have this for a second? Tch. You want them so badly, take 'em back. Go to hell, Shepard." she said contemptuously and followed suit with the other two. Stomping her way out of my cabin the biotic convict's loud boots echo only for a few seconds and then the room is quiet again.

Blankly I stare at the fish tank before shaking myself out of my stupor. I don't know how I managed to screw up all my major female relationships in one afternoon but it would add it to the list of incredible things I'd done. That Subject Zero managed to still be angry with me despite the sacrifice I made for her was an especially nice touch. There remained duties to attend to and resisting the urge to get blitzed and drunk dial Kelly Chambers I know I have to do them. Turning to my desk I started typing again and wonder if this day could get any worse.

* * *

><p>The next few solar cycles aren't particularly pleasant ones and it was somewhat comforting that I was swamped with things to do. On the crew front Tali wouldn't speak to me and there had been no communications from Liara about anything despite long messages to them both. I avoided Jack and the cargo bay like the plague and exited from the airlock when arriving to a planet. Suffering through my third meeting in as many days I'm on Omega trying to hammer out the details of a slave trade curbing agreement that isn't going well. If batarians in general didn't like me already these ones could barely keep themselves from attacking on sight. It would end poorly for them; unfortunately for diplomatic reasons I would have to let them live if they tried anything.<p>

The meeting adjourns for the day and I'm the first one out of the door. I decide to stroll Omega to get some fresh air and perhaps give a hit squad a good chance to ambush me in an alley somewhere but I have no such luck. I am however quickly reminded that Omega smells like a dumpster for corpses that someone peed on and I soon make my way back to the Normandy.

Passing through the airlock I enter the ship's elevator without stopping for small talk on the way in. Walking into my cabin I'm on a mission and it's a liquid one. Snatching a bottle from my thoroughly depleted stock of good Earth red I head down to the couch. I am surprised to find Jack waiting for me. Looking at me from the corner of her eye she doesn't greet me or acknowledge my presence and all I can think to say is, "Oh."

"Hey." she responded as she always did.

I sit down with her close enough to rub shoulders and she keeps looking straight ahead as if I'm not there. "Still mad at me?"

"Yes. No." she mumbled. I smirk to myself and start tug the cork out of my bottle when I am again surprised by Subject Zero. She reached over to stop me mid-pull and I do a double take as she looks me dead in the eyes.

"Eh?"

"You drink too much, Shepard." she said. Yanking the bottle from my hand she push the cork snugly back in place and set it on the table. "You use booze to temporarily lower your stress level and it stops you from dealing with your problems." Jack continued. "So as long as I'm here you won't be drinking. At all."

I am unable to keep a bemused chuckle from escaping my lips. "So you're my doctor now?"

"You could probably use therapy yourself, given the shit you've done and put up with. You should think about it."

I could not outwardly scoff without upsetting her but the notion was ridiculous. I didn't have a drinking problem and I sure as hell didn't need therapy. I'd lost crew members, died, and survived a Thresher Maw attack when my entire unit was wiped out to still manage to come out the other side unscathed. Still, lying to Jack wasn't an option.

"I'll...consider it." I concede.

"Good."

"But why does it matter to you? Last I checked, you told me to go to hell."

"Stop being a dick, I didn't mean it." she snapped.

I hold my hands up in surrender and say, "I'm sorry. I had a long day at the office. Why don't we do something fun?"

"What do you want to watch?" she changed the subject. "We've already seen every Blasto one except for the one where he plays his own female twin, Blastorella."

"Ugh, the series really went downhill after the seventh one. Put it on I guess."

Kicking off my shoes I stretch out and lay my feet across her lap as I rest my head on the other end of the couch. She doesn't throw me off which is a good sign as the movie started. For the first fifteen minutes or so I follow it but Subject Zero kept catching my eye. She always watched comedies with an idiotic look of wonder the convict never showed at any other time. I'm admiring her profile when she catches me and adjusts to return my stare with her dark eyes. Usually she only locks on like this in order to glare but at the moment we're simply regarding each other for a few long seconds.

In that moment I make a decision and say, "Come, lay down on me."

She hesitates but the killer biotic nevertheless slunk over to me on all fours and laid her mostly bare torso on top of mine. Despite the whirlwind of ferocity she is capable of she was light and her tattooed head barely registered against the rhythmic rising of my lungs. I rest one arm across her back and let my fingers fall on her lower ribs as we both settle in to watch the rest of the movie. Her giggling vibrates through my chest and seeing her happy for once pierces through it.

When the credits roll the room is still darkened and the drop down screen retreated back into the ceiling above my bed. It strikes me that Jack and I had never actually been this physically close before. We had made flirting contact, kissed a couple of times during our tumultuous love triangle with Tali but nothing like this. Weariness from the interminable day made me exceedingly comfortable and I am soon lulled into a light sleep by her warm body. I don't know how much time passed but when Jack stirs she brings me out of a few sleep levels.

"Shepard?" she whispered in the dark and I groggily open my eyes. I can barely see her but there is just enough light to make out her features. With our faces just millimeters away I see in her eyes I saw something I'd never seen before or even glimpsed a hint of. Subject Zero was emotional, she was scared and she was _vulnerable_. I did not know what was to come next but I did know it was going to be extremely important.

"Shepard..." she whispered again and her voice was thick with tension. "You're not like all the others are you?"

"No, Jack." I promise.

"Are you going to leave?"

"Not unless I'm dead Jack and even that might not stop me. You will always have someone and somewhere to come back to as long as I'm breathing."

She started to cry. Every other emotion of hers I could handle but this was new and highly unexpected. I did not know what to do for a minute or so as she softly wept into my expensive suit. Deciding that I couldn't just let this continue without doing something I acted. Jack was responsive as I lift her chin up unhurriedly with my hand. On that often tough, angry face streaking with eyeliner I see a lifetime of hurt and pain coupled with a fear I couldn't quite place. It took me a few seconds to realize that it was a fear of rejection and being truly open with someone else ever again. Pulling her forward ever so slightly I kiss the crying biotic very gently. It was not a kiss of passion but a warm, soft message that everything she was going through would be okay.

Jack trembled and I broke from her only to dry her face with my sleeve. Running a hand past her brow and ear as I would do with a woman with hair I smile at her. She doesn't smile back and sets her head back down on me. I continue to stroke her smooth cranium and as we lay there in the dark her sobbing lessens. It is not long before she stops completely and I begin to fall asleep again. My hand slides off of her and I feel my elbow hit the couch to slow my descent into sleep. It only wakes me for a brief moment and I continue slipping away to unconsciousness.

I'm dimly aware of something happening to my neck. Rousing myself to see what the trouble was I realize that Jack was kissing me. Blinking as I rapidly came to she lifted her face up as I tilted mine to see what was going on. There was a gleam in her eyes which signaled a radical shift from that fragile state to something much stronger and more primal. This was a look that I had indeed seen from her before and the open suggestion was not lost on me. She bit her bottom lip while her hands gripped the sides of my chest and the convict eyed me like a piece of meat.

"You're sure this is what you want?" I whisper. Shoving her face together with mine her tongue parted my lips and forced its way into my mouth. Her grip on me tightened as I crushed her to me in a heated embrace and we writhed together in a tangled mess as we kissed. She gives me air for only a moment in order to bite down on my shoulder so hard I gasp a little.

* * *

><p>The next morning I woke to find myself alone in my bed. It was just as well; after two more rounds with Jack the previous night I wasn't sure I could slake her tremendous lust without a recovery period. I stumbled towards the shower as the angels knew I needed a thorough cleaning. Though if they had been watching us they probably needed one too.<p>

* * *

><p>I was in a good mood the next few days. The crew seemed less annoying, the number of emails I had to sort through didn't bother me and even the food was tolerable. It wasn't difficult to figure out the cause of this optimism. I did not know if this thing with Jack would last but I know that I'd felt better than I had in months. The aftershocks of Karnak were beginning to disappear and everything was righting itself. I was confident that even the friction with the other women it my life could be healed.<p>

Night hours are in effect when I find my way back to the Normandy from Illium's bright evening lights. For a city that never slept it sure made me weary most of the time when I spent the night in it. I get a few nods from the marines stationed outside as I head in through the airlock. Patiently waiting for the lasers to decontaminate me I walk through the dark bridge and at this hour only a handful of security personnel are up. No one bothers me but I know that this isn't because they're avoiding me anymore.

Hitting the elevator button to my cabin it occurs to me that I haven't seen Jack since we spent the night together. Heading down to the cargo bay instead of my room I trample down the steps with exaggerated noise to let her know I'm coming. Curiously Subject Zero had formed a wall of junk blocking access to her cave on this side of the steps. Reversing direction I go down the other side and have to wonder what made the cranky biotic expand her territory.

Entering her sanctum it is more cluttered than the last time I saw it and some how had less light. Jack had given herself enough space to form a tiny art studio in her corner of the ship. There were a half dozen unfinished pieces on canvas strewn about the blast radius of her main easel. Set onto it was a large piece smeared with broad swipes of red, black and white. It had been done hastily and violently but the composition held a certain beauty.

Taking it from the easel I traced the texture of the dry pigment with my fingertips. It was actually Liara who taught me to appreciate art; she had helped set up the safe house here on Illium where I had stashed most of the contents of Hock's vault. I could not tell if this particular painting was new or old but it was good to see Jack changing.

"Hey!" I heard a familiar, angry voice behind me. Twisting my head around I see the subject in question striding forward with her hands balled up tight. She stops in her tracks when she sees who it is and relaxes considerably as she unclenches her fists. "Oh. It's you." she said rather nonchalantly.

"Thought I was a crew member rummaging through your stuff?"

"If you were you'd be dead by now." she promised as she went to sit on the edge of her cot like she always did. Setting her painting down I stand in front of her with my hands in my pockets.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Came to see you."

"Psssssh." she snorted. "Why?"

"Because I felt like it?"

"Yeah well, just because we fucked doesn't make us a couple or anything." she said without looking me in the eyes.

"Oh. All right." I accept and am genuinely caught off guard. "Can't say I'm not disappointed but if that's what you want."

"It's better this way." she nodded but wasn't happy in the slightest.

Perhaps I had misjudged the biotic but there was an easy way to tell for sure. I would see just how far she was willing to go in her quest to make me think that she was too tough for feelings. "Well to be honest that's a relief in some ways." I mention.

"Yeah?"

"I was preparing myself for getting tatted with you or at the very least, matching genital piercings. Won't have to worry about that."

"..."

"We should probably cancel movie night too. I don't want to trap you into some kind of routine."

"..."

"Also, I'm getting a DNA scanner on my door. Too many people just strolling in whenever they feel like it. Was going to add you to the acceptable codes but you know..."

"Who else is on that list?"

"Just me."

She nodded again and did not respond. Maybe she really was this dense but if she wanted to keep up the pretense of there being distance between us I wouldn't stop her. Something told me though that she was struggling with her nature and the automatic reaction to push away.

"Cool. Good talk." I jiggle my head. "See you around."

I casually walk away and up the stairs to the elevators with a wide grin on my face. Estimating that she would be up to see me in about a day I went to my cabin with a light heart. I put some piano music on and sit at my desk with a glass of water in my hand instead of a libation as I listen to a long dead Earth musician. An hour or so passes as I replay the events of the day in my mind and it strikes me that I used to call up the ship's AI during introspective times like these.

"EDI." I say.

"What's wrong, Commander?" she responded.

"Nothing, nothing. Just wanted to check in. How are you?"

"I am well, Shepard." her voice fills my room. "It has been some time since you have simply wanted to talk."

"Yes, I'm sorry. Have you been angry with me?"

"No. I understand that your human emotions are often overly complex."

"Indeed. If it makes you feel any better, I've always had strange relationships with the women in my life."

"I am not female, Shepard."

"Heh. You're getting there. You could use a more stormy temperament but you've gained a certain...caring persona that I would find hard to assign to a male."

"Thank you."

"Welcome."

"Also, I should inform you that you will have company in a few moments."

"Ah, already? Very good. Log me out here, would you kindly? We will chat later EDI."

"Yes Commander. And let me say that it is good to have you back."

Stepping down to the couch I put on Jack's favorite Blasto flick halfway through just past her favorite part where the hanar attempts to fake a cowboy drawl. When she came charging into my room moments later I'm all smiles as she rounds the corner in a huff.

"Subject Zero." I nod happily.

Unable to keep from looking at the screen she glanced over at it before refocusing her rage on me. "Did you put this on because you knew I would be pissed?" she accused. "Dammit I just missed the cowboy part!"

"Why would you be angry?"

"Cut the shit." she growled. "You know damn well why."

"Do I?" I challenge. "You're the one who keeps running away. A man can only chase for so long."

"Put my name on the fucking door!" she pointed at the exit. "I'll come in here whenever I want!"

"All right, all right! For the angel's sake. All you had to do was ask." I raise my hands.

"And if I feel like getting mods and taking you with me, you're going." she added.

"I don't know...this is sounding awfully relationship-ey..."

"Shepard!"

I laugh and grab her hand. Dragging her down to the couch with me the convict refuses to make eye contact so I kiss the side of her cheek. We sit there for a little while as she fumes and I firmly hold her in place. The screen continues to play as I inwardly cackle at her simmering anger.

"You know that if you cheat on me, I'll kill you, right?" she asked while looking straight forward.

"Yep."

"And if I see any alien skanks within ten feet of your door I'll kill them too."

"I'll spread the word."

"You better not have been serious about skipping movie night either."

"Wasn't."

Jack finally sighed in defeat and looked over at me. I beamed at her and she let her oddly textured head fall onto my shoulder to look up at me from a lower angle. "You're crazy for wanting me around." she informed.

"I could say the same thing about you, Jacqueline."

"You're such a-" she stumbled, "-dumbass." and the biotic smiled just a little.

"You know that when this is over, you're getting bent over my bed, right?" I ask.

"What if I don't want to?"

"Well you could try to resist I guess. That would just make it hotter."

Her devious smile widened. "You're a sick fuck, Shepard."

"Uh huh. And I'll jump out of the airlock right now if you can honestly tell me that you're not turned on."

Subject Zero bit the bottom of her lip and grinned fiercely at me. It had been a rough week but it was shaping up to be a great one after all. That is, of course, if I managed to survive. We settle in to watch the rest of the film.

The End


	15. Upper Right

The three of them weren't buying what I was selling and that made it difficult to weasel my way out of the situation. They're the ones that are putting me in this position; it was a little unfair that someone was going to be pissed no matter what I did. Weighing the options in my mind for the millionth time I looked at their faces. One angry and expectant, one shielded and annoyed and one passive but focused.

It was time to get on with it and I made up my mind for better or worse. A lot had changed in the last few years of my life and especially the last six months or so but some things never changed. Rising from my seat I handed the apple to Liara. I saw Jack's body tense and did nothing to get out of the way before she struck me hard across the face. Without another word she convict stomped out of my cabin and I knew that I might never get on her good side ever again.

And Tali, lovely, gentle Tali, was shaking in anger. She glanced over at Liara who met her hurt gaze calmly and then back to me. "I always knew this was going to happen." she said on the verge of tears and I was shocked to realize that it was not outrage but grief that made her tremble.

"Tali..." I try to start but she bolted from the cabin and I could hear her crying as she went. Reeling at what I had done I staggered back and slumped into my office chair, heartbroken. The asari came to stand next to me as I hunch over with my elbows resting on my knees and bury my face in my hands. Nothing ever came easy for me in this life and there was no exception here. Liara didn't say anything but only put her warm hand on my shoulder. After a few moments of self pitying I heard her take a few dainty bites of the apple I had given her.

"Remarkable taste." she commented.

Sighing I sit back and tilt my head up to her. Her eyes were soft, kind, full of understanding. I didn't have to worry if she grasped what I had done for her; she knew better than anyone else. "I can get you more if you like." I say in a drained voice.

"I'd like that."

Staring forward at my fish tank I fix my stare in the distance for a minute or so as Tali's sobs echo in my mind and my face throbs from Jack's punch. The woman at my side doesn't speak but her hand never leaves my shoulder. "What should I have done?" I ask. "What would have been right?"

"You did what your heart told you to do. It doesn't get any more right than that." she reassured me.

"You're just saying that because I chose you." I crease one side of my mouth upwards.

"No, I would have respected your decision no matter what you did." she explained from just behind me.

"Of course you would." I say soberly and massage my aching jaw. "Because no matter what you'd always be there for me."

"And you for me, Shepard."

I thought very seriously about incurring alcohol poisoning in the near future but I still had work to do and I would not fall back into the patterns I had freed myself from. "There's some things I need to do..." I say even though the last thing I want is for her to leave.

"I understand. I am heading back to Hagalaz but I will return as soon as I can."

I nod but am too distraught to care much. Her hand finally left my shoulder and I watch her go. Just before exiting she room she turned back to smile at me. It was not wide or joyous or triumphant, just a tiny, thankful lifting of her mouth. She was gone a moment later and I knew that despite all of the misery I had brought upon myself today that I had made the right decision.

* * *

><p><p>

Days pass and I am inundated with work and meetings. I send long messages laced with apologies to both Jack and Tali that go unanswered. It was just as well as I didn't have much time to worry or grant them an audience. I avoided visiting the cargo deck since our little stand off and I had to wonder if there was a bomb waiting for me if I did. If both the quarian and convict teamed up to get back at me there was no telling what they could come up with.

We're in Illium for a few days conducting trade agreements and patent licensing between the turians and the quarian Flotilla. I'd agreed to mediate but it was like swimming through quicksand wearing leaden weights with these people. I didn't know that with my greatly increased stature in the galactic community that I would be spending more time being bored to tears in meetings than in my black N7 armor.

The arguments predictably deadlock for the day and I make for the exit before one of the delegates can snag me. In minutes I was out of the restricted area and going to the exit when my omni-tool buzzed with a message. Always wary when I wasn't fully geared I dislike stopping to read email out in the open. I was still protected in my suit as the specs had been lifted from the Illusive Man's own attire. I had my personal shield as well but weapons had been left on the ship and I wasn't quite at full capability. Still, though my armor improved and focused my biotics, it was far from necessary to be combat effective.

I walk briskly to a slightly sheltered part of the hall just near the exit and stop to check the message. It was surprisingly a short note from Liara that read simply, 'Look up'.

Standing near the multiple door exit of the building the asari was waiting patiently for me. She smiles radiantly as I saunter up to her in a good mood. Dressed in a stunning black suit and sparkling asari jewelry she looked ready for a high fashion photo shoot.

"Meeting go well?" she asked.

"Not really." I say cheerfully. "Are you stalking me, Dr. T'soni? Because that would be super."

"Come on Commander." she said as she looped her arm around mine and started leading me away.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

Leading me through Illium we arrive at a holovid theater. To my surprise we enter a completely deserted auditorium and sit in the most perfect center spot. The film begins without previews and all of this was no doubt carefully orchestrated by the Shadow Broker. The movie is a light hearted turian comedy which up to this point I assumed was an oxymoron. It had an all turian cast and I have to laugh at the ridiculousness of one of them playing a krogan complete with another turian on all fours as his varren pet. In between scenes I steal a few glances at the blue skinned work of art sitting at my side. She never ceased to be the epitome of alien beauty and when she notices what I'm doing she merely makes the most diminutive of smiles.

When it's over we clap by ourselves in the empty room and head for the exit. We make idle chit chat about the film and the trade meeting on our way back to the Normandy. The marines guarding the hatch wave as we enter and I no longer care about who sees us together. I only get a slight nod from Chambers as we go up to my cabin arm in arm. Once there I put on some of her favorite piano pieces and pour us a couple of drinks.

"Mr. Winston." she approved as I handed her a glass.

"Still on my player from when you added it." I explain and take a seat about 30 cm away from her. "Thank you for taking me out. It's nice to have a break in the routine of someone either arguing with me or shooting at me."

"You don't like being an ambassador for galactic unity?" she teased.

"There aren't many things I prefer to bullets being launched in my direction but meetings are becoming one of them."

"So, how's the drell training been going?" she deftly changed the subject.

"Grueling, good, great. Thane doesn't take a day off and neither do I." Remaining quiet for a few moments I think about the stalwart assassin and the signs of his illness taking over. "Really going to miss him." I add.

"He's made his peace." she nodded. "Maybe you should too."

"I know. It's another friend not with us anymore, another trusted ally taken by something I couldn't save them from. It starts to add up on you but I have to recover and keep going. It's tough to be tough all the time."

"You don't have to be tough with me." she said softly.

"I know, Liara. You're the one person I can't fool. I know you said you leaned on me but...maybe sometimes I was leaning on you too without either of us knowing it."

She sets her drink down and I do the same. Sliding closer she picks up my hand and begins to fiddle with it.

"Shepard?"

"Yes?"

"I know we put you on the spot earlier and I'm sorry about that."

"You should be. It was extraordinarily cruel to make me do that."

She kept her pupils downcast at my hand but nodded in agreement. When she looked up with those blazing sapphire eyes I soften and could never stay mad at her for long. "Stop manipulating me." I scold.

"Whatever do you mean?" she said coyly.

Narrowing my eyelids at her in an attempt to be annoyed I have to laugh instead. Knowing that she's in the clear she brings my hand up to kiss it playfully.

"But...I've been thinking." she said more seriously. "You've had some time to evaluate what happened."

"And...?" 

"I'd understand if you chose too hastily and need to reconsider."

I shake my head in disbelief. Even now the asari would allow me to run out on her. The tolerance she showed for my antics was foolish, admirable or both. "You're maddening sometimes. You think that after that I'd say 'Just kidding!' and go back to the way things were?"

"I just want you to be happy, Shepard."

"And that's why you're the best choice. You've always been the best choice. You'd want me to be well even with someone else. I don't know what I ever did to earn that from you."

"You don't know?" she smiled and my chest seized up a little.

"Well...I could take a guess."

"I don't know...I suppose given your history that I'm a little worried if we're going to try again." she admitted.

"What? Really?" I balk. "Why?"

"Your penchant for insisting that you be on the very front of the front lines." she said off the top of her head. "And your...nearness to the other two."

"You mean my relationships with them or the fact that they're on my ship?"

"Both."

"You say that like I've given you a reason to be suspicious."

She arched an eyebrow at me and I mentally curse the human that taught her that movement. Thinking on it a second I realize that it may have been me. "All right, point taken. But like I said earlier, you had been unenthusiastic about seeing each other again."

"Yes, I've admitted that it was partially my fault for not being more assertive."

"Then Jack came aboard and things started to go that way and then Tali came aboard and that storm started to brew. I thought quite a bit about what you said and figured that door was closed. So I allowed myself to get caught up in that whirlwind before the Collector base."

The asari was quiet as she analyzed me and my words. "I'm not the kind of person you have to worry about or check up on to see if I'm faithful, you know this." I continue. "It was difficult to coexist with the two of them after me but it worked out in the end. For a while anyway."

"I know you and Tali were very close..."

"What's your point?"

"Maybe if things had been different..."

"They aren't."

"It's not an impossible scenario. Considering they're around and after cooling off will likely be back to competing for your attention. Especially Jack."

"Eh..."

"I don't understand what you see in her." she said disdainfully.

"Still sore about that, huh? Can't imagine why."

"Do you love her, Shepard?"

The question is so direct and unexpected that all I can do is stare at her like slack jawed moron. I have to remember to physically move my chin back up to close my mouth as my mind tries to wrap itself around what she asked. Did I indeed? It certainly would explain a lot. The question was one that I had never asked myself, let alone had someone ask of me.

"I...don't know." I confess. "I've always wanted her to see her get better not just for me but for herself. Maybe somewhere along the line I didn't notice that the visits to her hidey hole weren't strictly for her benefit. You have to understand that until recently I didn't think you would ever be an option again. In a fight you always know the next step, punch the other guy. In all of this things get murky very quickly. For once I only had one crazy, tattooed path to take. Then you drop a bomb on me and Tali comes back from the dead."

"And what about her?" Liara pressed. I smile sadly. This one was easy to answer. "Of course I do. But while she was gone you reminded me about what was always just below the surface."

She nodded wisely and looked down. "I feel a little guilty about all of this."

"You feel guilty? Do you have any idea how many times I'd be thinking of you when she walked in the room?"

"..."

"I could never tell her. It would have been too hurtful."

"And how do you feel now?"

"Like I don't have anything to hide anymore. Like I made the right choice."

Sliding over the rest of the way she leans her fabulous body on mine so that our faces are only millimeters apart. Doing what I had yearned to do for years I ran my fingers through her head spikes. Locking them in place onto the twisting curves I gently tug on them. She shudders and the gleam in her eye I saw the last time we were this close returns.

"You'd better know what you're doing." she warned.

"I am. I have always loved you little wing and I always-"

She kisses me and gone are the hang ups I had the last time this happened. My hand other hand latches firmly around her waist and we kissed so hard I knew that my tongue was going to be sore later already. Moving her hips on top of mine she straddled me in her flimsy gown as we fought to stay in each other's mouths. I start to peel her out of her dress and prepare myself to embrace eternity.

* * *

><p><p>

Much later I lay awake as someone buzzes my comm unit. It's technically morning and the crew is starting their daily routine but I ignore the request and keep the room dark. As Liara sleeps I listen to her peaceful breathing patterns and wondered how many times she would have been in this cabin had I not died. Would she take up a permanent residence here with me or continue with her activities from her ship? Would I see her often or rarely? Would we grow apart again if we didn't see each other often enough?

I usually don't worry like this after a wild night with an asari but she had caught me at a strange time. Perhaps I was getting needy in my older age. Maybe the whole dying thing screwed up my priorities on what was important in life. Right now it was the good doctor and no one else. There would be things I would have to smooth over but my mind was made up. I had fallen for the asari years ago and my feelings for her had gone into hiding but never really changed. It was an odd, winding path that brought us here but there was never really any chance I would be alone. Not with the women in my life. They were too strong, too demanding.

Liara begins to stir and I don't try to pretend that I haven't been awake. Rolling over she curls up on my left half and sets her spiky head on my shoulder. I can hardly think of anywhere I'd rather be or anything I'd rather be doing than existing in this moment right now.

"Been awake long?" she asked after she'd fully woken up.

"Yes."

"You've been thinking, haven't you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"No...only to me."

Time passes and neither of us speaks. There's some fidgeting but I don't want to go anywhere. Not today. I could lay in bed until the ship wide sundown twelve hours from now if I could.

"Shepard." she speaks up.

"Yes?"

"I..."

"You don't have to say anything."

"No, I do. I want you to know, I'm sorry for what I did on Illium. It had been too long, too much hurt had happened. I didn't mean to treat you the way I did but I...I was scared. Scared that I might lose you again. It's an awful feeling."

"I understand, Liara. All to well."

"Can you forgive me?"

"Pretty sure I spent most of the night forgiving you." I say and she immediately becomes endearingly flustered. It was amazing how easily the asari was rattled by such conversation as if she was new to whole sex thing.

"I- Tch- Shepard!" she stumbled. "I was trying to be serious!"

"I was too, Dr. T'soni. A man couldn't ask for anything more than to be with you. One day, when this war is over, I'll build something grand to show how much I appreciate your faith in me. Maybe claim a whole planet, name it 'Liaraville' or 'T'sonia."

"Shepard, don't be ridiculous."

"..."

"You have to be joking."

"..."

"By the Goddess, tell me you're joking!"

"Eh."

"You wouldn't!"

"Test me."

We lay there a few more minutes and I pleasantly skim through the previous evening's events. It occurs to me that I haven't had female company like this since Karnak. The long months in between had changed me and I still felt guilty but I knew everything would work out. The blue woman at my side would make it so.

"Do you think we'll beat the Reapers?" she asked suddenly.

"Probably." I answer.

"What if we don't?"

"Then we'd better spend as much time as possible right here before they show up."

I expected a shove on the arm, a good natured slap on the shoulder but she simply dug in deeper. It was turning out to be a good week after all.

The End


	16. Bottom Right

None of them seemed to be willing to accept my peace offering. Taking it back I bite into the succulent fruit. It has an amazing flavor that I continue to enjoy as the three women in front of me glare unhappily.

"Well? Shepard?" Tali said expectantly.

"I'm not doing this." I declare. "Trying to force me to choose between you three is an exercise in futility. So I choose none."

"What!?"

"Wait..."

"Huh!?" they reacted at the same time.

"You all have qualities I can't resist. I need all of you to help my war effort. I can't stand the thought of causing any of you more distress. So I won't. You want me to choose? Done."

"You have to give us an answer!" Tali demanded.

"You sound like the Alliance right before I drop their calls. Now get out of my room, all of you. I'm getting a damn DNA scanner on my door."

They're a tangle of arms as I gently push the lot of them towards the exit. "Wait!" Jack fought me. "You're just going to be alone?"

"Looks that way. Maybe Chambers is free, I don't know. Not going to worry about it right now."

There was more protesting followed by light shoving but I manage to get them all past the door. "Thanks for stopping by, good day, adieu, adios, etc."

Manually pulling the door in front of their angry faces I lock it and turn to lean on the smooth metal with their muffled voices just centimeters away. A grin splits my face and I sit down at my desk feeling great, giddy even. Instead of making one of them very happy and two extremely unhappy I'd just made all of them uproariously angry. With any luck, the Reapers would attack before I had to make any hard decisions again. I am almost overjoyed to get back to work.

* * *

><p><p>

A few days go by and after a particularly exhausting all nighter I find myself fairly drunk but content. I'd not heard from the three harpies since booting them from my cabin and it felt good. Still, it had been months and months since my couch saw things that would make an elcor blush and perhaps not thinking clearly I put in a call to Kelly Chambers.

"Yes, Commander?" she answered with that tone that was just asking for it.

"I need to see you immeeediately." I speak carefully to avoid slurring.

"It's late Commander..." she said hesitantly.

"So hurry up!" I grumble and end the call. While I wait for her I think about the biotic moves I'm going to use. Mass effect fields were a beautiful thing when properly applied.

The door hisses open and Kelly walks in slightly nervous. She's as ravishing as ever in her Cerberus uniform which I had yet to replace. For some reason she's skittish, frightened even.

"Kelly. Kelly, Kelly." I ramble. "You're so great. So pretty. You always check my mail and feed my fish."

"Thanks Commander but what did you want to-"

"So great. So pretty. You're like an asari dancer but like...human."

"Commander I-"

"What's with the uniform? It's hot in here. Why don't you-"

"Commander!" she shouted and I sat straight up at the sudden burst with my eyes wide.

"I can't stay." she said uneasily. "I'm sorry."

"Whaaaa..." I have trouble processing. "Why not? Someshing I did?"

"Actually...I've been getting...messages." she explained uncomfortably. "Someone has been emailing me with very personal, private information from an encrypted source warning me not to socialize with you. Someone else has been hacking my terminal from a remote location on the ship and leaving...mean notes."

"Ugh...huh...who would do that?" I ask in genuine innocence.

"And then Jack ran into me the other day. I mean, literally, she just rammed me full force." Chambers recalled. "All she said was, 'Go up there and I break something off'. I assume she meant here."

"Uh...this is sooooo not a good time for this."

"I'm sorry Commander but I think we should just have a proper working relationship. I have to go now." Without another word the radiant redhead fled from my room like a frightened deer.

Staring blankly at the door I hiccup and rub my eyes. "Fuckin'...gold fish..." I mutter.

* * *

><p><p>

Sitting the ship's bar a few days later I'm downing blue ones when Captain Garrus Vakarian comes in. Taking a minute to mix himself a purple one he sits beside me and I clink glasses with him almost by reflex. I'm in no mood to talk and for a while it seems like he isn't either. Resting my arms on the bar and using them for a pillow I stare at the bottles lining the wall.

"Rough week?" he finally asked.

"Rough month." I correct.

"You've been acting like your old self again at least." he observed.

"I thrive on adversity." I say glumly.

"How's your personal life going?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now."

He nods and sips his purple drink. I lift my head high enough off the counter to reach my straw and get a few sips of the blue stuff. A few minutes pass and he asks, "How about now?"

"Y'know, I don't see where they get off make me choose again." I rage. "Why can't I just date all three of them and have everyone be cool with it?"

"I guess your search for a multi-partner religion hasn't gone so well." the turian consoled.

"Actually I found one, but in order for it to count you have to have kids with each female."

"Oh, wow, no." he blurted.

"Yeah. I mean, Liara all day but Jack? I'd probably get killed during birth if not before. And Tali? She'd just keel over and die even if it were possible."

"So what are you going to do? Chambers confided in me that she doesn't feel safe even talking to you."

"I'm back to square one, buddy o' mine." I sigh.

"And that means...?"

"Liara's been sending me her articles in the Presidium Science Journal on Prothean technological discoveries."

"I'm sorry, why is that a thing?" he asked.

"Oh, well, listening to her talk about sciencey stuff is kind of our foreplay."

"Ugh." Garrus closed his eyes. "Never, ever tell me something like that again."

"Tali's been reading quarian poetry to me that she records and pumps into my cabin. Still haven't figured out how's she doing it. Then she mentions she's going for a run around the cargo bay."

"I don't even want to-" Garrus stopped himself. "Let me guess, Jack's been painting you hearts and skulls?"

"Ooooh, good guess, good guess." I praise. "No, she dumped a dead Cerberus agent at my cabin door the other day. Poor fella had his neck snapped. I gotta say it was pretty adorable."

"Adorable?" he echoed in horror.

"I'll be damned if I know where she caught him, there's none in this area. Can't figure out what she expected me to do with it but it was a very thoughtful gesture."

"You know, every time I think my life is a mess I don't feel so bad after talking with you for five minutes about yours." he scoffed.

"No problem, Garrus."

"What are you planning on doing then?"

"I don't know. I was hoping the Reapers would attack soon but they're taking their sweet time. Maybe a sun will explode or something."

"Huh. You really are back to square one." he shook his head in disbelief.

"Yep. Maybe I should just tell them I'm gay."

"For the last time Shepard. Not. Interested." he joked.

"Pffffssssshh, you wish, face plate." I blather. "I'm Commander fucking Shepard. If I were gay I'd have well groomed men from here to Horizon lining up to meat me."

"I think my translator skipped-"

"Back to square one." I say again and took another few sips.

"And here you are." he concluded.

"Uh huh. Hey, I just had a great idea. We should get you a girl. A nice human woman with giant...fringe."

"No thanks. Humans are crazy."

"What about a salarian? Uh...does that work between you two?"

"..."

"Actually I don't think I've ever seen a turian chick. How odd is that?"

"Really?"

"Well maybe I have but didn't know...is it xenophobist if I can't tell the difference?"

Garrus finished his drink in one gulp and said. "By the way, Ash contacted me today. She's changed her mind and wanted to sign up with us but I said the Iwo Jima is full. Told her the Normandy would love to have her and she accepted. Said something about 'picking up where we left off' and sent a poem along with her message for you."

My head slumped to the counter to be completely horizontal. "Please tell me you're kidding." I plead.

The turian rose to leave and as he passed me he said, "I am."

"I hate you." I call as he leaves the room. I stay to finish my blue one before grabbing a red one for the road. Noting three empty glasses I stop and attempt to focus my vision on them. Touching each with my wobbly finger I start, "Eenie, meenie, minie, moe..."

The End


End file.
